High School Parent Problem

[BaldNBeautiful]

Good that you had a parent meeting.

• If you were going to start her then start her. You don't even know if her dad told her he was making the phone call. However, after your game tonight, I'd let her know that the chain of command was broken by her father and that that is not acceptable.
• You should never talk about any other player with that dad. Once he began those talking points, you should have cut him off and let him know that you won't do that. Believe me, I've done that a million times. Focus on his kid. When he made the excuse that she is not focused, then I would have pointed out that if she can't focus when given a chance to be in the game then how can she be trused to focus any other time unless the dad wants to conceed that she is all about herself and could care less about the team.
• You have to find a good time to talk to this young lady about your expectations if she remains on the team. IMO, I'd let her know that if playing travel basketball is important to her, then she should go do that.
• You need to address the team and make it clear that the best play. Now, "the best" is your opinion at any given time and can change. However, there are good ways and bad ways to make you change your mind. Give examples of both good and bad.
• I'd make sure everyone knows that team comes first over any player. There are no stars. It takes every player on your roster to enable the team to win and so, if they don't want to be a part of that then they need to search themselves about what they want out of the sport.

JMHO!

ALL GREAT POINTS, I added these last year to my (Middle School) Parent-Coaches Meeting:
1. Don't talk to me immediately after a game
2. I will talk to you (parent) about playing time if you really feel it necessary, but ONLY if your daughter is there with us as we talk. AND if she has already talked to me to set up the meeting.

These two items cut down the grief considerably.

 

[JDBerry]

Allow me to relay something that recently happened in HS baseball. We have a decent baseball team. Won state championship a couple of years ago. Have sent some D1 players up, one SEC pitcher last year. Excellent head coach who actually is ex-MLB pitcher. Well, this year has been difficult. He had his "starters" in, made of mostly seniors. They were not performing, so he pulled the whole group. A parent of one of the seniors walked down to the edge of the dugout and was wearing out the 2 assistant coaches about pulling the seniors. The head coach finally walked over and told her to go sit down and let his coaches do their jobs. This was in the middle of the game.

She proceeded to walk around to the entrance of the dugout, into the dugout and told her son to come on, he's done playing baseball. On that day, momma made him quit in front of all of his buddies as a senior in high school.

 

[Comp]

She proceeded to walk around to the entrance of the dugout, into the dugout and told her son to come on, he's done playing baseball. On that day, momma made him quit in front of all of his buddies as a senior in high school.

Wife and I were at a HS softball tournament. We watched a pitchers mom walk into dugout and proceed to chew the coach a new one for at least 20 minutes. All because he had pulled her daughter after a melt down in the circle, giving up a 7 run lead and the team eventually losing the game. To this day I have no idea why the coach kept the girl on the team, other than I guess he felt he had to have her to make a run for state. The coach did quit after the season saying he had enough of players parents and was done coaching.

 

[quincy]

Not a helpful post but I do not want to find out what the consciences would be if I complained about DD’s position or playing time in school ball. 1 parent did and it did not go well for them.


I do not care so much about the coach, DD would stop talking to me for a while if I tried to interfere.

 

[JAD]

I would have told the dad that playing time is earned in practice.....high school ball is "play to win" and if he wants equal playing time for his DD, he needs to look into the local rec league!

 

[coach52]

Here's an update everybody. After the initial phone call, the parent called again twice on Monday. Both times I let it go to voicemail and didn't respond that night. The second voicemail was to tell me that his daughter was not going to be at the game tonight because she was 'sick.' We had a rough game last night, made quite a few errors in the field (very young team, no seniors), and got beat by a very solid 3A team. The DD in question, in mind, will get the chance to start tomorrow because of our two glaring holes at 3B and LF.

Same parent called again today while I'm at work. This time I answered. He immediately went into whether or not I could guarantee his daughter playing time and at-bats. I told him no (all the while knowing that she will tomorrow). He reiterates to me that he believes that his SO DD should get another crack at SS over the FR (who in 3 games, is hitting 4 for 8 and has not made an error). I said that his daughter will be a team player, and will play where I believe she can help the team the most. He didn't like this and got very agitated. I told him I was done with these conversations, and that if he wasn't satisfied, to contact the AD and not me from here on out.

Un-be-lievable. In all fairness, his daughter, once healthy, will probably grab hold of one of the two open spots and run away with it. I want the girl to succeed because she is a very respectful young lady, but I don't want her thinking that I did it just because daddy complained.

What an unreal set of circumstances 3 games into our season.

 

[coach52]

I would have told the dad that playing time is earned in practice.....high school ball is "play to win" and if he wants equal playing time for his DD, he needs to look into the local rec league!

The dad told me that practice and games are separate, and that the daughter will perform once it's game time. Haha, he serious?

 

[quincy]

The dad told me that practice and games are separate, and that the daughter will perform once it's game time. Haha, he serious?

He might be, I have seen big variations between practice and games both good and bad.

 

[PA SB Dad]

The dad told me that practice and games are separate, and that the daughter will perform once it's game time. Haha, he serious?

Yes, he is serious. Very delusional, but serious.

 

[MsDinosaur]

The dad told me that practice and games are separate, and that the daughter will perform once it's game time. Haha, he serious?

He's serious, but obviously he doesn't believe in the motto of "practice like you want to play."