Yelling & Serious Coach? Take 'em Or Leave 'em.

[AllDay]

Greetings,

My latest dilemma.....

I am the primary organizer of several teams that compete in a regional league. Part of my responsibility is to get coaching for our teams. Last year, we had a Mother & Daughter duo that stepped in and filled a void where there was no coach for our 13 & 14 year olds. This duo has played hard on the travel team circuit in the past and for the most part are very serious about the game. They are tough on the girls. At least 2, possibly 3 of the girls were driven to tears by yelling and "tough love" - for lack of a better term.

My DD played for them and told me that it wasn't so much fun and she felt like she didn't learn anything. This coaching duo is a strong contrast to our usual casual rec league volunteer Dad coaches. So on the flipside, there were parents who liked them for being tougher than what the girls were use to (i.e., running laps after the game, etc.)

My dilemma is that I might have a GREAT alternative Coach (former D1 Pitcher) to my yelling Mother/Daughter duo (mom being the really irritating one) but I have already discussed or offered the coaching spot to them starting this summer. Furthermore, my DD2 will be playing for them this year.

As a parent and program director, I am not sure what I should do here. Go with my Great alternate Coach or keep my Yelling & Serious Coach Duo that has already agreed to coach.

Any Thoughts?....Suggestions? Please share.

 

[Sparky Guy]

It sounds like you're running a cookies and candy in the dugout type of program. Your "GREAT" may not really by a great coach. Rather, the coach is a good fit for the type of program you run. I'm gathering by your post the mother/daughter combination do not have a daughter on the team. Is it really just random "yelling" or are they just loud? Are you listening to what's being said, not the volume? I'm willing to bet they are pushing kids who've never been pushed before. If those kids are used to only putting out a minimum effort they don't really want to learn.

Put your "GREAT" coach in place. I doubt you have the desire by the majority of the kids in the program for it to be much more than a part time activity before they get ice cream after the game.

I don't mean to sound harsh. But it's what I'm reading from between the lines of your post. I believe you knew the answer already. You just wanted someone to confirm it.

 

[sluggers]

What Sparky said is true, but also:

but I have already discussed or offered the coaching spot to them starting this summer.

Let me guess, one of the goals of your program is to teach the players "responsibility". And, you also believe that if a person, either a child or an adult, makes a commitment, they should honor that commitment. You don't like children who promise to play and then quit the team, or adults who promise to coach but then decide not to. Do you believe that the same basic responsibility does not extend to you?

So, this is the same advice I gave two days a go to a kid who wanted to quit the team during the season: It is too late. You made a commitment. You have to honor the commitment. If you feel the same way *NEXT* season, then make a change.

Additionally:

I learned from a friend that the Chinese have a saying: "The moon is rounder outside of China." It has the same meaning as "the grass is always greener..." And, right now, you think that the moon is rounder over the house of the "GREAT" coach.

If you've got two adults who are committed to the game and worked *hard* for the entire season, the last thing you should do is treat them poorly.

 

[sluggers]

What Sparky said is true. Here is my take:

but I have already discussed or offered the coaching spot to them starting this summer.

Let me guess, one of the goals of your program is to teach the players "responsibility". And, you also believe that if a person, either a child or an adult, makes a commitment, they should honor that commitment. You don't like children who promise to play and then quit the team, or adults who promise to coach but then decide not to. Do you believe that the same basic responsibility does not extend to you?

So, this is the same advice I gave two days a go to a kid who wanted to quit the team during the season: It is too late. You made a commitment. You have to honor the commitment. If you feel the same way *NEXT* season, then make a change.

Additionally:


If you've got two adults who are committed to the game and worked *hard* for the entire season, the last thing you should do is treat them poorly. Talk to them about the problems and help them become better coaches.

Find a different place for the new gal/guy (maybe as assistant) and see how she/he really is. If she/he is really GREAT, then you'll have three good coaches instead of one.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I just watched a game that I would have loved if someone had yelled at my students. They acted like they had no idea, where they were. I don't mean call them names or cuss, I mean get their attention.

Plus, I am reading Sum It Up, by Pat Summitt. She was a master motivator.

 

[AllDay]

It sounds like you're running a cookies and candy in the dugout type of program. Your "GREAT" may not really by a great coach. Rather, the coach is a good fit for the type of program you run. I'm gathering by your post the mother/daughter combination do not have a daughter on the team. Is it really just random "yelling" or are they just loud? Are you listening to what's being said, not the volume? I'm willing to bet they are pushing kids who've never been pushed before. If those kids are used to only putting out a minimum effort they don't really want to learn.

