Time to move on?

[JustaQ]

A shadow here who finally popped up to ask a Q. DD has been on the same team for 3 years and though it's never been said, they are clearly "development focused" so coaches don't pull any struggling fielders or pitchers and only move the batting order around. We have 1 good pitcher, one particularly horrible baseman (that can't hit) but I guess they see something worth developing as she's on that base 95% of the time. Coaches are pros so it's not daddy ball keeping her on that base. Hitting is not great--less than half are reliable hitters and a couple girls don't even hit the interstate (our clean up hitter was 3-24 at one point last summer but never moved from the clean up spot). They don't play to win, our pitcher could be getting her bell rung but they leave her in. Other team starts trying to hit everything to the bad baseman, or force plays there, leave her in too.

DD is getting tired of it. She knows she only has a couple more years of play but I hate for her to be that team-hopper looking to upgrade but OTOH she'd like (and I'd like for her) to have ONE trophy to look back on. She's likely not college material but a good fielder and decent batter--during tryout season she tries out for all the local teams and all but one offers her a roster spot every summer. I guess I'm just looking to see what those in similar circumstances did. Did you have DD stick it out? Did you move and wish you didn't? Did you move and wonder why you didn't sooner?

 

[BT3100]

Gotta move to a team where your DD is middle of the pack talent wise. You can't be sure your DD isn't college ball material until you put her into a position where she is surrounded by skilled players who push her to get better.
Move!!

 

[Traps71]

I am not sure it matters that much given your post, but what age group is this? I can see prioritizing development over competing to win at younger ages. Little harder to see that at 14U+ unless the team is just a way for the girls to have fun (say, a local B club) and everyone is on the same page. There is nothing wrong with that. A totally valid reason to play the game.

This phrase is key: on the same page. I would suggest that your daughter needs to be a on a team where most or all of the girls share similar goals and have similar levels of ability. If divisions emerge based on ability and ambitions, this causes instability in the team. My DD switched travel teams (14U) in summer 2020 for these reasons. There were no hard feelings. The girls on the team, who had largely played together in 10U and 12U, just started to want different things out of the game, had varying levels of commitment to it, and the talent disparities were becoming greater. The head coach clearly was fine with just being a competitive local team at the B level. Nothing wrong with any of that, it just wasn’t what my DD wanted anymore so we moved on in as respectful and forthright a manner as we could. We were grateful to have been part of that team, just wasn’t the team for my DD any longer.

From the tone of your post, it sounds like for sure that you are ready to move. Perhaps your DD too. If she is ready to move, then move. Just be clear about what it is you want to move to and do your research. There is no perfect team and the grass is not always greener. However, you will never find the team you are looking for if you are not clear about what it is you are looking for.

 

[flash277]

A shadow here who finally popped up to ask a Q. DD has been on the same team for 3 years and though it's never been said, they are clearly "development focused" so coaches don't pull any struggling fielders or pitchers and only move the batting order around. We have 1 good pitcher, one particularly horrible baseman (that can't hit) but I guess they see something worth developing as she's on that base 95% of the time. Coaches are pros so it's not daddy ball keeping her on that base. Hitting is not great--less than half are reliable hitters and a couple girls don't even hit the interstate (our clean up hitter was 3-24 at one point last summer but never moved from the clean up spot). They don't play to win, our pitcher could be getting her bell rung but they leave her in. Other team starts trying to hit everything to the bad baseman, or force plays there, leave her in too.

DD is getting tired of it. She knows she only has a couple more years of play but I hate for her to be that team-hopper looking to upgrade but OTOH she'd like (and I'd like for her) to have ONE trophy to look back on. She's likely not college material but a good fielder and decent batter--during tryout season she tries out for all the local teams and all but one offers her a roster spot every summer. I guess I'm just looking to see what those in similar circumstances did. Did you have DD stick it out? Did you move and wish you didn't? Did you move and wonder why you didn't sooner?

