Would you agree that inconsistency is strongly correlated with lack of confidence?

[maksoftball]

DD is REALLY struggling with confidence issues no thanks to her HS coaches. She is at the bottom, and struggling to fight her way out. However, she has struggled with being accepted by teammates and coaches in past. She is quiet and somewhat socially awkward; however, she is very, very smart and athletic. Her current coach said it best "You have these REALLY great moments, and then you have these not so great moments...you are just a little inconsistent". DD has struggled with inconsistency for a long time, and we think some of it has to do with worrying about whether she will be accepted fully (being turned away from current team at next tryout) by teammates and/or coaches. Anyhow, we bought her the Mind Gym to read for now, but I wondered if we should find someone neutral to talk to. Right now, we are not it (after all, she is a teenager...who listens to their parents??). But I wondered if it could be someone like a sports counselor/psychologist? She really needs to get her head out of this pity hole, and start realizing how great she really is (realistically and potentially).

FYI - I try to encourage her to talk to her coaches...they encourage this. They have over 25 years of experience in dealing with teenagers - girls too; and I believe they could really open her eyes a little to see the light. She just has a problem with confiding in other adults that are not her parents. AND she hates talking on the phone. Last night was a rough practice for her, and I suggested that she call her coach and talk to him about her concerns. She told me to butt out. -_-

So what do you think? Let it go and let her figure it out? Since I have given her the tools she needs to work it out? Or what?

 

[Softball scholar]

Confidence has a lot to do with consistency. Also could be flaws in mechanics or skillls. but sounds like you're on top of that.
There are a lot of situations that can destroy confidence. Also could be a matter of inconsistent focus thats causing this.

In softball and other sports, we spend almost all of the time on playing skills and almost nothing is taught on mental skills. Some kids naturally have the mental maturity/skills to handle game pressure. But a lot of kids and most struggle with it to a degree. Buts its something kids can learn and improve on. Softftball is a fine motor skill game that will punish you when you're confidence is not there. You have to recognize that theres pressure on kids today to perform. More so than when you and I were a kid when you look at the money and time parents invest into travel sports.

My DD had some rough inconsistent moments this spring, mostly in pitching. We've been using John Micheal Kelly's materials and talking to him for help. See his website at Fastpitch Softball | Tips to Improve Game Confidence and Performance: Skyrocket Her Confidence & Performance!. My DD is buying into some of his concepts and she played really well and consistent the last two tournaments. He has a lot of free info , but I would definitely recommend buying his book "Sports Confidence Blue Print". He also offers some personal sports confidence sessions via video conferencing at a reasonable price. Maybe or maybe not what you're looking for.

Good luck.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Inconsistency can be caused by any number of things. May or may not have anything to do with confidence.

I'd start by looking closer at her performance to see if the description of inconsistent really means anything at all.

Almost by definition, really good players and really bad players tend to be consistently very good or bad. The other 80 percent tend to be inconsistent. That's why they're in the middle. Is it accurate to say she is more inconsistent than other players? Players who are physically strong or fast tend to be viewed as inconsistent because they are physically capable of doing things that others can't (hit home runs, throw girls out at the plate from CF), but they also can strike out and miss fly balls, so they're range of outcomes is wider. Thus they seem more inconsistent. It's not necessarily an issue of confidence, but simply of improving skills.

The most underrated cause of inconsistency is the opponent. We make no errors against a crummy team, then five against a good team, and we think that if we were just more consistent and played like we did the first time, we'd be pretty good, all the while ignoring the fact that the good team never struck out, hit the ball twice as hard, put more runners on base and stressed the defense 10 times as much.

 

[sluggers]

Kind of an odd post, if you think about it...

"My DD told me, in no uncertain terms, that she is confident she can handle this problem. However, she is wrong. I have no confidence in her. Why do you think she lacks confidence?"

 

[Southpaw729]

Hi,

I would be happy to speak with you about your DD. I work with dozens of softball players around the country with issues similar to your DD's. Certainly her confidence is absolutely impacting her lack of consistency on the field. She is likely experiencing doubt at more stressful moments of the game causing her to hesitate, over-think, worry, etc. In a game as fast as softball these moments of doubt can and usually do kill performance.

You can certainly help her with her breathing, as short, choppy breaths in states of stress serve to tense muscles, reduce reaction time and even diminish eyesight. By taking deeper breaths the mind and body can move quickly to a more relaxed state.

Likely it will take more than this to get your DD's head right, and I am happy to help.

John Michael Kelly
sportsconfidencecoach@gmail.com