New to softball

[Russell Jennings]

Ok I am looking for some advice both as a parent and as a potential coach. Background is my step daughter has picked up softball back in August. We started her in rec 13U. At 14 this is her first organized team sport she has played. Due to her height and speed the coaches instantly feel in love (she is 5'8"). They have asked her to play on the travel team they have. We are all for this however i have a concern with how she is being pushed and pulled. Dad who has never played a team sport, or organized competitive sport in his life keeps telling her what position he wants her to play. Of course this changes but he always wants her in the highly involved positions like pitching, catching or first base. The coaches then have their own ideas. I will not pretend i know all that much about softball, i played competitive baseball for 18 yrs until it was time to come to the realization i was never going to make money and needed to move on. What i see is a young girl getting put in every position and left to fail. The coaches and dad kept telling her to concentrate when she kept missing the balls thrown to her. Actual problem was new glove without TLC and no one explaining to her how to close her hand to catch. I tried to sit back and not get involved and let her coaches coach and just be the fly in her ear telling her listen to coach not dad. What this got us after a full rec season was a girl who likes the game, and wants to play more and in high school, but doesn't know the basics or the love and commitment needed starting so late. How as a parent can i help her without shoving it down her throat and have her eat sleep live it the next 6-9 months. Second the travel ball coaches have asked me to assist them this upcoming spring season. I would gladly help however i don't want to add to the pushing and pulling of where she should play. Any one have any suggestions with her height where i could focus her and give her a fighting chance to continue. Also being she has never really played sports before she doesn't know good running techniques. Anyone know where a good starting point is for that? Sorry for the rambling the coaching idea and her wanting to continue with travel all has happened in the last 3 hours so i am still trying to get my head wrapped around the idea

 

[marriard]

Hello there....

I was going to answer this in length and then I realized something that needs to be answered first.

Is that your real name on the account? If so, I highly advise you to copy the text of this post then have the post and the account deleted and then re-register using an alias and post this again.

There is a lot of great (and some not so great) advice that this board will provide you however these sort of situations with step kids, parents, multiple coaches, travel sports, parents of other kids, other teams, etc, etc can get messy quickly and what you don't want is someone googling your real name and making it even more messy.

Even using my alias, I know multiple people locally within softball who know I post on this board and what name I post under, so I am am careful about what I say and how I say it when it comes to local softball and events. You never know who is is lurking and not posting or what someone is searching for on the internet.

 

[Eric F]

Being that she is new, many basic skills are going to need some time to develop, and just need LOTS of reps. As a former player of a very similar game (throw, catch, hit a ball with a stick, run and turn left), your input is going to be very important and (probably) realistic. If everyone else telling her she's a superstar (or should be) when she doesn't have the skill set to go with it, it may likely be very frustrating for her, and potentially damaging to her enjoyment. Work with her whenever you can without being pushy about it, teach her what you know, and be real. If she's struggling with something, she knows it. If she really loves the game and wants to improve, she will eat up REAL help, not just someone telling her to "do better".

Also, the step-dad game can be a delicate balance, depending on the relationship you have with DD and bio-dad. Tread carefully.

One more thing...

Welcome to DFP. Enjoy the ride! There are lots of good people who have seen and/or experienced all parts of this game we love. Feel free to ask questions or just vent your frustrations.

 

[CLM265]

Take a deep breath, now another really deep breath, relax and then read Eric's post again.

 

[Greenmonsters]

If you were a serious baseball player, you can shorten the learning curve of your fastpitch softball eduction by at least 1-2 years and be a more effective coach if you can immediately accept the following!

Although the games do indeed play differently, the fundamentals in baseball AND fastpitch softball i.e., hitting, throwing, and fielding are the SAME. Despite the difference in pitch trajectory, ball size, pitching distance or anything else that well-meaning fastpitch coaches claim and teach, the high-level MLB swing is the model swing all ballplayers, boys AND girls, should be trying to replicate. Ditto with overhand throwing. While fielding mechanics are essentially the same too, there should be greater emphasis on a quick transition/release for infielders in FP than in BB (google Howard Kobata).

