Daddy Ball

[HunterMO]

I am a AC on my DD's team. I try very hard to separate, Dad from coach. Team practice and game time, Its the coach hat, not dad hat. When I was first approached by the HC to be a AC, I spoke to my DD one on one and told her that she will not get any special treatment. She is to earn everything just like all the other players. I've always been hesitant to be a coach on my DD's team, because I didn't want the relationship to be ruined, because I couldn't separate coach and dad. Its a tough thing. I let her bring up any games on the ride home.

I’ve been an AC for DD’s team the last two years. It’s been a lot of fun. Last year was a learning curve for both of us. And this year was waaaay easier. The boundaries of Dad vs Coach were clearer and our conversations easier.

I’ll also say being her coach has helped us grow closer outside of softball. And helped create better communication at home. It’s been great.

This will be my last year coaching her as she’ll move into a higher level program in Fall. It’s bitter-sweet. Bummed I won’t be on the field with her anymore. But I’m really looking forward to just sitting back and watching her play.

 

[clemenslee1]

I’ve been an AC for DD’s team the last two years. It’s been a lot of fun. Last year was a learning curve for both of us. And this year was waaaay easier. The boundaries of Dad vs Coach were clearer and our conversations easier.

I’ll also say being her coach has helped us grow closer outside of softball. And helped create better communication at home. It’s been great.

This will be my last year coaching her as she’ll move into a higher level program in Fall. It’s bitter-sweet. Bummed I won’t be on the field with her anymore. But I’m really looking forward to just sitting back and watching her play.

I will say its been a blast to do it!

 

[wdleggett]

Non parent coaches....may or may not make it better. It depends on the coach, their experience, their approach and style. So many trash "parents" coaching and label it "daddy ball". When in reality most parents are tougher on their own kid. SOME people like to use the "daddy ball" excuse for why their kid isn't playing or getting better etc etc etc.

Ran across this FB post recently and I thought the person summed up the majority of the parents. (Majority...not all)



POST BELOW:


I want to give those of you who like to use the “daddy ball” excuse for everything a little perspective..
Most of these dads who are coaching your kids aren’t getting paid.. they are doing it because they love the game. And while some might give their kid special treatment, most are treating their kid much worse to avoid the stigma.
These dads are spending nights of the week and entire weekends away from their family and their other kids to be with YOUR kids.
They are taking care of rosters, lineups, practice plans, fielding complaints from upset parents, constantly worrying about parents gossiping behind their back, stressing out about losing kids to other team’s, and trying their best to keep everyone happy (which if you haven’t figured it out by now is impossible.)
They do ALL of this for FREE, in fact in most cases they are using their own money for equipment, gas, paying the remainder when a kid falls short, or picking up the excess when a kid quits mid season.
Why would they do all of this? Well for me.. it’s about sharing my passion for the game with others.. it’s about being able to spend time with my daughter doing something we both enjoy.. it’s about making memories and it’s about seeing that smile on a kids face when they finally get something they have been working on. It’s about all the failures that make the successes feel so great. It’s about seeing a stud inside a kid that no one else has given a chance, and believing in them... It’s about the relationships and the friendships that will last a lifetime.
So while there are some bad apples.. some dads who get into it for the wrong reasons, and give others a bad name... I would say that’s not the rule.. it’s the exception.. this term “daddy ball” is an insult to all the dads out there who are doing it for the right reasons with little to no recognition... Keep ur head up fellas don’t let bitter parents and ungrateful kids keeping you from impacting lives in a positive way.. The game needs you and the kids need you..

You’re absolutely right I’ve always been much tougher on my kid than anyone else and typically she would get into trouble for doing something once where others were constantly doing it. I just waited and used her as an example. I had one parent get upset because I made the whole team run foul poles because of the attitude of a couple and they said it should only be the ones doing it not everyone being punished. I pointed to my kid and said “that’s my kid in full catchers gear and she wasn’t even around so if she can run the three laps everyone else can too”.

 

[3girls]

Some dads are great...others aren’t. My son plays for a coach that has two sons on the team, but is a great coach for all the kids. My daughters played for a team where a mom coached and it was terrible. She only cared about her daughter pitching and she honestly wasn’t great at pitching.

 

[mmeece]

To all the dad coaches that don’t favour their own kid, I applaud you.
Unfortunately, true “daddy ball” is all I have seen where we live. We have seen Daddy coaches cut the best player because he wants his own daughter to be the all- star. Ironically, cutting the best pitcher doesn’t make your own dd better. Most of the dad coaches we had seen just don’t have any integrity and usually they’re only there for their own kid, not anyone else’s kid, not for the love of coaching and certainly not for the love of the game.
Non- parent coaches are not the be all and end all but at least it is a step in the right direction.

