DD informs me she intends to play in college

[Momo'sDad]

Years ago, my Mojo said she wanted to play at UCLA. She said it half-jokingly, expressing how "awesome" it would be to play there.

In the years since, there were no more mentions of playing ball in college at all, at least none that I could recall. But she's always said that her top school choices were UCLA, Carolina, and Cal, so I've stayed on her about grades and the need to prepare for the gatekeepers' admission testing system. I've always been adamant about her choosing her own path, but until yesterday, I had no idea she intended to play ball in college. While acknowledging that every kid's personalities, talents, and goals are different, I have learned a tremendous amount over the years from those of you who have older daughters, but have no clue what to do at this point. I have a ridiculous amount of questions, in large part because I don't want *my* future plan to be hers, unless it was hers to begin with.

She will turn 13 this summer and enter 8th grade in the fall. She's a good student with a high aptitude for math, but isn't really being challenged in our school system. When she was younger, she did not qualify for the gifted program, so she missed out on that track altogether. That may have been a small blessing in disguise, however, as participation in the program would've required changing schools. I try to supplement her classroom instruction when I can, but I'm not always diligent about it. When I was her age, everyone in my group had already taken the PSAT by now. She doesn't know anyone who has. That's just a small example, but overall, I'm not of the impression that where we have her in school is going to prepare her to be able to compete well for a slot at the most competitive universities and the 3 schools at the top of her list are among the most competitive in the country. I would love to be proven wrong, of course. Personally, I would like to see her pursue her goal of attending 1 of those schools because of the network of future opportunities she'd potentially gain access to, but my reluctance to push her in that direction goes to my earlier point about not wanting to select her path for her.

Softball-wise, she's a solid, all-around player and great teammate. She's average height and weight at about 5-4, 120 lbs and has average speed, although she seems to sprout wings between 1st and 3rd. She can play all 9 positions. A coach is not going to build a team around her, but she can fill in wherever a program needs her. She could probably find a job on most any team in our area. The organization she's with now has a great support system with respect to getting players exposure and recruitment opportunities. I've never said "you can't play at UCLA or Cal because you're not tall or fast or whatever", but I have said "you won't get into UCLA or Cal without the grades".

So, I guess my question is, what now? I have always prioritized life after softball as the primary reason for selecting a school and I am happy she would like to attend a school with a good academic reputation. I haven't ever talked to her about graduate school, but she believes the best opportunities for undergraduate internships in broadcasting would be in SoCal or in the northeast. If her plan is to continue playing ball, do I need to help her identify the list of schools with her prospective major and then find out which ones have softball? Or should there be a greater focus on finding scholarship money so that she can play somewhere and get help paying for it with the recognition that undergraduate major may have nothing to do at all with where she lands or what she's doing 20 years from now?

There have never been any scholarship athletes in either her mom's family or mine, so we've got no close relations with anyone who can provide firsthand information about the process. I think my main question for the moment - and it's a biggie - is: what is the parent's role in all of this? And how much of the decision-making is to be made or even guided by the parents? Thanks for any guidance you can provide.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

i would send her to Candrea's overnight camp. It is excellent for her age group and she can see a campus and dorms.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Welcome to that long bumpy road of preparing for college!!

Yes, in my opinion, you as the parent should always be involved in "guiding" your kids throughout the process, as it can be overwhelming at times. Most everyone who loves a sport dreams of playing college ball, it's a short lived glamour that once they get there, more times than not..........it fades fast. The demanding schedule of a collegiate student athlete is like nothing they have ever experienced. Some can handle it, some can't, some will sacrifice their academic load to play ball and extend the time at college after eligibility.

Most of us will never make a dime off ball after college, that's a fact. There is a "balance" that one must find on how much an athletic scholarship will help financially, how much academic money they can get awarded, how much financial debt one is willing ( and able ) to handle, what degree they want, how many years of schooling via the athletic or academic ( or both ) road they choose.

I believe Sluggers at one time posted majors of collegiate athletes, and most are pretty useless in the real world.

Many ways to get a quality education, many ways to get a quality education and play ball, many ways to get most of your tuition payed for. NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL.

Just a few personal examples:
My brother played D1 4 years, on a academic scholarship. Super smart guy. Finished up in four years and is a Financial Analyst.

I played 3 years D1 on a partial athletic and some small academic funds. Not so super smart guy, . I had to quit the senior year because of studies. I'm a Solutions Advisor for the Fed.

