Playing Poorly-Afterwards

[Greenmonsters]

Pine applied liberally to the backside works wonders.

A coach has to be willing to bench the team's best player. You bench your top 2 or 3 players for failing to play hard, and the rest of the team will fall in line.

The unwillingness to do this is the surest way to ensure that a team will never perform anywhere near their potential.

 

[cmustangsfp]

None taken- I absolutely called them out. We had an 11-0 lead going into the last inning and our pitchers both broke down and we lost 12-11. pitcher #1 is my DD and #2 was HCs DD (I was AC). After HC told the team "we win and lose as a team". I said we usually win and lose as a team but this one was on my DD and HCs DD for throwing the game away. It is actually what happened. How does the SS or RF have anything to do with 10 walks, 3 HBPs and an assortment of wild pitches? Truth is truth and I trust the girls to know what is going on, I actually believe we lose credibility as coaches when we dispense platitudes. Sometimes one or two players really do blow it and we should be honest, It's not like the girls didn't notice all the walks. Once again, one size does not fit all and all situations are grey. For the record, I am also effusive with praise and will point out individual girls at the end of the game when they do good jobs. I don't care if my DDs become college players. I do care that they use their team sports to learn about delayed gratification, being a good teammate, learning how to deal with pressure and how to take responsibility for their actions. I am raising women, not sissies.

Did you get on your hitters too for not scoring more runs? Was there only one person playing out there, the pitcher? Did you get on the coach for calling bad pitches? What about the coaches for leaving the pitchers in too long? Did the coaches make any base running mistakes? Even if your pitcher(s) fall apart, there are two halves to each inning, so to put the blame sorely on the pitchers lets at least 3 others (hitters) off the hook. It happens a lot in basketball, the person taking the last shot gets the credit or blame for the win or loss. But most basketball games are not 2-0 affairs, so the blame rests on the whole team. Even in softball, if a team loses 1-0 on an error made by a fielder or a walked in run by the pitcher, there is usually at least 4 innings where your team failed to get on base and score.

 

[cmustangsfp]

I would actually flip the script and ask why exactly is it so important to have a blanket rule to NEVER single out a kid or kids in a team sport environment for a loss?

Unless you are playing tennis or golf, then there is more than one person responsible for a game's outcome. That is why. Also what good does it do? In blaming the girl, you are saying the girl has a fault. Not that she has faulty mechanics. There IS a difference between the two. I teach correction of the mechanics. If it due to lack of effort, then benching them and talking to them to see what is going on usually works wonders. In one game I had one of my best hitters and fielders struggling, so I replaced her on the field and in the lineup and sat her on the bench and asked her if she wanted to talk as I noticed she wasn't being "herself" that day. Turns out that morning her mom had told her that she and her dad were getting divorced. Would yelling at her made any difference? Would calling her out at the end of the game provided any benefit or would it have driven her out of the sport? Until you know what is going on inside their head, pointing out their flaws only makes them more insecure. I had the same scenario. I realized that the #1 pitcher was losing "it" so I pulled them. I also realized that it was a tough position to put #2 in, but I needed someone out there. What I would have done is talked to both #1 and #2 together after the game. To the #1 P, I would have said, "See this is what we were talking about the other day. Sometimes you can see a game slipping away from yourself and you have to develop a trigger to try and reset yourself. In some cases, you just may need a break. I left you in as long as I could to see if you could develop that trigger, but I sensed you were getting weary and decided to switch you out so we could talk about this later." Then I would turn to the #2 and say" #2P, I realize that I put you in a tough position today, but I thought it would help you grow. Being put in these tough positions only helps you grow, because once you have been put in enough of these situations, it becomes easier for you. So you grew today, I saw that out there. I am proud of both of you today and we will grow from this. We have some new things to work on in practice Tuesday, I would like for both of you to begin thinking about a trigger that you can use to reset yourself when placed in this situation, if it ever happens again. You might never need to use it, but you will have it to fall back on, just in case."
That usually gets them fired up and ready to practice on Tuesday. By singling them out it tells them that it is not OK to fail. That they must be perfect 100% of the time. That is an unrealistic expectation. By teaching that there are lessons to be learned through failure, it makes them better players. By expecting perfection 100% of the time, it makes them basket cases.

 

[JJsqueeze]

jeez...simmer down already Mustang. Read what I posted and you'll see that my whole point was about how situational this all is and how there are no absolutes. If you somehow got the impression from one decision I made with two girls I have known for years, on a team with girls I have coached several times, that belong to families I have known for years, that somehow that is indicative of my daily style or approach, and you, or anyone else know better, then feel free. If everyone in the Fastpitch community wants to say that you NEVER call out any individuals on a team, then go ahead I will still think that NEVER and ALWAYS are for fools. And your comparison to basketball is ludicrous, blaming a loss on a basketball player for a missed shot at the end of a game is miles away from blaming 2 players for allowing 12 runs in the last half of the last inning on walks, HBPS and wild pitches. The are so dissimilar I cannot even begin to explain the differences. I get it, a lot of people disagree, I'm just stubborn enough to say I really don't care, these two particular girls at that particular time needed a kick in the pants and a wake up call.

