tough situation

[huskyfan]

I'm coaching a rec team of 3-4th graders- (a few of them have never played softball before which gives you an idea of skill level)- All fine and good since it's a Rec league and we are not even having playoffs. My focus has been just making the girls better players and having some fun. I can tell a lot of them may not play seriously as they get older. Issue is- I'm co-coaching with a friend- We were friends before the team began- he is ultra competitive and gets very frustrated with the girls- I more or less said after a few games that we need to be patient and these girls will not become overnight stars much less play any kind of competitive ball later on- Last few games he is barking at the girls and I'm seeing it as counter-productive- My style is very positive and encouraging which has always worked well in the past and I've had good results.
So the dilemma: Do I let it go and avoid any type of hard feelings or say something? I'm just not sure how to communicate- I don't want it to get to the point where a parent has an issue....

 

[starsnuffer]

Give him 30 dollars and have him sign up for ASA's ACE certification program. While it's a bit cheesy, there's some good advice there on responsible coaching for girls playing rec sports. That way he's not hearing it from just you.

-W

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Video something and make certain, that he is able to hear himself. 10-1, he is just imitating a coach from his past and he doesn't know any better.

 

[huskyfan]

Thats exactly what I think- I don't think he knows he does it.... but I've watched. Most likely I'm going to have to say something- if for no other reason then the 2 contrasts in coaching styles is confusing to the girls....

 

[D.G. OutLaws 16u]

New inexperienced coaches all to often react in this "Bobby Knight' way of coaching. Its horrible. Starsnurfers spot on with certifying in some coaching program. Im on the Park Dist Board. !st thing (after background check) for all new coaches is ASEP certification that we pay for. Also we have a manditory coaches clinic prior to 1st practices. We then evaluate and monitor !st time coaches at practices and games.
Call your Park Dist right now and get them up to speed with whats going on!! Hopefully they have a policy to put into play. Its not your job to fix. Best if you jumped on this before parents jump in....you don't want to be "guilty by association" because of this guy. Remember rec ball is all about pleasing the parents

 

[Carty]

Huskyfan, you are in a tough spot. Hope your friendship is a strong one. I think you should talk, but away from the field, team, people. A coaches meeting if you will. I have several , preseason, during, post, so we keep our focus. In our coaches meetings, the approach we take to coaching is always discussed so we can try to stay aligned. Since you are in season, start with where the team is right now. What is going well, what needs improvement (not what is bad). For the good, look at how the team accomplished this, and how you as coaches helped them accomplish it. For improvement , do the same. The difference here is to put emphasis on how you as coaches need to find a way to make the improvements. That sets up your coaching as a team part of the talk. If you set it up carefully, you should be able to talk on BOTH of your strong points and BOTH of your weaker ares. You wont put your friend on the defensive this way (hopefully) and accomplish what you need. Work hard, enjoy the time, ice cream is always good - win or lose. Good luck

 

[sluggers]

Do I let it go and avoid any type of hard feelings or say something?

No, you don't let it go. You've agreed to coach. Your responsibility is to the girls first, and your friend second.

I'm sure the guy has the best of intentions, but you've got to change his frame of reference. One way is by way of humor. Start going out for a beer after the game, and have a good laugh about the game. Coaching with a good friend can be fun, but you and he need to get on the same page.

 

[rowdy]

Your first responsibility is to give the girls a safe place to learn the game. You goal in rec should be to cultivate the love of the game and have everyone of your girls sign up to play again next year. Still teach them, but make sure it is fun!