Seems like I'm pissing everyone off

[Osric]

So, yesterday I tell my coach that I'm benching our 1st baseman. She's missed 3 of 11 games and parts of 2 others. Missed the last practice because of a school project. Coach vehemently disagrees with me; says I need to have a talk with player/parents first. We talk for a while, I sit the girl for the first 2 1/2 innings, put her in for the last half of the game. Coach not happy with me because the substitute 3rd baseman (normal 3rd baseman took over at 1st) muffed a couple balls costing us either 2 or 4 runs (depending on whether you blame a pitcher blow up on the errors or because the pitcher has problems shaking off teammate mistakes).

Next day have the talk with the parent of the player I benched. Was upset that her girl was being punished because she chose school over softball. Asked her which of the girls that came to practice I should have benched besides her daughter. Doesn't matter to parent. Upset that her daughter was "singled out" for punishment. Told her that with school activities now over (missed games were due to volleyball league), I needed 100% commitment from her and daughter: no more missed games, no more missed practices. Mom not happy.

Assistant coach's daughter (good all-around player) comes up to me in warmups before the game and tells me she has a pain in her side (had same problem previous night when wife took her home...wife considered taking her to ER at the time, the pain was so bad). I tell her to rest. 10 minutes before the game I check to see if she can play, she says no. I adjust lineup and give to other team. 5 minutes before the game she says she is good. I tell her I've already changed the lineup and that I'll get her in in the 3rd inning. Coach pissed at me because I didn't check with him first and that I didn't just put her back in the lineup (which besides already being turned in, would have meant me changing it all around again...bumping the #3 batter back to normal #6 slot, 6 slot to 7, etc. etc.) Coach won't talk to me (or kids) for first 3 innings of the game.

Talented pitcher (who was mad at me the previous night for only giving her two innings...wanted to get the other pitcher some work once we broke open a lead) couldn't find the plate. Gave up 5 runs in her first inning of work (thank god for the 5 run rule in our league). Walked the first batter next inning. Replaced her with other pitcher. Player pouts at third base and misses a cover. Move her to right field. Pitcher pissed the rest of the night and refuses to engage with team (I would have subbed her out there, but didn't have any subs left).

Some days, you just want to chuck it all in.

/rant

 

[Osric]

btw...14U team.

 

[David Carter]

.......................Nothing to see here move along...................................

Seriously just breath and relax all is normal. Feel free to come here and rant, I might be right behind momentarily with a rant of my own but suffice it to say this is mostly normal. Only thing I might have done differently is when parent said I'm thinking about taking her to the ER I would have said "better safe than sorry that's a good idea" could be appendix, gall bladder although not typical in kids not something to mess around with. Also too bad sounds like you have another pouting kid instead of an assistant coach hopefully you have another one you can count on.

On the school project versus softball I might have cut her some slack but then again what are the odds the teacher gave the kid the assignment the day before and said it was due in two days and is half your grade....almost ZERO....the odds are much higher she has known about this for a month or more and has simply chosen to put it off until the last minute but this is where communication could come in and simply ask the question what is the project, when was it assigned and when is it due then she can learn that time management is important and poor time management has consequences. Unless the project was some kind of after school thing. I do cut kids slack for things like school plays...think about it they practice all semester and there is one night they get to show there parents what they have been doing, there will be hundreds of softball practices and games but that school play will only happen once. Same with band concert/contest/trips, odds are they practice that instrument every day and they get one or two chances a year two really show off what they have learned, while commitment is important there is more to life than softball...at least I hope so for kids sanity.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Rec or travel?

 

[Hit by the Pitch]

We need a rant font.

There is way too much drama, might be hard to fix it this year but it sounds like you allowed this to happen. If DD “complained” about position or playing time she can have a nice conversation with the coach sitting next to them on the bench.

Doesn’t mean she/we cannot approach the coach, it is a fine line to determine.

 

[Hit by the Pitch]

Rec or travel?

Because of the run limit I am assuming Rec.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

All of this is pretty typical. If you did not have a parents meeting prior to practice starting, you might want to consider it, now. State that you appreciate school activities, but you have to play the girls that are at practice and know the plays. Tell them that pitching is hard work and you will substitute as necessary, to give girls a chance. Good luck. Most teams go through this.

 

[JDBerry]

IMO, you have to decide, on day one, what your philosophy is going to be.

1) play the best players who show for the game that day

2) explain what you consider to be OK as far as missing practices and games and what theyncan generally expect

I see both sides. It's really difficult with some teams/situations to have hard rules about committing to practices/games with girls in other activities. I understand the coach that just plays the best players who show because the other players deserve that better chance at success. Of course, I'm referring to legit reasons for missing practices/games.

 

[CoogansBluff]

So, yesterday I tell my coach that I'm benching our 1st baseman. She's missed 3 of 11 games and parts of 2 others. Missed the last practice because of a school project. Coach vehemently disagrees with me; says I need to have a talk with player/parents first. We talk for a while, I sit the girl for the first 2 1/2 innings, put her in for the last half of the game. Coach not happy with me because the substitute 3rd baseman (normal 3rd baseman took over at 1st) muffed a couple balls costing us either 2 or 4 runs (depending on whether you blame a pitcher blow up on the errors or because the pitcher has problems shaking off teammate mistakes).

If it's a rec game, I wouldn't sit her at all. It's deep into the season, so it's not like missing a few games or practices should mean that she's lost out there.

Interesting that your coach agrees with me - but only because her absence might cost the team the game, which is not a good reason.

Question: Would her teammates have cared if this girl played the entire game like everyone else? If not, then what's the purpose in sitting her?

 

[JAD]

If this is rec ball you are taking it way to seriously....you either need to join a TB team or take a step back and re-familiarize yourself the goals of rec ball......