what should i do with this player?

[llabtfos]

12U semi-talented player, BUT gets so down on herself, her team, everyone that she has stopped communicating with the coaches during the game. i hate to give up on a kid but i am at my wits end here. i think her mom is the main problem and so does everyone else. this gal almost cost us a championship with her bad attitude. (no big deal to me but this will be an issue to her HS coaches later on)

this girl is very smart, i am wondering if she doesnt know how to deal with failure because she is used to things coming easily to her in school. but she is not a great athlete so i know it hasnt always been easy in that realm.

mom wants her to pitch and she is a good pitcher when she is on and in the right mindset, however one tiny thing goes bad and wham, she is walking batters left and right. has anyone ever dealt with a player like this before?

 

[jimginas]

yup - many times! Don't give up on her, she's young and ABSOLUTELY influenced and you may be CRITICAL to be a POSITIVE influence on her to grow and mature! It IS very important she understands what will be accepted and what is a detriment to the team.
1) As a pitching coach, I often finish practice by placing my pitchers in a simulated situation. (ie: tying run at 3rd, winning run at 2nd and NO OUT, or maybe tie game and winning run at second. She has to pitch her way out of it. Throw in an ERROR or a clear strike you (BLUE) calls a ball, and TEACH her HOW to deal with those situations, CALMLY, not stressing, letting the player who made an error know to relax as you'll get the next batter out, etc.) To me its a matter of MATURITY and I make a point of telling my players that, as they MATURE, MY girls learn to have compsure!
2) If she can understand when she, as the FOCAL point on the field, shows emotion, that effects her teammates and if negative, can even cause Blues to not be favorable! (True whether we admit it or not! Negative pitcher attitude MAY HURT pitchers close pitches!) If POSITIVE and UPBEAT, she can CONTROL the mood of her team (players, coaches, parents AND BLUES and help her team!)
3) If she is composed and doing well, she is helping the team. Loss of composure leading to BALL 3s and walks HURT the team. (I hate Ball 3s most times, unless we are controloiing an iunintentional walk. Somehow pitching 0-2/1-2 and even 2-2 is better then Ball 3!) Negative attitude HURTS the team and she needs to know if she behaves like this, you WILL pull her to sit on the bench next to you and learn, rather then stay on the field frustrating herself MORE and HURTING the team! Its not a punishment, its what you HAVE to do so the WHOLE TEAM CONCEPT can help the WHOLE Team do best they can.
4) I BET she is SO HARD on herself to be great, she DISAPPOINTS herself and this is causing her frustration. She does NOT and CANNOT always control what happens after release of her pitch, BUT she DOES have control of her NEXT Pitch ( "one pitch at a time" ) and how her defense can be prepared behind her to field the next ball IF she is composed and in CONTROL!

 

[madskilz]

Excellent post jimginas! Who are you associated with in Hampton Roads area?

 

[jimginas]

Thank you madskilz..................Kings Fork HS and 1st year w/ Smithfield Galaxy 16U. (Moved down from Southern Maryland where I help coach with Southern MD SLAM and Extreme)

 

[llabtfos]

thanks - i have coached this girl in different sports for 3 years now, this year has been a head scratcher- i think there may be underlying issues that i am not in any way able to diagnose

 

[jimginas]

thanks - i have coached this girl in different sports for 3 years now, this year has been a head scratcher- i think there may be underlying issues that i am not in any way able to diagnose

So you sound like it bothers you, because you care about her. Sit with her and tell her that.
** One of the things that drives me to try and have patience with some of the girls that can drive you nuts is to 1st try and understand that there MAY be things going on and they can't talk to their parents and you may be someone if they trust they can confide in. Sometimes there are personal issues at home, that they bring to the field. Often times its a parent/family issue and if we get on them hard, we could be making the situation for ourselves easier, but worse for the girl. I found that although it may be hard to understand girls at any age, it's harder at the 12-15 year mark.
--IF she were not at the field with you, where would she be and what would she be doing? Tough situation, so try and as best you can to continue to be there for her, but don't accept the attitude, just try and keep teaching her HOW to deal with adversity.
Almost had a girl go home the other night (16 year old), came with an attitude after missing a few practices for "Field Hockey camps". She didn't try hard and wouldn't respond to coaching. (She was in a group working OF drills.) Sent the girls for water and talked with her. She had a flat tire enroute, father let her drive his truck only after unloading it, made her clean it when she got home and she was stressing not to be late. Thank goodness I didn't send her home, as I would have just made her trust in me dive and she would have had MORE problems to deal with, vice having a chance to learn and provide the opportunity to talk with all the girls about "Leaving your baggage at the gate" and letting Softball be a STRESS RELIEF.

 

[jimginas]

one last thought.. I believe all coaches agree.... failing WILL happen in Softball and ALL sports, same as many things we try. She can learn from her failures IF she has the maturity to maintain composure to give herself a chance to understand what didn't work and why, then learn and keep getting better. THAT should be her goal, getting BETTER.
Marc Dagenais recent post about Mental Toughness tips include this below:

#3 - Accept the fact that you will fail, make a lot of mistakes and learn from them. Failing is a big part of the game. If you succeed only 30% of the time at the plate,
it's excellent. That means that you will be failing more often than you succeed. Failing is part of life and sport in general. You actually learn more by failing than by succeeding. The key point is to look at mistakes and failures as learning opportunities. Ask yourself: "What didn't go well and how can I do things differently next time to be
successful?"

 

[jimginas]

Good article by Cindy Bristow talks SPECIFICALLY to this topic:

Softball Excellence

 

[llabtfos]

thanks again-will check it out