Delusional Parents

[Bouldersdad]

Those dreams will eventually come to light one way or another, by the time they are 16 they will know what direction they are heading. Alot of the time it is the parents that create the issues in recruiting. If your dd is at the age of 16 isnt a drop dead stud. dosent play at the largest and most well know tournaments where the top 25 recruit from, Visit these schools and attend their camps, then you should get a general idea of their future.

If only about 1 percent play D1 what is the percentage that go on to play at a top 25 school? The number is pretty small, and almost unobtainable for most kids that play the sport. It all starts with mom and dad, Be realistic, take off the mommy and daddy goggles and look at your kid honestly and as a coach would look at her, being truthful about your dd,s skill set is one of the hardest things a parent has to do. The next is guiding your child in the direction that is best for her.

In the 17 years I have coached I have seen so many kids that are juniors and seniors that still send out letters to the bigger schools, UK, UT, Mich, OSU to name a few and never leave the state playing lower level or mid level ball thinking they will be seen as a diamond in the rough and then are disappointed that they were not contacted. Or ask me why these colleges do not reply back when I e mail them, not knowing or wanting to know the truth about recruiting at that level. Its all about educating your self parents and players alike on recruiting.

Tim

 

[joeman39]

Boulder you are correct... what is sad is that it's becoming a money game and who you know game... I have seen kids that can play but just don't have the money to go to these tournaments... that don't have the money to go to the school camps.... the tournaments keep going up and college camps keep going up and peoples paycheck stay or go down.... I usually tell them to check the juco route and it has helped alot of them. People need to get off the D1 dream boat and look real hard.

 

[chinamigarden]

Not sure how to address this without hurting feelings, crushing dreams, or being deemed crazy...

There are parents on my kid's travel team that truly think that their kids can play at the State Flagship U. This is a large university and most of the players come from out of state. Currently the U has one freshman, one sophomore and one senior from in state. I know the sophomore - my eldest played on a team with her (though my eldest was by no means D1 material).

They also think that their kids will earn academic scholarships at certain schools because they are "A" students. Now I don't know the SAT scores of every kid on the team (many have not taken SATs yet), but I am pretty sure that they won't get the big merit scholarships from the schools they are talking about. I looked up stats of kids who have won these scholarships and the lowest SAT score I saw was 2250.

My kid is one of the weaker players on the team and I already have been brushed off when I commented about the importance of SAT scores (parent said the coach said they hardly even look at SAT scores, just GPA). I know that is not true as my eldest and many of her friends applied to the school in question last year.

I guess I should discuss with the coach, and maybe he can let them down gently/redirect them. He would agree with everything I have said as we have had some prior conversations about college (mainly about academics). What do you suggest?

I would stay clear of it. If kids on the team have delusions of grander, so what? If other parents think their little suzy is a genius, so what? If you are not the coach, stay out of it. If you are the coach, unless its somehow affecting your team, stay out of it. Let a kid have a dream for crying out loud.

 

[GatorGirl]

I guess the big question is ARE YOU BEING ASKED? I have a tendency to offer up info when I haven't been asked just because I think it is my duty to correct others or save them from themselves. Well people don't want to be corrected or saved and sticking my nose in always makes me end up being the bad guy. Keep you peace and sanity and let them do what they want. Only offer up when they ask and keep all your work and researched focused on your own DD.

I can only go by what you have posted so if there is something missing, don't hate me for sticking my nose in. LOL

GG

PS Parents with dreams of scholarships always get a big eye roll from me(remember we are at 10U rec. ball, not the level of many of you on here). I think of all the things that can happen between now and then and think wow. That's why I started a college fund the day each DD were born.

 

[splinterpicker]

We are right in the middle of the college carousel and the longer it goes the more cynical I become. My DD is currently being recruited by several colleges so that is not my issue. To me the purity of softball is at stake. It used to be a game everyone could play in hopes of getting better and it did not matter what height, weight, or how fast someone was. Teams used to play for championships instead of playing for individual exposure. Now most tournaments are round robins where it really does not matter who wins, just keep track of how many college coaches are watching. Where i live 14 yr olds verbaling are kinda like sighting of big foot, you hear about them, but never actually see one. That alone puts parents into a feeding frenzy looking for the next best team. It used to be rec ball was just about girls making all stars. Travel ball was about winning championships and being in a program that produced well trained ball players. Now the TB programs are judged on how many get to the next level. I just do not want to see softball go the way of football and basketball. Where there are so many that get scholarships and never graduate. That is my last thing verbaling to colleges at such a young age. Kids mature at different ages and I just do not get how coaches can predict who will be college material 4 yrs in advance. Thats my rant, got it off my chest and will shut up about it now.

 

[ArkFastpitch]

I have tried to make my DD see softball as a possible means to a great education. I don't care if its D1, DIII or CC. There isn't much softball life after college so all that's left is the education.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

Here is my perspective on all this:

Worst thing ever would be to try and limit the goals for a child. (Bet ya Pete Rose or Mike Singletary never had mentors limiting their horizons!) But ya have to temper this with a teaching of "be ready for all options". There were many voices from DD's little-minded hs, both peers & staff, that would just laugh at DD in her striving for her Top-25 D1 goal. Telling her that she's smoking dope for thinking she was going to go D1. I told DD that these were little minds at play that were potentially molded into thinking small by their mentors, with potentially some added jealousy. I also drove it into DD that one of the biggest regrets I had in my life was not going after how good & how far my sport could have taken me. (obviously I would have liked to have taken it further by my choice). "would of / could of / should of's" in life SUCK.

Back to what others have said here and I say it too. You have to teach kids to be ready for multiple outcomes. Back as an entering freshman DD only had top 25 D1 on her mind. In fact back at that time none of us really knew what that might even mean except for tv-time.... But as time goes by you start to learn more about yourself and more about your options. For my DD I think she is landing right where she wants & needs to be = In a competitive mid-D1 environment while at the same time she can still get a great education. We know only in the last year or so that this mid-D1 environment IS her match.

But please - don't limit goals for kids, BUT teach them to be flexibly ready for options in a world that never goes according to plan....

 

[JAD]

I guess I should discuss with the coach, and maybe he can let them down gently/redirect them. He would agree with everything I have said as we have had some prior conversations about college (mainly about academics). What do you suggest?

My best advice would be to not say a word. Parents will find out how their DD "measures up" athletically and academically on their own. In the mean time if anyone asks for your opinion, emphasize working hard in school, because when a softball player graduates from college there is no NBA, NFL, MLB, or NHL......