What to do?

[cowgirlspapa]

DD finished her first season of comp ball at 10u. The team is stacked and she is the number 3 pitcher. She has played with these girls for a few years now and has made close friends. She loves her team and she has very good coaches. The entire team stayed together for rec season and is still dominant after our third week--despite the fact that we have now moved up to 12u. Problem is that she doesn't pitch much, and didn't in comp season either. Being realistic, I see why as the two pitchers in front of her are clearly better. However, she would be a starter on just about any other team in the state.

I have constant talks with the coach, who is a friend. He reassures me that she is doing fine. (I do not politic for more mound time btw!). I see her confidence waying a bit when she is on the mound. She guides her pitches and walks more batters and allows more hits than she used to. She has been a guest pitcher for a much inferior team, which performed very well for. No pressure there at all, she hit exceptioally well and played great in the field.

To be honest, she would have a lot more opportunities with another team. But we have comitted. It is painful watching her struggle now. My heart tells me that she would be better off elsewhere, my head tells me that she will never get the level of coaching that she has now. She has fun, but now her overall confidence is really suffering. She is struggling at the plate terribly, when she was a top hitter on this team most of the year.

Another issue, I have comitted for next year. Not much money out of pocket yet, but I gave him my word. DD says she wants to stay, but I am not sure if this is good or not. This softball community is close knit and I hate to burn bridges. The coach did not have tryouts because the team stayed in tact. I know that he would lose his mind if we left at this point.

Is it good to play up on a very successful team or get opportunities? She often benefits from playing deep into tournaments, but we pay a lot for lessons and spend a lot of extra time working on pitching to not receive much of a carrot at the end of the stick. Is this an investment in the future or is DD going to slam into a wall and be done with this altogether?

Not sure the coach is telling me what he really feels either. Anyway, I am rambling, but this is a major concern in the casa right now. Your input is greatly appreciated.

 

[SoftballMomof2]

I am not sure what the best option for you and your DD is but we've recently finished out reg season (10U) and decided to move to another team.

My DD was the #1 pitcher all year, very rarely did she NOT pitch an inning. With that being said we are moving up to a more competitive team. With the current team she does not really have to compete for her position like she wants to.... She works hard at home and during pitching lessons for her position but it's almost a give-in that she is going to pitch.

Is your DD happy with her current team?
My DD was asking to move. She wanted a change.

Does she have a private pitching coach?

How is the coaching on her team?

It truly is a hard decision to make! Good luck!

Oh and about your commitment.... now is not too later for you to pull out of next year. It is still plenty early for them to find another girl.

 

[jacketsfan]

This is a tough one. However, at this age, being on a "good team" is more for parents egos than player development, IMHO. Winning is great, and you don't want to establish a culture of losing, but you also need to play to improve. You have to see live pitching, meaning you need at-btas, and you have to throw to real hitters trying to score to improve as a pitcher.

At this age, I really feel that anyone that puts pressure on you to stay, or would lose his mind asa you say, is not worthy of being your DD's coach. If he is a friend, he'll even take her back after she gets more game time somewhere else. I have done that before, both as a coach and a parent.

People get way too hung up on these loyalty issues at these younger ages. Do what is right for her - that is what matters to her.

 

[SoftballMomof2]

I also wanted to add something....

I thought my DD's coach from this past seasons team would be mad if we left as she is the only solid pitcher on the team.
I just knew he would come un-glued. I talked to him and he was happy for my DD and said if a child has such as opportunity to take it!
So I bet if you sat and talked with the coach you would find him to be a little bit more understanding!

Goodluck.

 

[cowgirlspapa]

Thanks!

Thanks for the posts. Yes, DD does have a personal coach. Her coach, albiet we pay her well, has taken a special interest in DD. She has recommended moving her to a less competitive team so that she will get more opportunities to pitch and play the infield. Her coach told me that when she was young she pitched for other teams so that she would not get too close to a situation. I think that is wise. I will definately seek out those opportunities.

I agree that loyalty can be a bad thing at this young age; however, her coaches are exceptional. She generally takes a few more reps to understand a concept and is faifly new to the sport compared to her team mates. I want to be as supportive as possible, and maybe the coach is giving me the used car salesman pitch. DD would pitch against the sisters of the poor in most tournaments while our top two pitched on Sundays. Again, they are advanced and DD is not quite at their level. DD has been clocked at 47 at 10 and I don't think her velocity has dropped much over moving to the big ball, at least when we are training. In games she is clearly guiding her pitches and the velocity is probably around 42-43 at the very early stages of 12u. This indicates a lack of confidence to me, which I hate to see. Again, not getting to the mound with her primary team is not helping matters.

One of the reasons I keep her where she is is because of a few things: quality coaching, good team mates, positive social environment for DD and the family, proximity to home. DD is happy to be with her teammates at practice and still looks forward to games. BUT...gametime and the aftermath can suck. She is not pitching and sitting the bench more than I or she would like. I could move her to lesser teams and some of the things I mentioned may be missing. It is a crapshoot and I am at a loss...

 

[sluggers]

I've read your post several times--so: You are trying to get your DD to play at a highly competitive level. The way a person get to that level is to be focused like a laser as to what she is doing and why she is doing it.

I faced similar problems with my kids (one was D1 all conference in softball, the other was a D3 hoops national champion in hoops). Based on my experience, I wouldn't waste 2 seconds. I would find a place where she can PLAY.
(If she were older, perhaps I would give different advice. But, she is 10YOA.)

First, let's be honest--your DD is having a miserable time. Sitting the bench s*cks, and we all know it. There have been more tears shed on my kitchen table because my DDs didn't get a chance to play than because they lost "the big game".

quality coaching

Why do you say that? Your DD is playing on this team, and the coaches haven't made her good enough to play. Don't you get it? They've failed. They haven't provided the appropriate instruction to make your DD good enough to play.

They are telling you that when she gets older, she'll get better. Great--all children do that. So, what is this great coaching? Honestly, it sounds to me like your coaches want to keep her tied into the program in case they lose a pitcher.

good team mates, positive social environment for DD and the family, proximity to home.

If your primary concern are these issues, then she should quit softball and join the Girl Scouts, the band, an arts group, the swim team...there are 10,000 better organizations for those things than softball. In fact, put her on a rec team, and she'll get the same things she is getting now, and it will be cheaper and more fun for her.