To coach or not to coach

[Coach JV]

For the first time in years I am not inn the field with a TB
team in any way shape or form. I will occasionally do the book
but that is the extent of it. Now, DD is on a team where she likes
the coach. He is a very good coach but lacks motivational skills and
several parents are unhappy. There is a core of girls/parents who are
planning on leaving after the summer to form a new team and they
have approached me about coaching the team pin the fall and
next summer. I have been noncommittal to this point.

Now a situation has arisen and the pressure is being turned up. The team
is playing pretty well but has played 7 straight weeks with a breather scheduled
for this coming weekend. Last night the coach texted the team parents explaining
that he would like to play in a 2-day round robin this weekend. I was inundated
with phone calls and the message was that coach does not have the pulse of the team
and seven would like to jump ship August 1st. One parent explained to me that the girls
who have played for me in the past still look to me for guidance and confidence and miss
having my presence inside the fences. These are a great group of girls who are not
playing to their full potential. I am entertaining the thought but would prefer to be
AC rather than HC. Any suggestions? I am at a cross roads, part of me wants to jump in
with both feet, part wants to stay away completely, and the 3rd part wants the AC only.

My history? 5 of the past 6 years I have been HC of travel teams, most with my DD on these teams.
We built a solid product but I stepped out as DD was asked to play in a different organization
with no dads as coach.

 

[TNTCoach]

This has nothing to do with you, but I hate these little coups that happen in travel ball. The parents are complaining that the coach has lost the pulse of the team yet they are texting and calling you instead of the coach. It would seem to me that these parents would better serve themselves if they had the guts to approach the coach with their discontent rather than undermine him/her during the season. Hopefully you aren't lending tacit approval by not discouraging this behavior. It's nature of the beast I suppose but that doesn't make it right.

Whenever I'm approached during the season by parents from other teams who want to bring their kids to my team I always say the same thing...I don't discuss these issues until the season has ended for both my team and your daughters.

 

[CoachKevin]

I agree with TNT. So how is the HC supposed to know how the parents are feeling if they don't communicate with him/her?

 

[Atlantabell]

I agree with TNT. Unwittingly, you are feeding into this group of parents being sneaky and underhanded about the coach. You should tell them to call the coach and talk to him about it. It's not fair to him for them to act this way. If they are that upset, he has a right to know and be allowed to try to address the situation.

I am surprised that, as a former coach, you have not already told them to do this. I know it is flattering for people to approach you and ask you to coach next year, but you should ask yourself, " What will these people do NEXT year when they have a problem with me?" Because if you coach people will have problems with you. With this group of parents and the way they act, you better watch your back.

 

[redhotcoach]

1st piece of advice. Don't listen to parents, they/we are all crazy, everyone.

I wouldn't step into this team, if the parents aren't happy, they can deal with it. If the players aren't happy, they can learn to find their happiness another way other then depending on coach to give it. That's life, take a survey, how many are absolutely happy with their boss. Parents get power hungry and what they think is helping their kid, hurts them in the long run.

 

[Coach JV]

I have been noncommittal to this point.

TNT and all; thanks for the feedback. Spending so many seasons inside the fence
is the reason I am noncommittal. I have made the commitment for summer ball and
keep telling parents that my DD is happy, if she is happy, I am fine. I will address after
summer season has ended and everyone involved has had a couple weeks off. I do
not know what the next step will bring. Current coach told the parents to speak to him directly,
I respect that and I do, perhaps this is the reason I do not have a problem.

We had practice last night and I have decided to be polite but not mix with the overthrow committee
in any way shape or form. The problem is, during games, I try to sit along the OF fence for
solitude and a piece of mind. This seems to be a mutiny squad magnet. I am seriously contemplating
approaching HC and assisting him in the fall. Last week there were a few girls in tears citing lost
confidence. Coach had a bad day, my DD was unhappy but unleashed her fury with the bat
stroking 2 doubles to the gap in her last 2 AB.

I am going to remain in a holding pattern for 6 weeks and see what happens

 

[David Carter]

Biggest thing in my book is always playing out your commitment unless something really crazy happen, this sound like normal complaining.

If the team seems to be functioning well except for parents complaining maybe you can get the best of both worlds and keep the team together and get to be the AC and provide that little bit extra they need to play to their full potential.

What is your relationship with the coach? Sounds like you are OK with how he is running the team, are you upset about the impromptu tournament request?

As always there are lots of moving parts so it is hard to give much concrete advice.

 

[chinamigarden]

TNT and all; thanks for the feedback. Spending so many seasons inside the fence
is the reason I am noncommittal. I have made the commitment for summer ball and
keep telling parents that my DD is happy, if she is happy, I am fine. I will address after
summer season has ended and everyone involved has had a couple weeks off. I do
not know what the next step will bring. Current coach told the parents to speak to him directly,
I respect that and I do, perhaps this is the reason I do not have a problem.

We had practice last night and I have decided to be polite but not mix with the overthrow committee
in any way shape or form. The problem is, during games, I try to sit along the OF fence for
solitude and a piece of mind. This seems to be a mutiny squad magnet. I am seriously contemplating
approaching HC and assisting him in the fall. Last week there were a few girls in tears citing lost
confidence. Coach had a bad day, my DD was unhappy but unleashed her fury with the bat
stroking 2 doubles to the gap in her last 2 AB.

I am going to remain in a holding pattern for 6 weeks and see what happens

These people are blackmailing you. They are using your dds happiness as a chip against you. "Sure she is happy now, but how happy will she be when half the team leaves, you have to do something or we will have to leave and your dd will no longer be happy."

If you take over a team with this group of parents, how long will it be until you "don't have the pulse" of the team.

I was the coach in one of these scenarios and after I stepped down, for my dd's happiness, it didn't end there. By the next season the same parents were asking me about the current coach's decision. Hoping I would join in to trash him. Nope, I just told them if they have a problem they should go to the coach and leave me out of it.

 

[Coach JV]

Carter- I am fine with the coach, he is a little up and down and
leaves me scratching my head with some poor decision making.
i.e. We are down 1 run with a runner on 2B 1 out, #4 batter steps into the box
who has been mashing the ball all weekend, she is amongst the slowest on the
team, he has her try to bunt, bunt pop out to 3B, rally erased, we lose by 1.
Impromptu tourney was a little much but my dd would play every week when
given the chance.

CHINA: I see the blackmail, I have coached a handful of these girls and I am aware
of the trap. Funny thing is the biggest team jumper of all is content to stay. I am
big into loyalty thus the reason I am trying to avoid all talk of fall season until
summer is a wrap.

To all: This is no different than Mr. Obama. Some like him, some do not but he
is in charge and we need to remain loyal until elections......

 

[mosftballdad]

I am in a simialr position but with a couple of differences. I am an AC on the team and the other AC is the HC's daughter. The complaints from the parents are my complaints too. I have addressed them coming as a parent and also as a coach that has been approached. Most of the parents have approached the HC and they received the same answer I did....it just isn't a big deal to him. The issue is the team doesn't play when the AC plays ball. She still plays in college so our team takes a seat when she is playing. The team will only practice one day a week in the spring until she is done. He has also been asked for financials and won't send them out.

We are a mix of first and second yr 12u. At this point I will be taking the older girls and moving up regardless if the HC wants to move the team up or not. His way of dealing with things is to ignore them until they blow up. Our parents will not push it that far but will just move on and say thank you at the end of the year.