We all have different experiences, and I've seen parent coaches go both directions, but far more often than not the best coaches I've seen are parent coaches or at least started that way. The IDEA of a non-parent coach sounds great but more often than not what I have seen is that you end up with a coach who is less committed and has no real vested interest in the players. I think parents also forget that non-parent coaches play favorites too, maybe even more often than parents. Most parent coaches I've seen go out of their way to ensure they don't favor their kids, but I've seen it go the other way too.

 

[kyler.jackson1]

I started a team because the amount of money I was paying to those elite clubs was ridiculous. Also, my daughter was playing with a lot of girls who didn’t look like her in Colorado. I found multiple parents of talented girls who just couldn’t afford the outrageous fees and started a team where I charged them the exact amount for every tournament, flight and uniform. I can’t call it daddy ball because I made sure I found girls who were physically superior and more talented than my daughter because I wanted her to play up to her teammates level and not center a team around her. We started off as 12U state champs and then 14U, then 16U and it culminated with an 18U World Series win in Florida. Now my daughter will most likely be the conference pre-season player of the year next year because she was never the focus growing up and learned to elevate her game to her teammates.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[RIZZARIJOE]

I don’t get the dislike of Daddy Ball. For my older kids that all they knew was daddy ball. I coached all their travel team’s softball, track, basketball, and for the boy’s travel football team (yes in Texas we had tackle travel football in the spring)

The memories-- the fun times.

Heck the arguments; the days I taught maybe its time for me to stop coaching my kids. MAN those were great times-- I wouldn’t let another man or woman have that time with my child for the world.

My 29 year old was home and she didn’t realize I was in the house. One of her old high school friends dropped by. The young lady asked how coach was doing (it’s awesome to be referred to as coach after all these years.) My daughter said where he always is --- on some field somewhere with a bunch of the kids no one thinks is any good. Then the young lady replied yea your Dad is good at finding a diamond in the rough—look at me.

That young lady played all four years at a D1. My eyes started to water…..getting old.

Now that my wife and I have started over. With my babies I am enjoying coaching daddy ball even more. I understand how precious time is and I know no one has a better track record than me or has stronger interest in their success than me.

Top that off with its just fun……a lot of fun.

For all you Daddy and Mommy ran tournament teams/clubs…..Continue to do what you do!!! And take allot of pictures because one day your grand kids will not believe you when you tell them Mommy jacked “so and so” for three home runs in a game!!!!!!

So, see you non daddy/mommy ball teams on field …… oh yea I talk allot of smack!!! So, don’t lose to my GIRLS!!!! HA HA HA

It sounds like you're a coach first, parent second. Usually, the situation is reversed, where the parent puts on his prejudicial parental hat and plays his DD to the detriment of developing other players. I'm now an umpire instead of a coach, and I can tell you firsthand it absolutely disgusts me seeing daddy ball. My stepdaughter and her cousin were the two best players in their rec league - not by a little, but by a lot. This was at 12U rec. My stepdaughter was an accomplished pitcher - she didn't give up a single run all season. Her cousin had 13 over the fence home runs (200 ft. fence). Yet, the coach and his assistant named their respective daughters as all-stars. Everybody on the team, except for the two "all-stars," were pissed. The coach and his assistant's rationale was that our girls would have all kinds of accolades and awards, while their girls' careers will end at rec when they age out. Some may argue that they should not have played rec ball because their respective talent level was well above every other player in the league. My retort was that they worked hard - let them have fun, put their brains in their back pocket, and enjoy the rec season. They earned it.

These coaches put the girls in an unenviable position of either boycotting the playoff games, which they would have definitely lost, or having to swallow their pride and play, despite the snub. They chose to think of the team first. That's why I hate all-star games. This is a team sport, and individual accolades shouldn't be the focus. Or, if you really wanted to be fair, then put every player's name in a hat and draw the two all-stars.

 

[jacman]

I think there is a big difference between a daddy running a team and daddy ball.

Absolutely.

 

[jacman]

I prefer female coaches who played softball (in college). They know the most current drills, how travel ball was when they were 12, etc. etc. They're just in a better place to provide these girls with what they need.

Some of the worst pitching coaches I've seen are well-meaning young women who pitched in college. I will agree that playing at a high level CAN give a former player some advantages as a coach that a non-player (like me) won't experience. But someone who has a passion for the game, a passion to improve knowledge, and especially a passion to help young women grow in the sport and in life... that person is likely going to be a fine coach.

 

[CoachJD]

Some of the worst pitching coaches I've seen are well-meaning young women who pitched in college. I will agree that playing at a high level CAN give a former player some advantages as a coach that a non-player (like me) won't experience. But someone who has a passion for the game, a passion to improve knowledge, and especially a passion to help young women grow in the sport and in life... that person is likely going to be a fine coach.

While there are excellent instructors who are former college pitchers (Scarborough, White, etc.), when someone says "she pitched in college," I've been conditioned to think "here we go again" because the overwhelming number of them teach what they were taught; they don't teach how they pitch. Or at least, that's how it was five years ago. I think it might be slowly starting to change, but there's still many more misses than hits.