Learning the Game...

[Jdeesso]

So my DD is on a 10u “travel” team and use that term very lightly. We have participated in tournaments and the team has been completely smoked and outclassed to the point my daughter was ok with losing an elimination game so they wouldn’t have to play again. This is the first time I’ve seen her not want to play. Clearly we aren’t travel ready.

Sadly we only practice 1 day a week for an hour and half maybe and half the girls don’t show up. Last practice we had four girls and coach didn’t even have balls. It was very frustrating to see this and it shows during the game. We can’t perform simple plays, where to cover, how to perform a relay, cover a bunt, etc. then the coaches wonder and get upset during the games

Aside from her pitching lessons and now going to start hitting lessons, I feel she has fallen behind in learning the game. It’s frustrating bc she enjoys the game but isn’t learning the right way and if we decide to go to or try out for another program, I feel like the lack of knowledge and certain aspects of her game could hold her up. I also think the team / org has a responsibility to teach these things and seems like we have to figure it out individually. I also know some other parents feel the same.

I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved and let my daughter do her thing unless she asked (which as a father of a pitcher is very tough to do) but I’m thinking about saying something.

There is a lot more behind the scenes that also makes me and my wife question the situation and could go on but just wanted to vent a little and also see if anyone else experienced this and how they handled it. We can only do so much on our own time but it’s frustrating to see when we are embarrassed on the field and even the simplest thing can turn into a circus. These girls don’t deserve that.

Thanks for reading.


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[bmakj]

it is 10u, early, relax. that is not to say sit back and do nothing.

-continue lessons, both pitching and hitting (if she wants to pitch). have her make homework part of her daily routine. make certain instructor(s) are reliable ie ask who some of their older students are, see who they play for, how much circle time they get, how is their hitting)

-find new team. if her basic fundamentals (and you can work on these outside of team workouts yourselves) are sound, and she is decently athletic, a decent coach will want her. the ones who want a finished product at 10u I would avoid, they are trophy hunting, and are not going to develop girls, and their teams are mostly going to gravitate towards more physically mature players at that age, who will think they are better than they are simply because they are bigger and stronger. make it a "town" TB team if need be, but ask to attend a couple of practices (which become tryouts, but dont focus on DD, focus on how they run practices, are they teaching fundamentals and mechanics, are they teaching situations. if one coach is throwing to BP to one girl with 9 in the field, grab DD and leave the practice.

enjoy the journey.

 

[sluggers]

Newbie softball parents rarely understand what "good" means until they go to some travel tournaments. So, chalk this up as a learning experience. Find a better team, and move on. Don't fret about it...this happens all the time.

After you've been through the wringer once, you have a better idea what your DD needs. So, start looking for a good 12U team for your DD.

 

[Strike2]

I remember deluded 10U coaches who thought they could take their Rec team to tournaments. When they tried, the results were predictable. Even lower level tournament ball requires commitment and work or you will get smoked. Heck, even a Rec league team that practices as you describe is going to get beat up.

Pitching and hitting lessons at 10U? If only one of those two take hold, you'll be in good shape down the road. 10U means some playing experience, but little else. There are players in Div 1 right now that didn't play any organized ball before 12U, and the numbers of "outstanding" 10U players out of the game by HS are legion.

If you expect your DD to get anywhere in softball, you'll need to be involved. Pitching and hitting involve a ton of work outside of the lessons, and kids can't do that by themselves. If you recognize something that she isn't being taught, work on that at home. Do that, and start looking for another team...now.

 

[_MIA_]

If you expect your DD to get anywhere in softball, you'll need to be involved. Pitching and hitting involve a ton of work outside of the lessons, and kids can't do that by themselves. If your recognize something that she isn't being taught, work on that at home. Do that, and start looking for another team...now.

☝

 

[Jdeesso]

I remember deluded 10U coaches who thought they could take their Rec team to tournaments. When they tried, the results were predictable. Even lower level tournament ball requires commitment and work or you will get smoked. Heck, even a Rec league team that practices as you describe is going to get beat up.

Pitching and hitting lessons at 10U? If only one of those two take hold, you'll be in good shape down the road. 10U means some playing experience, but little else. There are players in Div 1 right now that didn't play any organized ball before 12U, and the numbers of "outstanding" 10U players out of the game by HS are legion.

