12U, option on whether to approach player that doesn't want to be there...

[radness]

I coach a 12u B-level travel team. I have a young lady that I've coached for 3 years and this year there is a definite change in how she approaches the game. She is a great kid, a great athlete, good attitude but doesn't seem to be enjoying the game itself anymore. After talking with some of the team (player) leaders, this particular player has said that she no longer wants to play softball and wants to focus on other sports, but because it's somewhat mid-season her parents want her to finish this year. As a Father, I appreciate that sentiment. I want to be very clear, I do not take this personally and in no way shape, or form plan on taking it out on the player. My question is should I talk to the player to see if there's a way I could make this season better or more enjoyable for her? Or should I just leave it alone as it's a family matter?

Drawing this line

Your a softball coach
______________________
Not the family/child counselor

Focus on your teams attitude, and positive dynamic...which she is included in.
Coach should be thinking of the group.


Individual issue's are generally growing pains.
Just because you can see some emotions on her face or posture, and not others, doesnt mean others arent having growing pains of there own.

Let the parents do the parenting.
They can see their own daughters attitude just like you.
If her attitude becomes disruptive, treat her like any player having a 'tude'.

Further there are at times whiney spoiled issues do come up...but they are family issues!

imo focus on your TEAM!
Team culture works the same in well hmmmm every sport.
She can learn that and use it elsewhere if she then choses another sport.

 

[canyonjoe]

Why girls quit? What is the most likely reason of quitting?

My DD is first year 10U. Travel ball is getting serious. She is a pitcher. Her secondary position is becoming bench because they want her to rest. When she gets on base, they will send a runner for her. She never gets to run home now. Are girls quitting because serious travel ball is less fun?

I see this happen to too many kids. They start playing for college at 10 and it's all geared towards that and they forget that kids started playing because it was fun. Now at 16U and up you are more defined and have to accept that when you get there but at 10,12 and 14 you need to play unless the kid determines they just want to pitch.

 

[jacman]

If her parents want her to finish, I don't want to cross the parents by giving the girl an option, unless she becomes disruptive to the team. Then talk to the parents about that.

I think good coaching is more about building people than it is about building teams, that is, the values of teamwork, discipline, and all those things translate to "real life" very well. Therefore, if you understand from the parents that this young lady is required to finish the season, then support that. But then you should also tell the player that you understand her feelings, and that you appreciate her commitment, and that you hope she'll enjoy the rest of the season as much as she can.

I don't think you do much else to make her feel comfortable, or anything that really sets her apart from the team. Your understanding may help ease her way out of softball, or it may help her reignite her interest.

Barring horrible circumstances, keeping commitments is pretty important to good character. Focusing on that gives you a chance to build a better person whether she stays in softball or not.