My husband is one of 4 coaches on a 10U travel team. Our head coach has suffered a serious illness and isn't around much - and another dad/coach had to take a job out of state during the beginning of the season, so my hubby & 1 other coach have had to manage mostly on their own. Let me preface by saying we have 4 girls that never should've made the team - there were 2 sets of scorers during try-outs and these 4 girls were given high enough scores to make the team but after the 1st practice we learned they could barely throw, catch, or hit or it was their 1st or 2nd year playing. A few of these girls never come to practices (some have other sports committments) and it's hit or miss as to whether they'll show up for games. We have to do 3 lineups just in case someone shows up unexpectedly. The girls that committed to growing as players have improved tremendously and we were actually able to make it to the playoffs. Due to the fact one of our best players would be missing, we were able to get a great substitute who happens to be an amazing pitcher - something our team lacked from the beginning. Both of our pitchers (one being my own daughter) and our other pitcher were basically in their 2nd year of fast-pitch. They are also the youngest on the team and aren't even 10 yet, both very petite and smaller than the other girls on our own team and those we play against. My daughter is more athletic and the stronger of the two but still not as strong or consistent as others we've competed against throughout the season. We know it and our daughter knows it as well but since she's all we have she does the best she can do. We (including my daughter) were very excited to be able to have a substitute play in the quarter-final (since we would be missing one of our strongest players for that game) that just happened to be an awesome pitcher and that could help us compete at the level of the other teams. She's also very strong in the in-field and a great hitter. We were able to win the quater-finals but have unfortunately experienced a backlash - mostly from the father/coach of our back-up pitcher & his wife who only pitched one inning and apparently some other parents were upset we brought someone in (a ringer) to help us win - the consensus being their child lost playing time. The fact of the matter is we played our daughter the 1st 2 innings and let the ringer pitch the next 2. Our back-up is clearly the weakest pitcher on the team - she has no speed to her pitch and basically lobs it in. We weren't in a position that we could lose in the 6th, so we let her pitch and b/c we were ahead more than 6 runs we didn't play a 7th inning - otherwise she would've pitched 2 innings just like my own daughter. Since our ringer was truly a SUBSTITUTE, she sat out as much as all the other girls and played 1st base a couple of times. No one lost any playing time and played the same amount they normally would - with the ONE exception of the our back-up pitcher who pitched one less inning than usual. As previously stated, this back-up pitcher's dad/coach and mom seemed to be the most vocal about it, and compounding the issue is the fact we and our daughters are good friends. The 2 other coaches (which includes the head coach) were adamant that the back-up pitcher not even pitch at all but my husband fought to get her in for the 6th inning since it was clear we couldn't lose. Apparently she went home and told her parents (neither were in attendance for the game) that she only pitched one inning and we received an e-mail from her dad/one of the coaches and our friend - that it wasn't fair to the other girls to bring her in to play and winning "at all cost" isn't a good idea. While he's one of our coaches, he's been unable to attend most practices and games due to having to work out of state so he's basically out of the loop as to what's going with the girls and how they're progressing, etc. My husband very diplomatically explained the situation...that we needed a subsitute regardless - and that even our own daughter pitched less than normal and that we - and more importanly - she - had no problem with it b/c she wanted the team to have the best chance at winning. This is, after all, a travel team where we're playing the best of the best and aspiring for excellence as well. All of the girls (except the back-up pitcher) welcomed her to the team and were thrilled we won...the ringer expressed it was the most fun she had this year. We truly don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to compete and aspiring to win. We purposely signed up for travel ball so my daughter could elevate her own level of play and learn at a higher level...that only happens when you're playing with other girls who are equal or better than you. I was told by the back-up pitcher's wife that the consensus of the parents was that we should've have brought the ringer in (EVEN THOUGH WE NEEDED A SUBSTITUTE REGARDLESS OR WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ENOUGH PLAYERS) and that they all agreed it would've been better to lose with the girls we had than win with a girl that hadn't been playing with us all along. The rules wouldn't allow us to have her unless she was truly a SUBSTITUTE. I'm truly shaking my head over this entire situation as I can't wrap my mind around that! Who wants to compete to lose??? What's wrong with striving for excellence? While losing is inevitable - the goal is to try your best to win - and if you lose, so be it. I feel like if they want everyone to get a trophy at the end, not be able to steal more than one base, etc., they shouldn't have signed their kid up to play travel ball and should've stayed on a rec league where those things are encouraged. I think it's a coaches responsibility to play their best players - especially during the playoffs and give the team it's best chance to win. If my own daughter wasn't one of the best players and sat out I wouldn't have a problem with it and would understand - I know if she eventually got to the level as the best on the team she would get her chance to play then - in due time and when she's earned it. I think it makes the girls strive to improve their own game which is a good thing. It's just a sad situation all around because these are good friends of ours and it seems this is going to creat a rift where there shouldn't be one. I think it mostly stems from the thinly veiled reality that their daughter is simply the weakest pitcher - they were upset she didn't get to play as much - and they aren't able to look at it objectively and admit that this is true. She wouldn't have made the team if her dad/coach wasn't one of the scorers. If she were to try out next year she VERY likely wouldn't score high enough to make the team and definitely wouldn't be given an opportunity to pitch. We're having our daughter try out for the better teams we competed against this year (now that we know who they are) so she can continue to grown and improve since this is her passion and what she wants to do. She may or may not make the team and we'll be fine with it either way - we're thinking perhaps this will be the best solution - to move forward and the back-up pitcher will be phased out and forced to play at the level she's truly at. Then if our girls aren't playing together anymore the disparity between them won't be as obvious, there will be less jealousy from their daughter toward my daughter, and we might be able to salvage our friendship if softball is out of the picture. Any ideas/suggestions you have would be very much appreciated - my hubby and I are really taken aback at all this and we have several games coming up that are going to be awkward to say the least. Our ringer is going to be available and WE ARE PLAYING HER...back up pitcher's dad will also be in town for these last set of games and the other 3 coaches have decided the back-up will not play and that even my daughter won't pitch unless the ringer is being ineffective. Thanks in advance for any insight you can give.