Sportsmanship....is it gone?

[quincy]

Quick Story:

Wednesday. My DD is playing basketball, unlike softball the parents on the different teams get mixed up together a little bit in the stands. The other Team made a good shot so I was clapping, person in front of me turned around:

Person: I have not seen you at practice before, what # is your daughter.
Me: She is #11.
Person: I do not see#11
Me: She is the point guard; she is dribbling the ball up now
Person: The other Team has the ball
Me: Yes, that is my DD
Person: Why were you clapping when we made a basket?
Me: Because it was a good play

They gave me a funny look and ignored me the rest of the game.

 

[coachtucc]

The problem with even discussing this with an umpire is that you, as a coach, are implying to your team that the umpire is the reason she struck out. This indicates to the girls that they are not in control of their destiny, but rather that someone else is.

Sorry...think we will agree to disagree on this one but that's ok??

 

[chinamigarden]

Quick Story:

Wednesday. My DD is playing basketball, unlike softball the parents on the different teams get mixed up together a little bit in the stands. The other Team made a good shot so I was clapping, person in front of me turned around:

Person: I have not seen you at practice before, what # is your daughter.
Me: She is #11.
Person: I do not see#11
Me: She is the point guard; she is dribbling the ball up now
Person: The other Team has the ball
Me: Yes, that is my DD
Person: Why were you clapping when we made a basket?
Me: Because it was a good play

They gave me a funny look and ignored me the rest of the game.

Happens all the time when I am behind the backstop and I say "nice block catcher" or "nice throw" The other parents from my team have gotten used to it and just accept it, the other team is never sure how to react.

 

[MTR]

It sounds like sportsmanship may be lacking a little on both teams from the first post.

I had the same thought when I read this sentence, "So he grabbed their coach by the sleeve and said "I said good game and good luck in the championship, did you hear me?".

Just because the other team displays their lack of class is no excuse to drop to their level.

BTW, anytime someone starts a comment which includes the words "heat of the game", I just cringe. To me, there is no excuse for being an idiot.

 

[mkral]

Softballphreak and MTR - Let me make one thing crystal clear....our base coach simply grabbed his sleeve, he did not pull it, he did not yank on it. He simply got the other coaches attention. Two other teams coaches watched this game and saw it from start to finish. Both commended our coaching staff on how calm they remained and how they conducted themselves as well as how well our players conducted themselves. I tried to tell the whole story and it would have been easy to leave that out as I figured some would come back with comments like this. I really don't see what our base coach did as being unsportsmanlike. But again that is just my opinion.

 

[tmolina]

I witnessed an act of good sportsmanship in the shadow of poor sportsmanship by a irate parent. One parent going way over board yelling at own DD's coach because he took her out of a game during normal rotation. Coach was in dugout on third base side. Our coach was coaching third base and this was taking place while game was in progress. The irate parent challenged his DD's coach to come out of the dugout and fight....Coach blew him off several times but could only take so much and was about to come out of dugout. Third base coach from other team blocked the gate and told head coach he wouldn't let him out because we are here for the girls and no to go down to that guys level...the coach in the dugout thought about it and siad your right, stayed in there...Irate parent called own DD out of dugout and proceded to argue with own teams parents and then they left. It could of ended real bad...Hats off to third base coach for diffusing situation on field...

 

[BretMan]

Here's a little bit different view from the other side of the fence...

While I don't doubt that things like in the first post happen, my experience is that they happen infrequently. I umpire in excess of 100 games each year, a mix of high school baseball and softball, local recreational leagues and tournament travel ball. In all those games, I had one player ejection for unsportsmanlike conduct. I believe that I issued one warning to a player who got a little mouthy with an opponent. Besides that, no particular action by any player sticks out in my mind as having been especially unsportsmanlike.

Hardly what I would call "the death of good sportsmanship".

Yes, I can remember a small handful of coaches that may have pushed the boundaries in arguing a call. But none that went so far as to get themselves tossed from a game.

I did have a couple of incidents where a parent acosted me after a game, convinced that the umpires had somehow "cheated" their precious little ones out a well-deserved victory. Again, nothing that got to the point where I couldn't handle it myself or actually felt threatened.

The vast majority of games I observed went smoothly and were trouble-free. The small number of isolated incidents I did see seemed to be about on par with what I've seen for years, not some growing trend toward an outbreak of unsporting behavior- and certainly nothing worse than what I saw back when I played youth baseball forty years ago!

