Question for coaches - from parent

[maksoftball]

I know now that this isn't something you approach coaches about, so that's why I am asking here. Probably not fair since you all do not know dd, nor have you seen her in action. LOL. Just trying to figure out what's missing or if I am just over-analyzing...so...here goes:

My dd works very hard at softball. To me, however biased, she does work very hard and it shows. I have been told by several people that she has very high work ethic. However, consistently (for the last 5 years), coaches put her at the end of the line as far as playing time and such. I guess what I am asking is...what makes "good" and "quality" players stand out? Do you have players that work hard but still don't "deserve" playing time? How much harder does dd have to work to move up the line?

When I watch the girls practice, dd throws hard and straight, moves fast, hustles...just like the rest... She is a little slower infield tho (does not have SS speed) so she's more of a 1st/3rd base. And during drills for practice, they almost always put her in the catching part of the drill, and not where the action is (they have 3 other lines of girls at 3rd, SS and 2nd...they hit hard balls to those 3 positions...dd is at first where SS, 2nd and 3rd throw to her)...so she's missing out on that drill. She is in that position with 2 other girls...1 who is visibly weak (weaker than her) and the other has a broken wrist). Oh yeah, and she pitches too but has already been told that she will pitch in pool games only (she's 2 years younger than everyone else...just started this team this past January...oh and when I say "coaches", I am really referring to any coach she's had so it's not just this team that she's the youngest on).

Also, for games, coaches will consistently put her in LF. After reading the LF/CF/RF post, I am beginning to think that dd isn't all that great. She LOVES softball, and it would absolutely CRUSH her if she was told that it wasn't for her. She never puts up a fuss on where the coaches put her...NEVER. She goes with the flow, and knows that whatever the coaches' actions are, it's for the good fo the team...and she's happy with that.

Sigh...I am just trying to figure out what it is, and if it's just something I need to shut up and watch...if it was meant to be, it will be...maybe something will click with her? She is Type A personality so she does tense up, and does not have the natural grace that some of these athletes seem to have. I am wondering if yoga would help her relax...LOL. Is there anything I should be doing to help her improve? Pitching takes up a lot of time so taking extra time for fielding drills or hitting is hard.

One last thing...would you, as a coach, tell the parents at the end of a season that it's not working out or if dd just isn't where she needs to be in comparison with peer players? Would you ever say something along the lines of "she isn't that good" or whatever? Probably not in those words...but something by way of saying that dd isn't going to get any better even with all the hard work? Am I making sense? LOL.

Okay, I'm shutting up now. It's been on my mind, but I never wanted to say anything out loud to anyone...not even my husband.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Why isn't she on a team with players her own age?

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

Simply ask the coach in private what your DD needs to work on to get more playing time. Remember, as a parent you see your kid with rose-colored glasses and cannot be objective by definition. You can also ask a friend for whom you trust their opinion to summarize your DDs strength and weaknesses, but you have to be prepared for the honest truth. I think a lot of the problem is the age gap. Two years is huge in development and maturity (you didn't state her age but I would assume she is a pre-teen?).

 

[maksoftball]

Sorry, she was asked to tryout for her pitching coach's team. She is 13 years old ('99) who is slightly over 5'6" tall and weighs 135 lbs...so she fits in size wise. Anyhow, the reason we are on this team is: 1) she was let go from her '99 team in August due to her "inconsistent" hitting...which I believe is a crock but that's neither here/there...when she was "let go", none of the coaches warned us that she was being cut...and the last tryout date was literally the last date for other teams in the area, so we had no choice but to go with a sub-par team where she was "declining" in skills because they were not that good...so when she was asked to tryout for her pitching coach's team, and was offered a spot (NOTE: pitching coach stayed out of the decision to offer spot...he didn't want to influence the other coaches' impression of her)...she took it; 2) she enjoys the challenge immensely especially since she missed so much of it last fall when she was on sub-par team; 3) she can only learn to get better on this team and aim higher; and 4) we REALLY like the coaches...they have a wealth of experience.

