21' uncommitted advise.

[Orange Socks]

At the end of DD's campus tour, Dad, mom and DD ended up in the coaches office at the end of the day. During the day he would check back in, take her to the next spot, lunch etc and kept saying if you have any questions be ready to ask at the end. I told her you better have some questions! We are now sitting across the desk from the coach and he asks: What questions do you have? DD asks, how do you see me fitting in here? Coach goes round and round and finally says I would like to offer you a roster spot. How much time do you need to make a decision? DD blurts out. I am ready to go RIGHT NOW! Coach's eyes pop wide open in disbelief and looks at mom and myself and says Mom, Dad are you okay with this!?

Yes, the interaction should be between Coaches and DD's for the most part. Parents are there for confirmation.

When we left the office to walk back to our car I said. Okay that escalated quickly! She said, Dad if I wasn't playing softball, I could see myself going to school here and everything felt right. Okay then. 6 days later the coach calls DD to tell her that he is leaving. I was afraid of that because of his resume of coaching major D1's. I knew he couldn't stick around too long, but dang! I should have asked him how long he plans on coaching here.

 

[JumboJack]

At the end of DD's campus tour, Dad, mom and DD ended up in the coaches office at the end of the day. During the day he would check back in, take her to the next spot, lunch etc and kept saying if you have any questions be ready to ask at the end. I told her you better have some questions! We are now sitting across the desk from the coach and he asks: What questions do you have? DD asks, how do you see me fitting in here? Coach goes round and round and finally says I would like to offer you a roster spot. How much time do you need to make a decision? DD blurts out. I am ready to go RIGHT NOW! Coach's eyes pop wide open in disbelief and looks at mom and myself and says Mom, Dad are you okay with this!?

Yes, the interaction should be between Coaches and DD's for the most part. Parents are there for confirmation.

When we left the office to walk back to our car I said. Okay that escalated quickly! She said, Dad if I wasn't playing softball, I could see myself going to school here and everything felt right. Okay then. 6 days later the coach calls DD to tell her that he is leaving. I was afraid of that because of his resume of coaching major D1's. I knew he couldn't stick around too long, but dang! I should have asked him how long he plans on coaching here.

So does the coach only talk with the player regarding scholarship monies?

 

[Orange Socks]

The coach should address the player, but you should be in the room too. This protects all involved. How many times have you told your DD something and she ends of hearing something else?

Or better yet, how many parents tell you Full Ride but the coach really said full tuition?

Remember: Laurel and Yanny?

 

[mmeece]

So does the coach only talk with the player regarding scholarship monies?

Usually for the reasons already stated that will come in an email to clarify exactly what is being offered.

 

[Rambler34]

Just tell her not to stress. It doesn't hurt asking a coach when they need to know a decision. Most understand this is something that will impact her life for the next 40 years and will give her some time. Also be open to any and all attention/offers. DD committed to a top JUCO program while she still had DI interest. She had one school that was going to offer her but wanted to make sure she was 100% after sugery for a broken ankle that caused her to play at 85% last summer. With everything that has transpired since she committed last February there is a good chance the money is now gone at the DI.

 

[texasheat]

We as in we have to figure out the finances. If we don't have a place in the conversation and she agrees to a school/deal we can't afford then she can't go there.

Agreed. How on earth can a parent stay completely out of the picture/conversation when their child is legally a minor and their frontal lobe hasn't fully developed? Lol....

I can see it now. "Hey Dad, great news, I just committed to Yale and got $2,000/year. You're responsible for the other $240,000.00 Thanks".

 

[JumboJack]

Agreed. How on earth can a parent stay completely out of the picture/conversation when their child is legally a minor and their frontal lobe hasn't fully developed? Lol....

I can see it now. "Hey Dad, great news, I just committed to Yale and got $2,000/year. You're responsible for the other $240,000.00 Thanks".

Bingo! That was my fear...

 

[Orange Socks]

Bingo! That was my fear...

The good news is that Yale does not offer Athletic Scholarships, so this scenario won't happen. You will have to fill out the FAFSA form along with giving them your entire financial history in order to see if you qualify for their Blind Need Based Money.

Soooo. This brings up a topic that parents should be checking out as they try to figure out what might be a good fit financially for the family. Go on the School's website and fill out the Net Price Calculator or Effective Family Contribution forms so you can have a good idea what what you might have to shell out before Athletic monies are discussed.

 

[livingontheroad]

My dd played on high level travel team.
2....team usa players off that team.

I saw the spectrum of outcomes for girls. From parents that used 401K to fund travel ball as an "investment"...and daughter decided not to play college, to Team USA players, to good players that bounced from school to school. To great players , getting benched by being replaced with even better players, to coach being fired and many of his "supportive " players along with him. To girls also having to quit softball....incompatible with nursing major that requires clinicals.

My daughter had a very good experience. Played 4 yrs. Started every game but 2 . Got to challenge for national title senior year

1. Its all about the team and teammates. That makes or breaks it. Not every coach can have a good no-drama bunch of girls.

2. Go where she is NEEDED. A lot of girls settle for carrying gear at practice to say they are on xyz team. Some of the worst experiences i saw were girls that signed with big name schools....only to sit bench and switch schools 2 yrs later.

When states waive tuition for grades...a coach can take anyone. A lot of games are played local...even at top 10 schools...keeping those players on your bench.....not local opponents field....is a real thing.

Schools that recruit the top in the country..... Do so every year. and those schools you'll always be fighting for a position to play. I saw an NCAA freshman of the year get benched and transfer schools when they replaced her with someone better. There's always someone better..... The coach's job is to get them if they can.

3. Stuff really happens. Injuries, coach leaving. Should be willing to stay there even if not play.

4. Its not for fun anymore.
Your coach is no longer your coach, he's your boss. This is his job, his /her livelihood. Your pay is your scholarship if you have one. You're going to discover the nice coach you met is probably an overbearing a-hole, and 90% of team hates him . The other 10% is just smart enough to keep their mouth shut.