Dwindling Team, Part 2

[Sparky Guy]

Looks like it's every man for himself. Dd is a wreck. I'm ticked off but don't really know who to be ticked at. Parents that left? Coaches for not telling us what was going on? Program for not being better? Other teams who picked us over and started this whole cycle? Myself, for not seeing it when I had a hunch or not realizing that this team wasn't the right place for my kid? I don't know. Everyone says it's just the nature of the sport - but this part feels like a big truckload of b.s. to me.

Unfortunately, you've taken the introductory course at the softball school of hard knocks where they give the test then teach you the lesson. Hope you find a place for your DD. Sounds like the team was destined to fail from the start.

 

[nicelag]

That's what we did. Going to tournaments gives you the opportunity to see how the teams play and coaches coach. From there you can get some team practice info when you narrow it down, and go to a few of those as well. I was given some words of wisdom last year when exploring travel ball for my 9yo DD.

1. Shop coaches - Too many people only shop organizations.

2. Never play for a friend

3. Never play for a friend

4. Lastly - Never play for a friend. Unless of course you no longer care to be friends! Yes, this is exactly what he told me.

 

[marriard]

It is hard for coaches & parents to acknowledge that it is all falling apart and just needs to be blown up. Especially coaches & parents on their first go round.

We played a team last week that when viewed from the outside, it is really obvious that this is going to happen to them. We made sure to talk to the parents of the players we would consider from their team (we have 2 roster spots intentionally left open for when this sort of thing happens) - not to ask them to leave but to make sure that we are on their mind when they do. We are not going to hasten the process, but we are sure going to be there when it goes down.

 

[PEPPERS]

Don't know what part of the country you are in, but in our area they are a few message boards sights that have teams looking for players and players looking for teams. When DD team was not playing she would search for teams needing a player to field a roster for a weekend, she played for a number of teams when her team would take a week off during summer ball.

Eteamz has message boards also for different parts of the country you may try there.

 

[GuerrillaBall]

Don't know what part of the country you are in, but in our area they are a few message boards sights that have teams looking for players and players looking for teams. When DD team was not playing she would search for teams need a player to field a roster for a weekend, she played for a number of teams when her team would take a week off during summer ball.

Eteamz has message boards also for different parts of the country you may try there.

Oh yeah, we have a board. That's another subject entirely. The parent who just left the team posted a scathing post about what kind of team she's looking for vs. what kind of team she left, including names. Effectively putting the last nail in the coffin for the team. Not many girls are going to want to join a team that has that kind of b.s.

I don't care how p.o.'d I was at a coach or organization - I wouldn't ever do that because I think it reflects on my kid and my family more than the team I'm leaving. I don't coach softball but I have coahced other sports - and I know that there are red flags that we look for in parents. That kind of post is definitely one.

 

[crd1998]

Oh yeah, we have a board. That's another subject entirely. The parent who just left the team posted a scathing post about what kind of team she's looking for vs. what kind of team she left, including names. Effectively putting the last nail in the coffin for the team. Not many girls are going to want to join a team that has that kind of b.s.

I don't care how p.o.'d I was at a coach or organization - I wouldn't ever do that because I think it reflects on my kid and my family more than the team I'm leaving. I don't coach softball but I have coahced other sports - and I know that there are red flags that we look for in parents. That kind of post is definitely one.

The parents of the player that left have ruined some future opportunities for their daughter by making that post. Not sure about your area but where we are this would travel like wildfire in the travel softball community. The effects of crazy parents on a team can be ugly, have had to witness it a couple of times. Coaches also evaluate parents as well as the players, no coach wants a player that has problem parents no matter how good that player is.

The last time one of my daughters left a team she started out subbing for different teams on weekends. Eventually she picked up with a team that lost a couple of players. Funny thing is that one of the players that left is on a team with my daughter this season. Not sure what transpired there, when at her games I usually sit with the girls parents down the side line.

Good luck to your daughter.

 

[CoachAl]

For the record, I still think you did the right thing. You were willing to try and be part of the solution rather than be part of the problem. By doing that, you have probably earned a reputation as a very sane sports parents that "gets it." I'm guessing some of these other parents have earned a different kind of reputation. I wouldn't be too hard on the coach unless you know for sure he was hiding something from you. It is quite possible he didn't grasp the full extent of this. Crazy parents can be very underhanded with this kind of thing. Lastly, follow JADs advice...guest play A LOT. Don't be in a hurry to find the next permanent team.