What is going on here? DIII daughter's heart is breaking

[SoCalASABlue]

That's why you ask "what can I do to improve". I never cared if anyone came to me and asked about where they could play, could they play more, etc. as long as it was respectful, sincere and not a constant irritant.

But you can ask any kid that has every played for me the question and I promise you everyone will answer the exact same way. What position did you play on Coach Carter's team..."wherever coach said" period end of statement, because I drilled it into their heads.

I am not afraid of explaining myself to a player or parent (up to about 14U) for that matter before hand, "this is what I look for, this is how I balance my lineup, etc....granted as a coach don't have to and if you ask me one too many times or with a bad attitude I made just tell you "pound sand, if you don't like it find another team" but once I post the lineup you don't get to ask any questions or whine or complain or do anything but go out there and play ball.

Sorry - I wasn't clear - according to DD the coach made it clear that any way the question would be posed (positively or negatively), it would not be welcome or discussed further. I agree wholeheartedly with you that such a question should not only be welcomed but seen as a positive sign.

 

[marriard]

Yep - both my girls say "wherever you need me coach". When my 13 year old was asked, I think the coach was looking for something a little more specific .

Taught mine to say "I am best at P and 2B but I will play anywhere you need me."

 

[sluggers]

My DD#3 went through this with hoops.

Your DD has to do is embarrass the coach into playing her. She has to be better than every girl on the team. She has to bury her competition.

 

[redbirdone]

Sorry - I wasn't clear - according to DD the coach made it clear that any way the question would be posed (positively or negatively), it would not be welcome or discussed further. I agree wholeheartedly with you that such a question should not only be welcomed but seen as a positive sign.

There's a difference between "please please please, I want to play," and "what can I focus on to help me improve as a player, and more importantly, contribute to the team." I'm still not sure from your post if the later would result in banishment/punishment/etc. If so, that is not a coach I ever want my kids playing for.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Kids who play travel sports are often not prepared when they get to college. I am not talking about skills. I am talking about waiting your turn, taking advantage of your opportunities when you play, and earning playing time. Most kids play on TB trams where they are guaranteed to play. Small rosters do not foster competition. They switch teams when they (and the parents) feel that they are not getting enough playing time. In HS, they are usually the better players.

Once they get to college, all that changes. The coaches have more experienced players, and freshman might not get a chance to play right away, especially in league or conference games. It's just the way it is. You don't gain the coaches trust by being as good as the other players. You gain their trust by being MUCH BETTER THAN the other players. It is difficult to take the starting job away from an upperclassman in college unless you are indeed MUCH better and the coaches see that. AS GOOD AS does not cut it.

Look at the rosters of many college softball teams. The attrition rate is significant, and so is the transfer rate. Many TB programs post how many kids they've had recruited to college programs, but the best measure of well they have prepared their players is how many have had players play all FOUR years of college ball. There is a weeding out process of the players who are not prepared to outwork their peers. The same thing happens in chemistry, engineering, and among the pre-meds in college.