What year is your DD now?......Regardless of that, MOVE!..... MY DD joined a team first year 14U which was bad, she stuck with that team for a 2nd year with the promise of a new coach and better pitching, neither panned out, they were both bad teams. She then joined a 16U team which was playing 18U the 2nd half of 1st year 16U. Way better to win then to lose with no hope in sight.
MY DD doesn't plan on playing in college, but if she's gonna play, she wants to play for a good team.

 

[Shiloh]

I am struggling to understand why your DD would want to stay on the team, based on your post.

Only one good pitcher.
Not good fielding.
Hitting not great.
Don’t play to win.
DD getting tired of it.

If she’s been there for 3 years and is only now looking to get off, she’s no team hopper....far from it.

Also, you might want to jump on those other local team invites before they get tired of you turning them down every year.

 

[YOCOACH]

There's a little known DFP rule of thumb. If you've taken the time to write between 300-1000 words on whether to leave a team or not, you've already made your decision and looking for validation. Just leave already since you know you need a better, more competitive atmosphere for your DD.

ETA: If a new team challenges her as much as she challenges herself, she very well may become "college material" as you put it.

 

[docnsx01]

agree with most comments mentioned, there is a small window to play as well as develop. to label your daughter "not college material" is unfair , depending on age of your daughter all kids develop at different levels and time. being in the proper environment could unleash inner drive and talent to try and play at any higher level she wants.. winning always help. being on a team that constantly not competing can affect all....has your daughter developed at all during this time with the so called professional coaches. is there true instruction and development during practices.. I have witnessed teams where the coach truly is better trainer than in game coach meaning the work in between games was more helpful than the actual games and the foundations she instilled in the kids helped to this day become the players are today.. in games line up was never the same (no rhyme to reason) girl 4/4 game before moved to bottom of lineup or even out of lineup, kids moving around position to position etc. never cut any kid in th e3 years we participated with them.. it was difficult decision to leave and socially was horrible for why kid but int he end the training foundation she instilled in. my kid was extremely helpful allowing her to achieve a higher level of play ever imagined.. but the inner rive and decision was my daughters to find team where she was helped accountable for training performance and commitment.. not sure if I helped or not .. but depending on age may want to stick out if training is making daughter better and you have time to assess this travel season .. we watched other organizations during the summer of us being on the fence ...sitting around other teams parents (we all like to talk) taking notes we then tried out for select teams we observed and ranked at end of season (wanted my daughter to learn to honor her commitment to team she made ) tried to teach lesson in all things we do. so in the end we didn't quit we just decided to find another team that suited her better ... unlike others who play one weekend then next weekend on another team... softball world real small especially where we live.. in the end you have to do what is nest for your child... good luck... fyi the travel coach we left after 3 plus years after wee left and little bump in road agreed to continue to train my daughter defensively privately to achieve her dream of playing in college ... dream achieved ... and has a relationship now with that coach as a contemporary and not coach and player anymore.. life long realtionship that will continue for years created on a mutual respect they obtained for each other ... not easy but in the end worth it

 

[Shiloh]

There's a little known DFP rule of thumb. If you've taken the time to write between 300-1000 words on whether to leave a team or not, you've already made your decision and looking for validation. Just leave already since you know you need a better, more competitive atmosphere for your DD.

Yep!

I think the rule goes something like:

the number of words used to describe the current situation is inversely proportional to the tendency to stay.

 

[Shiloh]

If a new team challenges her as much as she challenges herself, she very well may become "college material" as you put it.

And don’t sell your DD short - there’s a place on a college team for almost anyone who is a capable club player. Sounds like she is right there.

 

[Strike2]

And don’t sell your DD short - there’s a place on a college team for almost anyone who is a capable club player. Sounds like she is right there.

Totally agree with this. If your kid can play effectively at 18U, she can play at a JUCO or NAIA school. I know several very average players who are playing on a JUCO roster right now, or headed that way.