Should goal be college?

[JudeDaRude]

I have made the comment that I’m working on trying to get my girls to college and have had comments that I shouldn’t be thinking about that. So with that said, should a parent/coach be thinking of college? I dream big,think big and have seen in my life how I can have a lot of control over what I do. So I believe the same for my kids. They are athletic and smart and seem to have other talents that fall in line with softball skills. They are only 9 and 10 but unless there comes a day that I realize they are not ahead of others, I feel I should think of college. I understand that if a girl simply does not have talent, then yeah maybe not but I believe in dreaming big and I’m sure most that have succeeded would say the same. And yes it has to be their dream and at this point they do love it and want to play as long as they can. I’m not just asking specifically for my girls, but would like to know everyone’s opinion on when is the appropriate time for people to start thinking college.

 

[Greatdaytobeawildcat]

Whether her goal (or yours) was ultimately to play softball in college, or say...to be the best 9 year old softball player she could be - what would change? Would she/you do something differently?

I think it's great to have big long term goals. When I was 9 (like every 9 year old baseball player) I wanted to be a major leaguer.

Probably more important to have shorter term, process goals.

 

[Orange Socks]

Sure. The ultimate goal can be playing college ball, but you have to take it year to year. I know LOTS of kids that were better than my DD when she 9 who I thought would be super stars. Those kids stopped playing altogether and my kid got better, stuck with it and WILL be playing in college starting this fall. During the process we weren't focused on college until 14U.

 

[Long Baller]

At her age, I would just focus on having her go out and play the game that she loves. Let what happens, happen. See how she feels at 12U-14U and go from there.

 

[FP26]

I have made the comment that I’m working on trying to get my girls to college and have had comments that I shouldn’t be thinking about that. So with that said, should a parent/coach be thinking of college? I dream big,think big and have seen in my life how I can have a lot of control over what I do. So I believe the same for my kids. They are athletic and smart and seem to have other talents that fall in line with softball skills. They are only 9 and 10 but unless there comes a day that I realize they are not ahead of others, I feel I should think of college. I understand that if a girl simply does not have talent, then yeah maybe not but I believe in dreaming big and I’m sure most that have succeeded would say the same. And yes it has to be their dream and at this point they do love it and want to play as long as they can. I’m not just asking specifically for my girls, but would like to know everyone’s opinion on when is the appropriate time for people to start thinking college.

Bold above is the most important part of the equation, IMO. You mention that they are currently ahead of others, so my focus would be to help them stay ahead. A lot of that will depend on the section of the country you live. Is the local rec softball program a positive and learning environment for them? If not, then travel ball is definitely the way to go. My DD didn't move to travel ball until she was 12. In rec, she was consistently one of the top players not only on her team, but the local league. When she did finally move to travel, she was still above average, but noticed a significant jump in the level of the competition.

It sounds like you work with them yourself, which is great. But also know your limitations. My focus has always been hitting, so I work with my DD on that. She had a "rebellious" stage from 13 to 15 at which point I was taking her to a different hitting instructor. But by the time she reached 16 she realized that this other instructor was just telling her all the same things I had been telling her all along. Meanwhile, I have taken her to a pitching instructor nearly her entire career. I know some things about pitching, and have learned more over the years, but my knowledge pales in comparison with her instructor's. I know my limitations... So while I will catch for her and occasionally mention something that I see, the instruction is all his.

In regards to the college goal, in my opinion you really need to start thinking about that between the ages of 13 and 15. It's at that point that the travel team you are on could start becoming important. I'm not a believer that you have to be part of the "Super Elite Golden Aces", but there are a lot of different types of travel teams out there and many have different goals. DD's initial goal was to become a starter on her high school team as quickly as possible. In 12u and 14u that was really her goal. It wasn't until she was about 14 years old that she really started thinking about playing in college. So 16u became about playing at showcases and participating in clinics at her favorite schools. She switched teams at that point to join a group of players with similar goals. Her first travel team was a great experience and she loved her teammates, but most didn't have college softball as a goal.

 

[OK04dad]

Our son received great advice from his HS football coach - "If you are going to play in college, you have to love the sport." He no longer played with his lifelong friends, went through multiple position coach changes, basically new team rosters every year and all of the time challenges to play in college. However, overall he had a great time because he loved playing football. With our youngest, we have done our best to keep softball fun and enjoyable while keeping the challenge to continually improve in front of her. Having college ball as a future dream is great, but I would keep the focus on enjoying the game. Our goal with all 3 of our children has been to prepare them to have as great an experience they can have through high school and if college ball presents itself then so be it. It's probably not the way for everyone, but it has worked for us.