If you expect your DD to get anywhere in softball, you'll need to be involved. Pitching and hitting involve a ton of work outside of the lessons, and kids can't do that by themselves. If you recognize something that she isn't being taught, work on that at home. Do that, and start looking for another team...now.

I should clarify, by not being involved, it was more of in game/practice suggestions. When she first started pitching I was nervous and would tell her to remember this/remember that and try to do this like your pitching coach said. Similar to hitting between AB’s. I soon realized it wasn’t helping. I failed to realize how nervous she was.

I have made a conscious effort to step away during games and let her do her own thing and make adjustments during the games.

On our own time, I do try and get her out to pitch outside her lessons and work with her then. Hitting tends take the backseat.

Also, in regards to your comment about pitching and hitting lessons at 10u. Serious, question, do you think that’s too much too early? We asked DD and she def like pitching and always asks when the next lesson is and said she wanted hitting lessons. We don’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do but maybe offering is too much. We don’t want to force anything on her or make her feel like she has to do anything she doesn’t want to.


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[bmakj]

if she really wants it, and your family can accomodate it, no, pitching and hittng lessons at 10u is probably not "too much", but it depends what else she and the family have going on.

beware though, some will think it ridiculous, but they are the same ones who will wonder why suzy, who is pretty athletic, did not become an all star player at 10u by going to two rec practices a week and playing a couple of games a week. to excel, they need to work hard at it (but it can still be fun). if the desire is there, nothing wrong with helping them pursue it.
that being said, i would only do 60 minutes total of instruction a week. whether than is all hitting this week and all pitching next, or 30/30, up to you or instructor(s) (and probably heavily dependent on if same or difffernt instructors). 30 minutes of good instruction will geive them plenty to work on their own for a week for a given skill.

 

[Jdeesso]

if she really wants it, and your family can accomodate it, no, pitching and hittng lessons at 10u is probably not "too much", but it depends what else she and the family have going on.

beware though, some will think it ridiculous, but they are the same ones who will wonder why suzy, who is pretty athletic, did not become an all star player at 10u by going to two rec practices a week and playing a couple of games a week. to excel, they need to work hard at it (but it can still be fun). if the desire is there, nothing wrong with helping them pursue it.
that being said, i would only do 60 minutes total of instruction a week. whether than is all hitting this week and all pitching next, or 30/30, up to you or instructor(s) (and probably heavily dependent on if same or difffernt instructors). 30 minutes of good instruction will geive them plenty to work on their own for a week for a given skill.

Thanks for the feed back. These suggestions are very helpful. When your in the middle of it sometimes is hard to see things in a different and valuable perspective.


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[texasck1]

You are really early in your families softball journey. Most of use have been there. The team she is on will do her no good. Go find a C class team that is about teaching. Check the local softball FB pages and see who is looking. Maybe pick up with one or 2 to see what it is like.

If your DD can pitch, meaning put a ball over the plate fairly regular, you will have no problem finding a team. Be patient.

And as far as staying out of it, you are your DD's advocate (or as I like to call it her agent). Watch and listen. Talk to her for her feelings and help guide her in the best direction. As she gets older your role will diminish, but you will still have a role.

 

[Strike2]

Also, in regards to your comment about pitching and hitting lessons at 10u. Serious, question, do you think that’s too much too early? We asked DD and she def like pitching and always asks when the next lesson is and said she wanted hitting lessons. We don’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do but maybe offering is too much. We don’t want to force anything on her or make her feel like she has to do anything she doesn’t want to.

No, I don't think it's too much or too early. If your DD is motivated, and it appears that she is, it's well worth the money and effort. DD took pitching lessons starting at 10U and pitched in Rec. Pitchers are made, but that requires some natural ability that only some possess. While DD had natural ability in terms of fielding, pitching just wasn't her gift, and we joke about that to this day. However, I would have regretted not trying.

What I WISH I had also done was hitting lessons earlier. While she did reasonably well at the plate with only me teaching her, she reached a wall, and the HS batting coach she started seeing as a 14yo really helped her grow. If I had it to do over again, she would have been going to that guy as a 8yo.

Don't let the hitting take a back seat...please. Pitching may or may not work out, but being able to hit will guarantee that she has a spot on a team for as long as she wants it. I asked DD yesterday how many times she's been out of the batting lineup, and she could only come up with one time five years ago.

Parents can certainly push too hard, but there's been a few times over the years where I asked DD to make a call...get to work or find another hobby. We've been at this nearly 14 years now.