Brother's oldest just graduated this past December, played D2 for 4 years on partial athletic and academic, had to do an extra semester for 2 classes not available with the athletic schedule. A little above normal smarts. He's a CPA.

Brother's youngest is currently playing D1 for the Air Force Falcons, 100% scholarship but not defined as athletic nor academic. It's a complicated military agreement I won't bore you with. Very very smart, will be an Areo Space Engineer.

My DD got a full Juco athletic, quit ball after the first year, struggled with C/B's while playing. She's now on the Dean's list, A average. Will transfer her credits to a 4 year next fall and get her BSN. Very intellectually smart, but really has to concentrate on book learning.

Don't let anyone encourage or discourage you either way, it's a very personal decision based on what's available and what you can handle physically, emotionally, academically, and financially.

I hope others will post their experience, pros and cons.

 

[MNDad]

Get involved and assist her as much as you can without being over bearing. She needs to take ownership of the process, but she’s still a child and needs direction. Keep it fun! Aim for her dream schools, but encourage her to expand the scope of her search. Visit a number of campuses to see what attributes she likes or dislikes in a college. She may discover that what she thought was her top choice is surpassed by oneshe never would have considered.

Look more for a college that’s a good fit than what kind of scholarship she can get. Too many kids go off to college and return home to Mom and Dad. When you’re talking schools like UCLA and CAL, they’re turning away blue chip athletes. Keep the dream alive, but also be realistic. There are very few full ride scholarships. If cost is an issue look at in state schools or states that have tuition reciprocity agreements. Out of state tuition can cost more even with a scholarship.

Look for recruiting seminars in your area or search the internet for information. Chances are your travel program has a recruiting coordinator or parents that have been through the process that will gladly share info.

Good luck!

 

[Rocketech1]

UC Berkeley (Cal) and UCLA are part of the 9 University of California (UC) undergraduate campuses. Acceptance rate for applicants at Cal is 18% and UCLA 20%. If you are in the top 9% of high school students in the state, you are automatically accepted to one of the 9 campuses but not necessarily your UC choice.

As you know, those two schools are highly selective for admissions to its freshman class. For example, for incoming freshman the average weighted GPA at Cal is 4.39 (obviously AP and Honors classes give the student the ability to get better than a 4.0). I don't know what the average freshman GPA is for the student-athlete who enters the softball program but I would think its well north of 3.5?

Some things to consider:

- She needs to take every AP/Honors class available to her.
- She needs to start thinking about what classes she will take in high school since she is preparing for them now. For example, she realistically needs 4 year highest math, 3 years laboratory sciences, 3 years foreign language, etc.
- She needs to find the best travel ball team in her area and be a starter. Many travel teams are already attending 14U college showcases.
- This summer or next (at the latest) attend the softball camps where she can meet and be seen by the coaches. For example, at UCLA in addition to the regular junior softball camps, they have the Academy and ID camps with advanced instruction and competitive games where they are certainly evaluating potential recruits. When my DD was 9YO, she did one of the overnight softball camps and had a great time, got to see the campus, coached by the UCLA players and coaching staff. I would think it would be a must for any serious recruit to attend one of the advanced clinics.
- She should have some other options if she wants to play softball in college. For example, UC Davis and UC San Diego have softball programs, albeit, they won't be going to the WCWS.
- Each school's softball program will only have 4 or 5 freshman openings 100's of players are trying out for these few coveted spots. She needs to the best of the best.

Lastly, she should talk with some college graduates who played softball in college to make sure she knows what the program entails and how great a commitment it is to be a student-athlete.

Good luck.

 

[JAD]

This is not a "one size fits all" answer. You have a find a balance between academics, finances, and athletics. If your DD is a STUD athlete and gets a full ride, the finances are not much of an issue, and every coaches would LOVE to have a academic all-american who is on a full academic scholarship. Some parents are also willing to pay for their DD's to attend the school of her choice and "walk on" to the softball team. Most players are somewhere in-between. Keep in mind that out-of-state tuition can be $40K+/year at some schools, which is still $20K+ with a 50% scholarship....Scholarship offers can also be "stair stepped" - 50% her freshman year, 50% her sophomore year, 75% her junior year and 100% her senior year. Make sure you understand all of your "out of pocket" costs.

My suggestion is to have a Top-10. The top-3 can be her "dream schools", the next 5 should be "good fits" both academically and athletically, and the last 2 can be "fall back" options. Start contacting the college coaches of all 10 when she starts high school and attend as many of their camps and clinics as time and finances will allow.