Put your "GREAT" coach in place. I doubt you have the desire by the majority of the kids in the program for it to be much more than a part time activity before they get ice cream after the game.

I don't mean to sound harsh. But it's what I'm reading from between the lines of your post. I believe you knew the answer already. You just wanted someone to confirm it.

Sparky Guy,

Don't know the answer yet. Just looking for some wisdom from the masses. And I'm not running a "cookies and candy" program...Lol. But I don't want the girls to be discouraged out of the game or lose there love for it by a coach that wants to make kids cry. At the end of the day shouldn't they have fun PLAYING the game while playing hard?

My "Great" option is a former D1 Ivy League starting pitcher who now teaches Pitching, already works with many of our girls, and has the temperament that I think would work. She is a better fit for the program and i believe will get the job done but the loyalist in me wants to keep my word and ride out another season with my coaching duo from the previous season.

 

[AllDay]

What Sparky said is true. Here is my take:



Let me guess, one of the goals of your program is to teach the players "responsibility". And, you also believe that if a person, either a child or an adult, makes a commitment, they should honor that commitment. You don't like children who promise to play and then quit the team, or adults who promise to coach but then decide not to. Do you believe that the same basic responsibility does not extend to you?

So, this is the same advice I gave two days a go to a kid who wanted to quit the team during the season: It is too late. You made a commitment. You have to honor the commitment. If you feel the same way *NEXT* season, then make a change.

Additionally:


If you've got two adults who are committed to the game and worked *hard* for the entire season, the last thing you should do is treat them poorly. Talk to them about the problems and help them become better coaches.

Find a different place for the new gal/guy (maybe as assistant) and see how she/he really is. If she/he is really GREAT, then you'll have three good coaches instead of one.

Thanks for the reply. I know that I'm going to have to talk to them regarding my expectations. Last year, I got into an argument/debate that lasted for 2 1/2 hours after the game with the problematic one of the duo. Just not an easy person to work with.

 

[teammom2]

Could both options work? Keep the mother/daughter since you already asked them and offer an assistant coaching job on another team for your new prospect? That would give both the opportunity to coach and give the newbie a foot in the door for next year?

 

[T Red]

I've seen this from the parent side. I emphasize Parent side as it was truly frustrating all season. I absolutely don't condone quitting in mid season but come extremely close during this time. I'm proud of my DD for hanging in there.

DD had a coach that stayed on the girls all the time one season. He was use to 18u elite teams that already knew the game well and he did not adjust to the 12u. The girls got nervous at the plate and made bad swings due to his tactics. Overall the team played much worse under this coach. The practices in our case were few and worthless. DD did not learn much of anything that season. IMO it was a wasted season and $. Several girls left mid season. The org should have remove him during the season. The org as a whole took a huge hit to their image and has not recovered since.

Just my opinion. If it is your job to secure good coaches for the org don't hesitate, get rid of the bad coaching and get the best available. I know it is a gamble, but a bad coach will ruin your org's reputation. Word travels fast in the small world of travel sb.


I may have to read the Pat Summit book. Truly the master.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Sparky Guy,

Don't know the answer yet. Just looking for some wisdom from the masses. And I'm not running a "cookies and candy" program...Lol. But I don't want the girls to be discouraged out of the game or lose there love for it by a coach that wants to make kids cry. At the end of the day shouldn't they have fun PLAYING the game while playing hard?

My "Great" option is a former D1 Ivy League starting pitcher who now teaches Pitching, already works with many of our girls, and has the temperament that I think would work. She is a better fit for the program and i believe will get the job done but the loyalist in me wants to keep my word and ride out another season with my coaching duo from the previous season.

With some more info, you are faced with a dilemma. You need to observe the mom/daughter coaches and see if they are really as harsh as they are portrayed to be. Are they abusive like the basketball coach Rutgers just fired or are they just pushing the girls?

As for your former Ivy league pitcher I would try and place her with your weakest coach. Let her "help" and teach the coach.

Right now you need to define exactly where you want to the program to be to all parties involved. Especially, the coaches. Do you want "cookies and candy" or do you want to have the coaches push and teach the kids. Once everyone knows the overall goal for the program it'll be easier to put the philosophy into action.

I was involved with a program that wanted to put together a travel side to their softball. After 3 years of fighting the rec baseball mentality side of the program I gave up and moved on. Unless everyone is on the same page you're fighting a losing effort.