This kind of feels like this one time my wife yelled at my daughter in public for walking into a street without looking and a complete stranger stopped her and told her she should NEVER yell at a child.

 

[Jr10234]

You called out a pair of 12 year olds to make them feel lower than they already felt, and mustangs needs to simmer down? You justified an adult tantrum over a GAME.

 

[JJsqueeze]

You called out a pair of 12 year olds to make them feel lower than they already felt, and mustangs needs to simmer down? You justified an adult tantrum over a GAME.

They were 10 and it was pretty calm actually- not really a tantrum. Excuse me, I have to go beat my kids, mug some old ladies, and club some harp seals. Can we move on yet or do you want to feel superior a little longer?

 

[CoachCalvin]

I have had many issues with my 14u team. I've had a parent hint to me I'm not harsh enough. I go out of my way to be positive as we are a first time team. I don't berate in from of others, never have never will. Spoken on the phone a few times with parents about their girl And how she's progressing.
It is a game and the object is to score more than your opponent. Ask yourself it the girls are better off long term for calling them out. How have they played since? Only the OP can answer that.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Ask yourself it the girls are better off long term for calling them out. How have they played since?

Not that you meant it this way, but it's more than just whether they played better. There are coaching styles that might make players perform better in the short run, but burn them out in the long run, or make them the kind of teammates who blame each other.

 

[smddad]

I guess Marty Tyson's coaching techniques don't work.

 

[cmustangsfp]

jeez...simmer down already Mustang. Read what I posted and you'll see that my whole point was about how situational this all is and how there are no absolutes. If you somehow got the impression from one decision I made with two girls I have known for years, on a team with girls I have coached several times, that belong to families I have known for years, that somehow that is indicative of my daily style or approach, and you, or anyone else know better, then feel free. If everyone in the Fastpitch community wants to say that you NEVER call out any individuals on a team, then go ahead I will still think that NEVER and ALWAYS are for fools. And your comparison to basketball is ludicrous, blaming a loss on a basketball player for a missed shot at the end of a game is miles away from blaming 2 players for allowing 12 runs in the last half of the last inning on walks, HBPS and wild pitches. The are so dissimilar I cannot even begin to explain the differences. I get it, a lot of people disagree, I'm just stubborn enough to say I really don't care, these two particular girls at that particular time needed a kick in the pants and a wake up call.

This kind of feels like this one time my wife yelled at my daughter in public for walking into a street without looking and a complete stranger stopped her and told her she should NEVER yell at a child.

I'm glad that you said it was situational and that it is not your daily style. I'm also glad that you have the sense to use it sparingly. You are different than most coaches who I have seen use that tactic. Do I ever "call out" a girl for not doing something correctly? Yes, but i am prepared to show her how to do it correctly. I also do not call her out in front of other people. And here is what I mean by calling out. For example. Last night at our 8U practice/tryouts I had a girl who was throwing side arm, rather than point this out in front of the other players i called her aside and took her to the outfield. i threw a ball against one post as a reference point. I then told her she was very athletic and had some good athletic skills, and that with such skills she could "guide" the ball where it needed to go by using just her athletic abilities. I then said however, with the side arm throw, any mistake you make can be magnified. I then showed her how, when trying to throw towards my target ball, if she released the throw too early how the ball would drift off to the right of the target (while looking at the target) and that would mean the target would have to move, and if you are throwing to a base, it is best not to have to move, or overthow the base. I then explained how if she held on to the throw too long then it would drift to the left of the target, again requiring the target to move or cause an overthrow. I then showed her how if she changed to the overhead style of throwing and lining herself up to the target, If she released too early the ball would drop in front of the target, but it would still be in line with the target and would most likely roll or bounce to the target. If she held on too long the ball would be in line with the target and the throw would be higher and the target might have to jump for it, but they would still have a chance at it. Then I told her that I have seen other girls in a game situation with her throwing style make a mistake and release too early making a bad throw. They then almost always hold on too long on the next throw and make another bad throw. I told her how when the game gets you all excited sometimes you can put too much athletiscism in it and make some mistakes. She understood completely and started becoming very aware of the correct mechanics. She was also an older 8U so I gave it to her on a level she could understand.

When I "call out" players it is to emphasize where their problem is with their mechanics. If they made an error, it is most likely something in their mechanics or knowledge of the game that is to blame. If I feel they are not hustling enough or the problem lies in their attitude, I try to figure out if there is a reason for it. If the reason is lack of desire to play softball, then I go have a talk with her parents.

I have had several pitchers go through the dreaded "can't get out of an inning" drama you described. I would dare to say that all of the pitchers I have ever had on my teams have gone through that scenario at least once, though not necissarily on my team. They or their parents have regaled the tale of the inning that just wouldn't die. If they haven't had it yet, then when it presents itself I just inform them that ALL pitchers have gone through that and the good news is that they just got their's out of their system.

So if I misjudged you then I apologize. I just hate seeing coaches belittling girls (those coaches whose main style is berating their girls) and I hate seeing girls leave the sport because of it.