I feel sorry for his DD. If it were my DD, she would be MORTIFIED that we interfered. She has been taught that playing time is earned and "practices" are "tryouts" where 100% effort is required. It is also a good lesson for parents to see that not all coaches "view" their kids in the same light, and that life isn't always "fair". To play a team sport requires doing whatever the coach thinks is best for the team (within safety guidelines, of course), and help out wherever needed. A kid with a great attitude and work ethic can go a long way - just as a bad parent can ruin a child's chances of success.
High School Parent Problem
- Thread starter coach52
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I do believe that there are kids who are better in games then in practices, and those who are better practice players then they are in games. However. A kid cannot be both better in games then practices, and picked off bases twice in a game because she is not focused on games that she does not start. These are excuses, nothing more.
HS Parent: I need to talk with you about my child's playing time.
HS Coach: Okay. How about 6:30pm Wednesday? Make sure you bring your child's uniform with you.
END OF STORY
HS Coach: Okay. How about 6:30pm Wednesday? Make sure you bring your child's uniform with you.
END OF STORY
Last time I checked none of these kids were getting paid, so it does matter whether they get to play or not. They all have goals whether it just be to get on the field, or play in college, or whatever. As parents/coaches, we should help them reach their goals if they're willing to work for it. That includes talking to them/their parents about how to get there.
I never believed as I coach I was above being talked to or talking to anybody.
If *at that point* the parent continues to be belligerent, then the tough conversations happen. But give everyone a chance to screw up a few times when their kids are involved, I say.
You can take that approach and STILL be viewed as strong if you are consistent and have the best interests of the girls/team at heart.
Coach52, don't be a hard rear just to be one. It doesn't seem your nature anyway...I was very impressed by your story. Keep at it, you've got the right idea on this I think...
I never believed as I coach I was above being talked to or talking to anybody.
If *at that point* the parent continues to be belligerent, then the tough conversations happen. But give everyone a chance to screw up a few times when their kids are involved, I say.
You can take that approach and STILL be viewed as strong if you are consistent and have the best interests of the girls/team at heart.
Coach52, don't be a hard rear just to be one. It doesn't seem your nature anyway...I was very impressed by your story. Keep at it, you've got the right idea on this I think...
Thanks everybody. At the time being it seems as if the situation has been resolved. His daughter has earned her start in LF tomorrow through practice this week, and I feel good about myself that I was able to lower my own ego and do what was in the best interest of the team, which was/is to play her.
I wasn't an 'a-hole' to him when he last called on Monday, but I was very assertive in my positions to not guarantee him or his daughter anything. I even shut him down several times when he started to bring it up. I told him that his daughter needed to be a team player, and that if she wants to remain on the team, she will play and practice where I want her. I even went as far as to tell him that he was doing a disservice by not allowing or not encouraging her to come and talk to me first. At the parent meeting, I told all of the parents and players that they were responsible young adults, and if a question of this nature came up, that the DD should come talk to me. Sure enough, this young lady came and apologized to me after practice on Monday and reiterated that she would do anything the team needed her to do (she even apologized on the behalf of her dad).
I assume, since he had coached his daughter every step of the way, that he saw freshman starting over her and became upset. Also, he saw a new, young coach and assumed that he could maybe bully his way into what he wanted (from talking to the AD, this isn't the first time this parent has had run-in's with the school).
Thanks again everybody, I appreciate all the advise.
I wasn't an 'a-hole' to him when he last called on Monday, but I was very assertive in my positions to not guarantee him or his daughter anything. I even shut him down several times when he started to bring it up. I told him that his daughter needed to be a team player, and that if she wants to remain on the team, she will play and practice where I want her. I even went as far as to tell him that he was doing a disservice by not allowing or not encouraging her to come and talk to me first. At the parent meeting, I told all of the parents and players that they were responsible young adults, and if a question of this nature came up, that the DD should come talk to me. Sure enough, this young lady came and apologized to me after practice on Monday and reiterated that she would do anything the team needed her to do (she even apologized on the behalf of her dad).
I assume, since he had coached his daughter every step of the way, that he saw freshman starting over her and became upset. Also, he saw a new, young coach and assumed that he could maybe bully his way into what he wanted (from talking to the AD, this isn't the first time this parent has had run-in's with the school).
Thanks again everybody, I appreciate all the advise.
