gossip in the rumor mill

[JJsqueeze]

Jeeze....where are the parents in all this? If my daughter behaved like this to a teammate I would want to know about it and I would put an immediate stop to it. If the parents know about it and haven't stopped it then you know the source of the problem and nothing you can do about it so good riddance..

 

[bucket pinata]

Going after social media just seems like my Grandparents wanting to ban Elvis because of the hip undulation. Like it or not its part of the evolution of man/technology. Why don't we teach mutual respect and mature social skills instead ?

 

[Bucketmom]

Social media sucks. DD thank The Lord only allowed very limited room on that. And I am friended on the 2 she does have.
She used to fight me all the time until she robs a txt msg from a friend. The txt was a screen shot from some "social site" of somebody talking about planted bombs at school in support if the Two that bombed MD.
Because she was not on that chat site she was only questioned by local police and did not undergo FBI investigation or confiscation of electronics as the others did.
Another incident just recently a player was talking like a sailor and wearing her team uniform as profile pic. Coach called voiced is opinion and said to stop or change her profile pix

 

[Onegameonelove12]

both my DDs teams this does not happen. Both coaches spend 30% of the time teaching what it means to be a good a teammate and the value of sisterhood.To the point they have 30 minute meeting complete with personal notebooks before practice.In a real team there are no clicks.

YES knowledge is power. We sometimes forget that some girls truly don't know the importance and benefits of team cohesion.
I gave a version of this to my JC team and then had an open discussion. It really seemed to help!

Lets start out with a simple definition. In the perspective of sports psychology, team cohesion is defined as: A dynamic process reflected in the tendency for a group to stick together and remain united in the pursuit of its goals and objectives. However, underneath this definition there are two separate aspects of team cohesion, social cohesion and task cohesion. Social cohesion is the interpersonal attractions among group members, or in other words, how well your players get along in a social setting. Task cohesion is the degree to which group members work together to achieve common goals and objectives. Both are of the up-most importance in having a successful season. In fact, in a survey of 65 U.S. coaches who participated in the 1996 Atlanta and 1994 Nagano Olympic games, team cohesion was identified by the coaches as one of the three top factors influencing success at the Olympics. (Coaching the Inner Edge, Vealey, 2005) It’s logical for cohesion to be such a strong factor to success in team sports, we are forced to work together to win, it’s impossible to win a team sporting event by yourself.

Success and cohesion

Performance and cohesion are circular; they will both result from each other. Team cohesion promotes success on a team, and success promotes team cohesion.
More for female teams than male teams


A great example of task cohesion is the “V-formation” geese fly in. They fly in this formation because when the front goose flaps its wings he creates an updraft for the goose directly behind him, allowing them to use a lot less energy to fly. When the lead goose gets tired he falls to the back and another geese takes the lead position. It is said that geese can fly 71% farther this way then they could alone. People who share a common objective or goal, can attain that goal more successfully and easily if they collaborate with one another. It is even noted, that if a goose is wounded and falls out of formation, two other geese will follow him, and stay with him until he can re-join the formation again, or until he dies.

What coaches must realize is that team cohesion is something that ebbs and flows, once you have it doesn’t mean you are automatically going to keep it. It is something that must constantly be worked on, just like the fundamental skills that are worked on everyday in practice. Teams go through stages as they become more cohesive; forming, storming, norming, and performing. These stages aren’t linear, a team may reach norming, and then fall back into the storming stage.

Forming: People are starting to get to know each other, sizing each other up, familiarizing themselves with each other. Interpersonal relationships are formed, team structure is developed, people are constantly comparing themselves to others. It’s basically the “getting to know each other” stage. A great example of this is on the TV show “The Real World”. In the first couple of days there are a lot of questions asked, deciding on whom to room with. Then on about the 3rd night drama, or conflict, happens; they enter the storming stage.

Storming: the storming stage is characterized by rebellion, resistance to control, interpersonal conflict, looking out for self playing time, why am I not starting uncertainties arise, and cliques start to form.

Norming: Hostility is replaced with development towards solidarity, cooperation, and a general consensus of working together towards goals.

Performing: This stage is the ultimate goal in team success. There is no self-channeled energies, players aren’t thinking about themselves anymore. It’s all about their teammates and how they can succeed as a group. In this stage peak performance is possible. The team is able to solve problems without personal feelings being threatened. There is no bitterness about playing time, players understand their roles, and understand what is best for the team. It is said that most teams don’t get here, this stage is usually reserved for Olympic gold medalist teams, or world series champs.