 

[uncdrew]

Life is about enjoying life. Those who enjoy life have won.

The kids with smiles and cheers and exuberant joy on the field are the winners. Some go on to play college. Some don't. But they all are the winners.

That girl on the end of the bench, dad riding her hard, grumbling about the loss, mad about an error by a teammate. Yuck.

The goal should be enjoying life.

 

[marriard]

I have made the comment that I’m working on trying to get my girls to college and have had comments that I shouldn’t be thinking about that. So with that said, should a parent/coach be thinking of college? I dream big,think big and have seen in my life how I can have a lot of control over what I do. So I believe the same for my kids. They are athletic and smart and seem to have other talents that fall in line with softball skills. They are only 9 and 10 but unless there comes a day that I realize they are not ahead of others, I feel I should think of college. I understand that if a girl simply does not have talent, then yeah maybe not but I believe in dreaming big and I’m sure most that have succeeded would say the same. And yes it has to be their dream and at this point they do love it and want to play as long as they can. I’m not just asking specifically for my girls, but would like to know everyone’s opinion on when is the appropriate time for people to start thinking college.

I answered your other thread, but I will answer this as well since it is different.

Count how many times you say 'I' in your question. College will become a 'her goal' - not yours. And it will happen somewhere around 14U as they approach or enter High School - this is the time MOST of the players decide if college softball will be for them. And because they are then teenagers they will then change their minds 20-30 times. All of that is OK.

At 14U and above, all the early maturer's physical advantages disappear as everyone catches up. They start to develop more and more into who they are really going to be as a player. Even then, there is a massive maturing process through 18U and into college. But the ones who want to be good will self-motivate - the ones who are great are generally massively talented and self-motivated.

You also have to realize that college softball is wide and varied - there are 2000ish teams across multiple divisions and some are great and some are not. Some couldn't win a 14U rec game. College softball is not all what you see on TV. There is a team for everyone if they want it (maybe not the team they believe is for them, but a team none the less).

So while it is OK to believe 'college' is the long term goal, softball is season to season, year to year. Especially in 8u/10u/12u it is all about development, getting better and making sure they are having a good enough time to come back next season. If you focus on that, everything else will come to those who want it. Set seasons goals that make everyone better and move the team forward. We always pick a 'goal' tournament at the end of the season where we look to play our best and everyone can look forward to.

 

[sjw62000]

I've read both threads and decided my response best fit here. Should the goal be college? Short answer; no. What? Why not? You ask. My DD works hard, she loves the game, and she shows some natural athletic ability. College, at 9? Please don't misunderstand my next comment; College is 8 long years away and those years are going to be full of: injuries, slumps, mechanical and fundamental backsliding and there are going to be tournaments where you wonder if she even remembers how to swing a bat or throw a ball. Be prepared to help her through the slumps, be prepared to hear a lot of "I don't know why I did that."

At 9, teaching the game, teaching fundamentals, teaching her to be a good team player, and helping her help herself is preparing her for college. Learning multiple positions and being great at everything is preparing her for the college. It's all you can do.

Last note (for real): There's no interstate highway to college, you gotta take the backroads and hope the GPS doesn't lose signal for very long.

 

[JudeDaRude]

I answered your other thread, but I will answer this as well since it is different.

Count how many times you say 'I' in your question. College will become a 'her goal' - not yours. And it will happen somewhere around 14U as they approach or enter High School - this is the time MOST of the players decide if college softball will be for them. And because they are then teenagers they will then change their minds 20-30 times. All of that is OK.

At 14U and above, all the early maturer's physical advantages disappear as everyone catches up. They start to develop more and more into who they are really going to be as a player. Even then, there is a massive maturing process through 18U and into college. But the ones who want to be good will self-motivate - the ones who are great are generally massively talented and self-motivated.

You also have to realize that college softball is wide and varied - there are 2000ish teams across multiple divisions and some are great and some are not. Some couldn't win a 14U rec game. College softball is not all what you see on TV. There is a team for everyone if they want it (maybe not the team they believe is for them, but a team none the less).

So while it is OK to believe 'college' is the long term goal, softball is season to season, year to year. Especially in 8u/10u/12u it is all about development, getting better and making sure they are having a good enough time to come back next season. If you focus on that, everything else will come to those who want it. Set seasons goals that make everyone better and move the team forward. We always pick a 'goal' tournament at the end of the season where we look to play our best and everyone can look forward to.

I definitely agree in short term goals as well.