But regardless of age, it didn't just start with this team, it's always been this way...which is why I am asking what is dd missing and what am I missing? I truly try to take the rose colored glasses off but I am in no way experienced in seeing differences between her and other players. I don't know what little things the other players have that dd doesn't...like could it be that they are quick-footed? I wouldn't know if one was more quick-footed than the other. LOL. I do watch some players with absolute awe, and am amazed at their fierceness and drive. DD will often have a player in her sights that she watches and tries to follow by example, and I will suggest a couple of players to watch and follow example (not in how they play but how they carry themselves publicly because this is huge). Other than that, I don't know what else to do. Her pitching coach is a grandfatherly type guy, and he would rather spare feelings than tell the truth. What he doesn't realize is that actions speak louder than words. LOL.

 

[Mrek]

You are primarily listing defensive qualities in your post.
In my experience, no matter how coaches praise defensive skills, good hitting will almost always equate to playing time.
Coaches will always find a place to play a good hitter (unless there are already 9 good hitters on the field).

 

[Momo'sDad]

If your DD is a middle of the pack player in 12u, then chances are likely that she'll be in the lower part of the lineup playing up in 14u. Coaches in 10u/12u typically love players with birthdays early in the year.

It's my opinion that there never should have been playing time issues when your DD was 8/9/10 years old. It's water under the bridge now, but if she was being denied equal or reasonably playing time during those years, then those coaches she had really failed your DD. Not getting the playing time over a period of years likely slowed her progression from what it could have been.

The past can't be changed, but I hope other coaches in the younger age groups will read what you've posted and understand what they're doing when they get overly focused on keeping only the best players on the field instead of doing fair rotations to help develop all the players they have on the team. The damage may not be apparent right away, but 3 years down the road, it can be too late to undo what we may have done to those players by not giving them the same opportunities the better players received.

Hang in there. Don't encourage her to leave the game. Have her try out for 1st-year 14u teams this August and do your best to help find a great coach for her. Good luck to your DD.

 

[Sweet Lou]

If she go cut for inconsistent hitting, consider a hitting coach. Or at least work on hitting a lot at home or on her own.
You hit, they'll find a spot for her.

 

[redhotcoach]

I think SHE should ask the coach... "what do I need to do or work on to get some more play time, can you help me?". He should be honest with her, if you dont think he gave her an honest answer, then you ask him. Just me, but there are girls on my teams I haven' t played as much, but if I am playing them very little, it is something else. Usually attitude, not saying that is your case, but I know most of my girls parents don't know how their dd is at practice, or in the dug out. You mention nervousness, especially at pitcher, she can't show that, coach might see it as whinning or weakness. If she is getting too anxious about pitching, try not pitching and not even plan on pitching for awhile. She might find she is refreashed and gets back her joy of playing. Finally, whatever her role is she could take it on like she will be the best. If sitting on the bench, ask coach questions, whats going on, what pitch are you calling? Cheer her teammates on, I love loud girls who give recognition to great play by teammates, it shows espcecially it a young age that she has enough self confidence to be happy when someone who is actually competing for the same position does well.

 

[redhotcoach]

I re-read you post and I appoligize. I keep picturing a certain girl I have, she might not be anything like your daughter, but I want to help this girl bad. Her trouble is self confidence. She doesn't talk to me, or any one else. I have said 100 times when calling for the ball, "be louder" softball girls aren't quiet. I have had whole motivational talks to the team that I was mostly speaking to her without her knowing. "This game doesn't know you, you don't have a past when you are up to bat, be, act like anyone you want to be.". I have had them watch Drea's diaries on ucla.com and other youtubes of college softball teams off the field. "Softball players have confidence! How do you get it, fake it until you make it."
Ifthats nothing like her, I would still recommend being the loudest, most positive girl on the team. If nothing else it will make her experience that much better.

 

[sluggers]

maksoftball,

I read your post several times...so, you are over-reacting, because you don't understand how softball is managed at advanced levels.

Your DD is a *PITCHER*. No coach is going to put a pitcher in the infield unless she is much, much better than other players. Why? There is a lot of coordination between infielders on advanced teams, and it it too much work to try to teach that to a player who will only do it once in a while.

If you want your DD to play more, she needs to concentrate on pitching and hitting. Forget trying to teach her to play the infield. Aim for the DH spot on the team. Get her a hitting coach--(She might not find time for fielding ground balls, but I bet suddenly she has all kinds of time to practice hitting.)

My DD had the exact same problem, and finally it got through my thick skull that the we needed to change our thinking. We got her the best hitting coach we could find, and she became a really good hitter. She was a great pitcher (she pitched D1), but she was Chicago Tribune Player of the Week for...(wait for it)... her hitting. Go figure.