 

[Classof2020]

Great advice above - including Marriards. The site admin can help you with starting over anonymously.

My advice is that at this time of year there are a lot of camps put on by college teams, and this would be a great place for her to have some condensed coaching over a weekend from very experienced folks. And if you go and watch you'll get some pointers on how to help coach her and the other gals if you step in to assist. You can check your local D1, D2 & D3 schools and usually they have an area on their website for athletic camps. Or ask the current coaches if they are aware of any upcoming camps.

 

[sluggers]

As a step-dad, you know you have to be careful as how to approach anything having to do with her father. It is a very delicate issue. So, please keep in mind that the most important thing is to maintain a good relationship with your SDD (step-darling daughter).

Dad who has never played a team sport, or organized competitive sport in his life keeps telling her what position he wants her to play. Of course this changes but he always wants her in the highly involved positions like pitching, catching or first base. The coaches then have their own ideas.

This is real common. Don't worry about it.

The best way to deal with the problem is to make your SDD better than everyone else on the team.

What i see is a young girl getting put in every position and left to fail. The coaches and dad kept telling her to concentrate when she kept missing the balls thrown to her.

Drives you crazy, doesn't it? Me too. It is common. The only way to deal with people like that is to laugh about it.

The entertainment value of softball parents can't be ignored.

What this got us after a full rec season was a girl who likes the game, and wants to play more and in high school, but doesn't know the basics or the love and commitment needed starting so late.

You are thinking of sports with a viewpoint of "wanting to play in college or the pros". I doubt that is where she is.

Think back to your freshman year of HS when you got your uniform. Do you remember how happy you were? Remembering how much fun the game was? Remember how much fun it was simply to be in the dugout with the guys BSing?

That is where she is...she doesn't care if she plays in college, but she wants to be on a team. And it will be a great experience for her.

What should you do? Teach her the basics...not just because she is your SDD, but because she is a child who wants to learn from you. She needs your help. So, help her.

How as a parent can i help her without shoving it down her throat and have her eat sleep live it the next 6-9 months.

You have a true emotional attachment with your SDD, which is very admirable. You are getting your goals (playing in college) confused about the level play you were accustomed to and where she is an athlete.

You have to gauge her interest in the game. There are kids who would literally eat and sleep softball if they had a chance (my DD--now 30 something--was one of them). There are others who don't want to put in that much time. Either choice is OK...softball is a great game. A kid can learn a lot from just being on a team.

So, the answer is that you help her as much as she wants. You offer to help, and when she has had enough, you stop. It is really pretty simple. (You might have to push her sometimes...but, you can tell when she has had enough and when she is just being a normal, All-American, lazy teenager.)

Second the travel ball coaches have asked me to assist them this upcoming spring season. I would gladly help however i don't want to add to the pushing and pulling of where she should play.

This is an easy one. Volunteer to help, but tell the other coaches and your SDD that you will *NOT* discuss playing time or positions with them. Tell your SDD that it is up to her to improve and that you will help her, but she has to earn her time with the other coaches. (This is very common...most Daddies who coach let the other coaches decide where and when their DDs play.)

Any one have any suggestions with her height where i could focus her and give her a fighting chance to continue.

Teach her how to hit. If she can hit, they'll find a place for her.

Also, play as much pitch and catch as you possible can. Whenever you get a chance, you and she grab a glove and head out to the backyard.

If she is fast, they may want her to play outfield. If you can hit fungos, she will be way ahead.

Also being she has never really played sports before she doesn't know good running techniques. Anyone know where a good starting point is for that?

Take her out and teach her what you know first. Then, find a track coach.

You said "her speed". How fast is she?

As a final thought:

There are few things better in this world than playing pitch and catch with your child.

 

[Eric F]

There are few things better in this world than playing pitch and catch with your child.

This!!!! ^^^^

 

[Little Angels Softball]

I just want to commend you for being involved in your step-daughter's life and for caring enough to come here to gain information that can help you help her.

I have a feeling she's well on her way with you in her corner.

 

[collinspc]

There are few things better in this world than playing pitch and catch with your child.

This!!!! ^^^^

Times 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!