Thinking about having my quit for a while...

[sluggers]

Up until about 12YOA, kids (boys and girls) play sports to be part of a team. They make friends and have a good time being with other kids. Some kids are real competitive with softball, others aren't.

Around 13YOA, the kids start deciding what they really want to do. A lot of kids quit sports...a lot of girls quit playing softball. I love softball, but lots of people do not.

IMHO, your DD enjoys being part of the team, but really doesn't like playing the game...and, she'll most likely quit when she has to go to 14U.

My advice is to introduce her to other sports and activities--drama, music, soccer, basketball, etc. See what she likes, and then let her do what she wants to do.

 

[Elk Grove Hurricane]

For YEARS, I had a tee in the backyard, bats and balls (whiffles due to potential window damage. ) nearby, and a standing invitation that I reminded my oldest DD of every week that I would play with her whenever she wanted. She isn't travel ball material yet, and frankly may never be, but still I thought maybe she'll pick this up. Instead, she walked past all of the equipment to swing, stayed inside to play with whatever electronic device she could find, or just watch TV. When I finally would drag her out, her effort wasn't there, focus wasn't there, and I would end up arguing with her, which would piss her off to the point where she wouldn't even try. Yet she still wanted to play on a team. Finally last spring she started showing more interest, asking me to play catch with her, hit occasionally, and when I asked if she wanted to attend a camp, she gladly agreed. She struggled in the fall on a good rec team and didn't play that much, but this challenged her pride and she wanted lessons. Flash forward a few months, and after several good hitting lessons, she also wants to play catch and work on her defense several times per week. The lesson? I really don't know, but it does seem that until she wanted "it," my effort and my desire for her wasn't going to make it happen. But I never gave up on her either, and kept pushing, maybe too hard at times. I don't know if any of this helps, but remember you can influence them even if you don't see success early.

 

[Huskerdu]

My oldest is the same (almost 14). She loves hitting. Loves throwing. Loves conditioning. BUT she wouldn't do any of them if they were not scheduled. Her trainer is out of town and she had been working super hard with him, so I thought I would give her a break hitting (and to see if she does anything on her own). Yesterday she laid in bed watching netflix all day...and I think she is hoping to do the same today. Maybe it's the age, or a first born thing.

Now my 11 year old (the soccer girl) will go work out with a trainer, then come home and do an insanity dvd...everyday.

I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to read this post. My DD is 14 and our ace pitcher, 5-hole hitter with 3hr etc., and she is starting to realize that if she doesn't pick up some power and speed on her fastball and footspeed, the game is going to leave her behind. Her room, her clothes, her walk, her talk, everything she does is softball, and #25 on everything that has her name, yet I am the one who has to push and push to get things started. Once she starts going, things are great, but man, she is harder to start than my dad's 14 year old lawnmower...

 

[Eric F]

Recently, I started writing some notes for myself about things I wanted to share with my DD's 10U all-star team about work ethic. I might have gotten a bit carried away for the target audience. Here's a couple pieces of it...

Some people are happy with being “good enough”. For many young softball players, putting on the same jersey as their friends, and having fun in the dugout together is enough for them.

You aren’t those players.

I’ve seen your love of the game. I’ve seen your determination to succeed. I’ve seen your desire to play your best. That love, determination, and desire comes from inside each of you, and it’s the drive that keeps you wanting to become a better player.

What makes the difference between a good player and great player? A good player is good at one thing – a good pitcher, or a good hitter, or a good shortstop. A great player is good at LOTS of things.

We all like doing the things we’re good at, right? Those things are usually the most fun because we enjoy being successful. But, what does it take to become a great player? It takes working hard at getting better. Not just on the things you like doing, but also on the things you don’t like doing, and especially the things that are the most challenging for you. Not only does a great player work on the difficult things, but those are the things that they work on the most. Just as important as building your strengths is eliminating your weaknesses.

As you look around at the other players on the field – on our bench or the opponent’s bench – you see some that you think might be better than you. A few might be truly outstanding. Those players didn’t get that way overnight. They didn’t wake up one morning, decide to play softball, and instantly become amazing. Every single one of them has worked hard for their skills. The best players are the ones that work harder - with more focus and more determination - than everyone else. Some may have gotten to the all-star level faster than others based on their natural athleticism, but this is the level where the difference between players is measured by their own hard work.

