Agreed. In a tournament we didn’t get a clear interference call and I called time and asked the field ump. She said there was no contact and my SS checked up giving up the base path. So I told the SS to go after the ball and make contact if needed. Umpire then told me she would eject me if that happened. So being the calm quiet person I am, I asked then what is she supposed to do? You just said no interference because there was no contact, but you will eject me if there is contact? It didn’t end well but I went and sat on my bucket...
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It's never a good idea to publicly tell a player to intentionally make contact with another. However, I do tell baserunners to gently "bump" fielders just standing in the way. I also tell fielders to go after the ball regardless of where the runner might be, and what happens, happens. I'll do either during practice or in the dugout, but not within earshot of an umpire. This umpire's argument clearly indicates that she didn't understand the rules, and that's a legitimate foundation for further discussion. I probably go talk to the Home plate umpire to argue for the correct rule application. If the game is important enough and the call really matters, I ask for the UIC. In any event, I have a chat with the UIC after the game.