Sometimes as a coach its hard to tell where your team might be within these stages. When I was coaching at the junior college, I actually gave my players this information and asked them where they thought we were. Everything was confidential, and it was very beneficial for me, as a coach, to hear individual perspectives and combine them together to distinguish the big picture.

In order to create team cohesion, the entire team must be deeply committed to engaging in self-reflection, honest and open dialogue, and the behavioral changes necessary to sustain an optimal team climate. Show your players that if they are a T.E.A.M. they will achieve more;Together Everyone Achieves More. Although we’ve all used and heard the quote “there is no I in team”, there actually is, and we like to refer to that “I” as T.R.Y. Take Responsibility for Yourself. Each athlete must be doing his or her part to nurture a cohesive team culture. Every athlete on a team must T.R.Y. for T.E.A.M. to happen. Remind your players that they aren’t just friends, they’re teammates. Being a teammate gives each athlete a special status, and it gives each of their teammates the responsibility of supporting and respecting each other. There are times when your players will have conflicts,and that’s not always a bad thing. Teach them to view conflict as a wave, it can have the potential to knock them down, or sweep them forward. An argument that is resolved results in greater team growth, unlike an unresolved issue that is swept under the carpet and left to boil and add frustration.

As a coach, you need to help your athletes create an atmosphere where they can push each other to their limits. An atmosphere where they can challenge each other to work harder without anyone feeling threatened. Encourage your players to verbally appreciate their teammates efforts when hard work is being demonstrated. By hard work I don’t necessarily mean success, players who are working hard and struggling, should be verbally recognized by their teammates too. There will be times when some of your athletes start to slack off, create an environment where their teammates can respectfully motivate them to work harder. Inspire your players to pick each other up when they fail, and congratulate each other when they find success. Your team will get so much more out of each other than we as coaches ever could.

So what does this atmosphere look like on a day to day basis at practice? Players are competitive at practice every day; they try to out due each other. They are disciplined and work their hardest with out slacking, even when the coaches aren’t watching. Everyday they are personally committing to creating an environment where team chemistry can thrive. There is constant chatter between athletes, encouraging, congratulating, and motivating each other throughout practice. Players are giving their all, even during the basic mundane drills to ensure their game is fundamentally strong. They are focused and cognitively aware at practice to guarantee that they are mentally strong.

 

[CoachAl]

There might be some good to come out of all this James. This is actually a scenario I haven't really thought much about (and I coach 14u!). Our fall season just started and I will be discussing this very thing with the team soon. It is NOT in our parent/player agreement but will be for next season for sure. I'm assuming there are other coaches on here that will be doing the same. And, I love the example of the college coach refusing to let a player travel due to this kind of thing.

Just wanted you to be aware you may indeed be helping others by bringing this front and center...even though I know it's a very bad position for you to be in right now. Coaches have to deal with a lot of drama and I guess this is yet another way for it to creep in undetected for the most part until it blows up!

 

[Onegameonelove12]

It could be a good lessoned learned for the girls as well, especially if you find a way to handle it constructively.

 

[justanotherguy]

I have to honestly ask, is this a more normal thing with girls? My DD plays baseball, and boys just don't act like this for the most part. If they don't like you, well, they just don't like you. There's no constant backbiting, backstabbing, and cruelty. This is the number one reason my DD doesn't like TB softball. Any time she's tried, the girls just treat her like she's trash. Every rec and travel baseball team my DD has been on, most of the boys got along great with her. Is this what we get to look forward to should she switch to SB in the future?

 

[Cannonball]

Not every team is this way and so I'd estimate that the majority of teams get a long well. My dd never played on a team that back stabbed each other. Now that they are all in college, the make plans each winter to spend the night at our house in a team get together. As far as I know, not one player has missed this event. As I have often posted, they will all be in each other's weddings.

Per the baseball, that is up to you and your daughter. I don't know her ability and whether she stands a chance to play college baseball. Some, but not all dads here are here in part to gain knowledge to better enable them to serve as a resource for their dds should they want to play at higher levels.

 

[justanotherguy]

Oh, I don't even begin to think she'll play baseball in college. The only way she'll get past high school (if that far) is off her knuckleball. She wants to play with girls, but every time she does at a higher level, they're just little witches.

I come here because I want to learn more about SB, should she make that switch. Also, because we're parents of girls. My DD might be a bit of a tomboy, but she's still a girl.

 

[Cannonball]

Justanotherguy, there is team out there that she will fit in with. It might be harder to find in some areas than others. Still, if she intends to play softball then the sooner you find a team that fits her ability etc. the sooner she will begin the adjustment. My dd grew up hitting baseballs as parts of drill work. She adjusted just fine.