Coaching through the transition - what are the differences?

[left turn]

I am the AC on my DD’s 14U team. It is a mixed group of first and second year 14’s. The team is just getting to know each other and it seems like a great group of young ladies. Thankfully the parents appear to be sane. But it is early.

My question is about the transition the young ladies are going through.

What are the differences between coaching young ladies going through their physiological/hormonal changes and those that have yet to get there or are past it? For example do ladies tend to not react well to directive coaching? Do we need to be softer? Do they react differently to expectations? Is moodiness more prevalent?

Or are there no differences and coaching is just coaching?

We will be playing reasonably competitive SB for this region and there is always a lot of pressure on the players to excel. I understand this can be a volatile subject but I would like to be prepared so I can better help the team and my DD.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Don't treat them like girls. Don't treat them like boys. Treat them like athletes. Be direct, be firm, expect mistakes, addresses the mistakes without berating, give the correction, be positive, be honest if the effort is not there, be honest if the effort is there and the result isn't, but most of all be consistent from top to bottom on the team with way you handle them. If you do these things the other worries will take care of themselves. At 14U they are pretty much fully self-aware. You're not going to be able to BS them. If you know what you're doing they will follow. If you're lost or confused they will run right over you.

 

[sluggers]

Sparky nailed it.

I would emphasize honesty.


(1) "The blinders are coming off." They know that Suzy is good and Sally isn't. They know that winning is better than losing. They know that there is more to life than playing softball. They know that being in the band with a bunch of cute boys might be more fun than playing softball. They also know that Cindy may not have the same view of boys as the rest of the team.
(2) They are incredibly cliquish. If you let a clique form, you will be in a world of trouble.
(3) If you don't do what you say you will do, quit coaching.
(4) They will try to push the buttons of the adults to get a reaction. Some parents can handle this better than others.

What are the differences between coaching young ladies going through their physiological/hormonal changes and those that have yet to get there or are past it?

None...by 14YOA, they are all going through it.

For example do ladies tend to not react well to directive coaching? Do we need to be softer? Do they react differently to expectations? Is moodiness more prevalent?

They aren't kids any more. If you try to BS them or pretend that something is good when it isn't, you are toast.

If you don't know the skills you are trying to teach, forget it.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Sparky guy nailed it pretty good.

14u was one of my favorite years, maybe even my all time favorite. They are like a new born deer trying so hard to balance themselves in the transition between little girls and young women. They say and do some silly things, want to act "sexy" ( for lack of a better word ) in front of boys. They think every social experience is the highlight of their lives.

Hair has to be fixed every other inning, first year I see perfume as a regular piece of equipment in the ball bags, watching them fidget with sports bras. ( which they are not use to filling out ) Of coarse we are dads in the dugout, we can make fun of our own daughters and their new physical looks.

Don't put too much thought into "dealing" "coaching" them. It's not really that much different. Mood swings will show up, but just remember WHY they show up. Hardest thing I dealt with was chasing the boys away from the backside of my dugout.

 

[left turn]

Terrific advice folks. Thank you.

I saw a pretty awful example of what not to do this summer. A young lady was having cramps and tried to pitch through it in the first game of a tourney. She was roughed up by a pretty good team. She was feeling better in a couple of hours; well before the second game. However, the coach, a knuckle-dragger, didn't let her play the rest of the tournament except for a pinch hit appearance late in the 5th game of the tourney the next day. He was an idiot and we are on a new team this fall.

In the small sample of my DD's friends, some are breezing through as if it is nothing. A few others I can see their confidence drain away as they become more tentative.

I am looking forward to the new season. My DD's team is a really lively bunch.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I did forget one thing. What I do is have an adult female have a short "female" talk with the team. I have her assure them I understand about those issues. I've been married and raised two daughters. I make sure the girls are told if they are really having a rough time of it physically to quietly let me know. I will keep it private and I won't go "ewww" or anything like that. Then I will do everything in my power to not put them in a situation where they can't perform until they feel they are ready. There is a caveat that goes with it. If I think one of them is abusing my trust I will not be so understanding.

The key is to not make a big deal out of it so they can trust in your reactions. As far as "hormonal" mood swings go. I ignore them. I treat them exactly the same way all the time. Once they figure out I don't react to it their brain seems to take charge again and it's usually no longer an issue.

Fortunately, my daughter is coaching with me this year. I'll let her handle those issues.