Rule#1 for new coaches

[BB875]

Don't befriend the parents because someday you will have to cut their daughter!

 

[Sparky Guy]

Don't befriend the parents because someday you will have to cut their daughter!

Amen, Amen, Amen........

I never socialize with any of the parents on the teams I have and I don't have a kid on the team. The only assistant coach I socialized with was my DD. It's tough at times, but it makes things MUCH easier when it comes to managing the team. Even with no kids on the team I won't let myself be put in the position of being accused of favoritism.

 

[BB875]

Just had a situation where a new kid at our TB try-outs bumped an existing player. Dad pulled the "friend" card and made a huge stink about it. Shame on me for allowing myself to become "friends" in the first place.

 

[softballphreak]

Along that same line, be careful what you say. A light-hearted comment or joke may be twisted if you have to bench a player or cut a player. I still can't believe some of the things I've witnessed over the years.

 

[CoachKevin]

Treat the team like a business. I ran into a situation this year. Since Jan we had said we were attending the 14A Western Nationals. There was 1 family that kept giving me excuses as why they couldn't pay our fees, in fact, I even set up a payment plan for them, as I know how hard times are. They made 2 payments, then a week before Western's we were playing in a Tournament and this player comes to me and says she forgot her cleats. Of course she sat the bench for most of the game, I did put her in the last inning. Well parents got mad and quit the team... while still owing quite a bit of $$$$.

 

[InTheCrowd]

As a parent, I actually prefer the more-business-like approach by the coaches. I think it adds some gravity to the game more so than trying to be their friend. The coach sets the tone. If he or she is serious then the players I believe would follow especially with the older girls. That's the classic balancing act - keeping it fun and serious.

 

[quincy]

You see all the above happening in the opposite direction too.

 

[Coach661]

You see all the above happening in the opposite direction too.

You might be say the same thing as me but don't befriend the coach, you might have to cut them at some point too.

 

[undergroundga]

So how social can I be with dd's coach? I like the guy and like talking to softball people, especially if they know more than me. Should I text instead of call? What about inviting over for supper?
It's way too complicated being a softball parent. Do this, don't do that. Offer to help, don't offer to help. Say this, don't say that. Dd has definately got the easy part, all she has to do is show up and work hard.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Let the coach set how much "social" time they spend with the parents. Some coaches are like part of the families of the players. I know I never socialized with any of the parents. Between games I did not talk to them any more than I had to. The only assistant coach I socialized with was my DD.

I let down my guard one time about a personal issue with someone I trusted. Turned out to be a mistake. I heard about it from another source. So NEVER again will I trust anyone again. I keep it strictly softball at the fields and that's it.