As others have mentioned you should also encourage her to find a major that will provide marketable job skills when she graduates from college. Very few softball players are making a living playing ball. Enjoy the process and do not let the anxiety suck the fun out of playing ball for your DD.

 

[BobInMadison]

As everyone else has said, the answer for one kid is different from the answer for another.

I have one kid in college, and he is a student athlete at a D3 school. He is studying mechanical engineering at the Milwaukee School of Engineering (a good private undergrad college), and is on the rowing team. He is still a freshman, and the balance between academics and athletics is already getting tough for him.

In his case, this was a school that met his criteria. He wanted to get away from home, but not TOO far from home, and especially liked Milwaukee. Also, he wanted a school with a good ME program. Finally, he wanted a school that had a strong rowing team, but not so strong that he couldn't make the team.

That left one school in the country that fit all his criteria. So, he applied to MSOE, got a partial academic scholarship, and is loving it.

OTOH, none of his sisters would even consider MSOE.
DD #1 has her heart set on UW Madison, and already has an academic scholarship lined up. She gave up softball a couple of years ago, so that is not a factor.
DD #2 has an academic scholarship at UW Madison lined up, but might not want to go there. She might prefer a D3 school, perhaps on the east coast. She was very briefly on her school's track team this spring, until an injury sidelined her. I have no idea if she would want to run track at a D3 school.
DD #3 is a few months older than your DD, about the same height, but a LOT skinnier. (Her sisters say she would have to gain weight to be considered skinny). DD #3 is really into softball, and is considering playing college ball, but has no idea where she would want to attend college. So far she has only met one college coach.

 

[BobInMadison]

I should mention, there is always a danger with one's "dream school", unless one REALLY knows the program.

Consider a cousin of mine. Star football player in HS, got offered a scholarship at Colorado. Not a bad school. However, he had always dreamed of attending Oklahoma. His parents were both OU alumni. So were all his grandparents. His family has a LOT of money, so money was no object.

His parents agreed to pay his way at Oklahoma, where he was a walk-on, and a red-shirt his freshman year.

That was a complete disaster. Coach BS ran a very shoddy, immoral program. Coach BS had groupies waiting for him outside practice, would never interact with the students, (the ACs did all the work), and would run off with the groupies after practice. BS was married at the time, and had a family. In fact, BS' son had my mother as an instructor at Arkansas, where BS had played college ball with JJ and JJ. At one point, my cousin taught some teammates how to shoot guns, and one of them shot another teammate. My cousin was off to a JUCO right after that.

A certain amount of due diligence is required.

For example, my son had 2 HS coaches who knew his future college coach. The college coach had once been a HS coach, and had coached one of DS' coaches. Also, he was a former teammate of another one of DS' HS coaches. So, no surprises.

 

[RetiredCoach]

My DDs have always had playing softball in college as a goal. However, my oldest DD who is 16 is examining whether or not that is really what she wants to do. She, currently, plays JV and between school and softball she has almost no time for friends or anything else. It is good that she has this reality now to help her decide because that is the way it will be for her in college. We'll see what she comes up with.

 

[Pdiddy]

This is not a "one size fits all" answer. You have a find a balance between academics, finances, and athletics. If your DD is a STUD athlete and gets a full ride, the finances are not much of an issue, and every coaches would LOVE to have a academic all-american who is on a full academic scholarship. Some parents are also willing to pay for their DD's to attend the school of her choice and "walk on" to the softball team. Most players are somewhere in-between. Keep in mind that out-of-state tuition can be $40K+/year at some schools, which is still $20K+ with a 50% scholarship....Scholarship offers can also be "stair stepped" - 50% her freshman year, 50% her sophomore year, 75% her junior year and 100% her senior year. Make sure you understand all of your "out of pocket" costs.

My suggestion is to have a Top-10. The top-3 can be her "dream schools", the next 5 should be "good fits" both academically and athletically, and the last 2 can be "fall back" options. Start contacting the college coaches of all 10 when she starts high school and attend as many of their camps and clinics as time and finances will allow.

As others have mentioned you should also encourage her to find a major that will provide marketable job skills when she graduates from college. Very few softball players are making a living playing ball. Enjoy the process and do not let the anxiety suck the fun out of playing ball for your DD.

this is really right on the "money"....and great advise on the reality of scholarships.