When your coach asks you to do a drill during practice, and you don’t give it your best effort and complete focus, who are you cheating? When you take a shortcut, don’t jump as high as you can, or don’t run full speed, who isn’t improving as fast as they could be? Every workout, every drill, and every game is a small step towards becoming a better player – if you give it your full effort. Every time you push your body to do a little more than it is comfortable doing, it gets a little stronger or a little faster. As your body gains strength, gains speed, and develops better skills, you gain an improved ability to make the plays that can change a game. Because you worked hard at improving your footwork, a ground ball that was out of your reach a month ago is now in your glove for the out that saves the game. Because you worked hard at improving your lead-off timing and speed, your new ability to explode away from third base gives you the advantage you need to score the run that wins the Championship. The next time you don’t feel like giving your very best effort, ask yourself who you’re cheating by giving less effort. It’s not your coach. It’s yourself…and your teammates.

To be great, YOU have to want more. YOU have to want to be the best player you can be. YOU have to be willing to do what it takes to get everything you want from the game. Being great isn’t something your coaches or parents can give you. They can help guide the way, but YOU are the one who has to make it happen.

It’s up to you to be great. If you want it, it’s there for you.

 

[softballphreak]

So here is the situation. . My daughter 10u says she loves to "play" softball, but I think she likes having the cool bag, uniform, etc, but she seems to not to put forth the effort.. we want to make sure she really likes to play, and we compliment her when doing good, but we shouldn't have to make her try hard every time.. she can be really good when she tries.. but effort is not there until we bring it out in her. So when we ask her maybe it's time to quit she cries and gets upset. We just want her to find something she likes to do.. she says softball is it, but without effort on her own, it just seems like maybe it's not for her. I know she is still very young. .. just wanted to hear some thoughts on the subject..

Thanks guys

As far as softball, take her to some higher level tournaments. Maybe a baseball game, a school tournament. Maybe she'll be motivated by some hotshot batter or fielder.

Whatever you do, make sure to keep it fun. If you're thinking scholarship already you're on the wrong track. You can probably send her to college for the same amount of money you'll blow over the next 10 years on softball.

 

[Coach Pounders]

WoW,
sounds just like my 9 year old. I brought up this same exact scenerio to my friend thats a former player at UV and she is now a college coach. She told me she was actually like that at a young age (and her father agreed) until something actually snapped in her and her desire just took off. At age 10 her dad didnt even know if she would stick with it and she ended up a Div 1 player.
Im gathering this is a social event for them, not all girls develop at same age so hang in there, thats all you can do. Thats what im doing too. Im hoping she sticks it out to find out but can't force her to where she ends up hating it
Good luck

Coach P

 

[catmaster]

I'm in the same boat right now. DD's really good when she wants to be. Its just a lot of the time she just don't want to be. She says she likes softball and wants to play. I guess I will just feeding her the fundamentals and hopefully everything else will click.

 

[riseball]

I'm in the same boat right now. DD's really good when she wants to be. Its just a lot of the time she just don't want to be. She says she likes softball and wants to play. I guess I will just feeding her the fundamentals and hopefully everything else will click.

Had the same issue years ago with my DD when she was in last season of 14U. Threw her in over her head on a very strong 18U team. She flourished. Found out that she was not being challenged and only turned it on when she felt like it. With the 18U team she always had to bring her A game. Not saying that is the right path for your DD but it will not hurt to have her workout in some other environments and just see what happens. From what I have seen most players really do not show true competitiveness until they get to 16U/18U where is get both serious and personal.

 

[canyonjoe]

Last year my DD who just turned 13 last month wanted to go and hit every night and couldn't wait to practice. This year she played on a new team and it' just turned off. I don't know if she had a hard time going from being one of the top 4 to just a middle player on a new team or if it's just getting older,etc. It was hard to get her to even go to the scheduled practices. Once there she would give it 110 percent, but it was a struggle. She decided after the summer she didn't want to go back to that team and said she wanted to stop playing. She eventually agreed to at least play on a rec team for the fall. It took about 2 practices with the new team and she was back to last year and wants to leave early for every practice and hit. Last Friday she sprained her wrist and had to miss a game this week. She was so upset about not playing. After all that happened I think she realized how much she loves playing the game.

 

[ArkFastpitch]

DD has played TB since 8u. Last spring we decided to let her play with a rec team during the week and play TB on the weekends. It was like watching 2 different players. On her rec team she was far and above anyone else on the team but she showed no interest and no drive. Her pitching was horrible and batting was worse than horrible. However when she played tourney ball with her travel team on the weekends she was aggressive with her pitching. Hitting vastly improved as did her overall demeanor.

I asked her if she noticed a difference in her level of play. She told me that felt like everyone expected her to carry the rec team and if they lost or made a mistake, it was somehow her fault. She said she just wanted to blend in and play at their level. I told her that she could really shine during those rec games and look like a superstar. She said she would rather her whole team shine than just her.

I guess you never know what motivates a kid or when it will kick in. I am learning to stay out of the way and just let her find her own path.