 

[alexander58]

Here's a little bit different view from the other side of the fence...

While I don't doubt that things like in the first post happen, my experience is that they happen infrequently. I umpire in excess of 100 games each year, a mix of high school baseball and softball, local recreational leagues and tournament travel ball. In all those games, I had one player ejection for unsportsmanlike conduct. I believe that I issued one warning to a player who got a little mouthy with an opponent. Besides that, no particular action by any player sticks out in my mind as having been especially unsportsmanlike.

Hardly what I would call "the death of good sportsmanship".

Yes, I can remember a small handful of coaches that may have pushed the boundaries in arguing a call. But none that went so far as to get themselves tossed from a game.

I did have a couple of incidents where a parent acosted me after a game, convinced that the umpires had somehow "cheated" their precious little ones out a well-deserved victory. Again, nothing that got to the point where I couldn't handle it myself or actually felt threatened.

The vast majority of games I observed went smoothly and were trouble-free. The small number of isolated incidents I did see seemed to be about on par with what I've seen for years, not some growing trend toward an outbreak of unsporting behavior- and certainly nothing worse than what I saw back when I played youth baseball forty years ago!

I'm sure you are right when you say the unsportsmanlike acts are infrequent. It's just that the really bad ones are the ones we remember. We played in a national tournament a couple of years ago. The coach of the other team argued every close call very loudly. His fans and parents were as loud and obnoxious as the coach. We beat them in a close game. After the game our team was heading toward the parking lot. We happened to pass their team during a postgame chat. Right when we were passing, one of their coaches told their kids "you just got beat by a team with no talent". They were back at the nationals this year and behaved in the same boorish way. Are they the exception? Of course. Maybe they make you appreciate those who "do it the right way" a little more.

 

[MTR]

Softballphreak and MTR - Let me make one thing crystal clear....our base coach simply grabbed his sleeve, he did not pull it, he did not yank on it. He simply got the other coaches attention. Two other teams coaches watched this game and saw it from start to finish. Both commended our coaching staff on how calm they remained and how they conducted themselves as well as how well our players conducted themselves. I tried to tell the whole story and it would have been easy to leave that out as I figured some would come back with comments like this. I really don't see what our base coach did as being unsportsmanlike. But again that is just my opinion.

Okay, let me make this clear. You don't touch or confront anyone else, period. Don't care what the intention was, not everyone has your view of it or, for that matter, same opinion. Just like a field, not everyone views everything from the same perspective.

Like it or not, and I assume you aren't going to like anything that doesn't fall in line with your view, there is no excuse for touching another player/coach. There is no reason to confront another especially when there is absolutely nothing good that could come from it.

Just as it has been mentioned in this thread, the impressions of a negative are more noticable and lasting. The quickest way to divert a negative view of anything is to lower oneself to the same or worse level of conduct as the initial perpetrator.

I don't buy into that, but it is not my perception that needs to be satisfied.

 

[softballphreak]

Softballphreak and MTR - Let me make one thing crystal clear....our base coach simply grabbed his sleeve, he did not pull it, he did not yank on it. He simply got the other coaches attention. Two other teams coaches watched this game and saw it from start to finish. Both commended our coaching staff on how calm they remained and how they conducted themselves as well as how well our players conducted themselves. I tried to tell the whole story and it would have been easy to leave that out as I figured some would come back with comments like this. I really don't see what our base coach did as being unsportsmanlike. But again that is just my opinion.

So when their player collided with your DD trying to get out of a pickle it was bad sportsmanship? But when your DD collided with their player at 1st it was coincidental contact?

I'm assuming you are a good parent who loves to watch your DD play and I believe you are aware that collisions, etc., are part of the game. I believe you know that your DD would not hurt anyone intentionally. What's missing IMO is the benefit of doubt for the other team's kids.

I'm almost positive that if given the opportunity you would find out that the other 12-year-old is just like your 12-year-old. When my DD thought she didn't like someone's attitude on the other team I used to remind her that the other player might later be her friend as a teammate in another sport. It happened more than once over the years.

Almost every time I've seen poor sportsmanship it was by an adult. Don't judge kids negatively, they're not who they seem to be. Because they aren't who they are, yet.

MTR's posts sum it up--it's one's perception.