Perils of TB

Starting our 4th year of TB, one thing has become very clear to me...

The ONLY real loyalty is parents doing what they think is best for their kid. Sometimes, parents are completely delusional.

I have read a lot of these and I would like to point out that there is a huge difference in experience for the families and player when playing A or Gold ball. (Not just in name only) If you are playing Rec, C, or B, your experiences will vary greatly and most of those experiences will not be pleasant.

Easton33 said:

I have read a lot of these and I would like to point out that there is a huge difference in experience for the families and player when playing A or Gold ball. (Not just in name only) If you are playing Rec, C, or B, your experiences will vary greatly and most of those experiences will not be pleasant.

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I suppose that depends on what "A" ball means in your area. In So Cal, all TB is "A", everything connected with a league is "B" or "C".

I don't know if there has ever been a truer thread started on these forums. I love watching my DD play and I look forward to the next 3.5 years of TB and hopefully 4 years of college, but I almost can't wait for those 3.5 years to be over. Sometimes I wonder if all of the off the field BS is worth it.

I just read this thread, and it is great. My DD went from playing on an 'A' level team within a 'B' level organization to probably a 'B/B+' level team in an 'A' level organization. This move wasn't easy but it had to be done to get better. My DD isn't the most athletic kid, but she will not be out-worked and continually is getting better. So, one thing I'd like to mention in an ironic twist is, we've played a lot of top teams in the area multiple times, and for the most part, the coaches kids are the worst players on the teams. Yes, there are a couple of teams where the coaches kid is a standout, but this seems to be the exception to the rule from my experience.

Second, regarding coaches. They certainly don't have an easy task, so, in general, I try not to second guess them. Sometimes it's not easy. But for the most part I believe they are trying to do the right thing. It's hard enough as it is, so I try to be a good parent. And they way I do this is just by being quiet.

Regarding recruiting and playing in college. I happened to meet a professional college recruiter and had a quite lengthy adhoc discussion with him. We had a similar background that set both at ease with each other, which allowed me to ask questions I wouldn't normally. I had asked if Colleges really do recruit based on the parents. And his answer was an emphatic, 'Yes'. I asked how would they know I'm crazy/not crazy, and he stated through people like him. It was eye opening to talk to guy who recruits kids as a business. And with that being said, I know of really talented girls who's parents have limited their options through being, in general, a goof. One thing I've learned is that softball is a small world. Stick to your guiding principals and try not to burn bridges.

And finally, as much as I'd love my DD to play for a D1 powerhouse, it's her dream not mine. And I know the experience of a student athlete is substantially different than a student. I was taught the value of an education, and we will use her softball ability to (hopefully) help us achieve a great education. I don't mean to rip on top D1 athletes, and there certainly are great jobs and roles for these kids, but I see a lot of what I would deem useless majors. Now I know some of these kids are so good they may be the next million dollar Enquist and make me eat crow. But the odds are not in their favor, so you had better have a fallback plan. And that plan had better include a useful major. So, I would be happy if DD decided to play at a lower level, or even not at all, in an effort to pursue her academic and ultimately professional goals. It'd be icing on the cake if she can do both, but it won't be easy.

And finally, to the best comment in the thread. If it's not fun, what are we doing? It's the whole reason we got on the softball roller coaster.

Signed

-Loving every minute of it.

Easton33 said:

I have read a lot of these and I would like to point out that there is a huge difference in experience for the families and player when playing A or Gold ball. (Not just in name only) If you are playing Rec, C, or B, your experiences will vary greatly and most of those experiences will not be pleasant.

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What those things mean vary so much from area to area though. There are plenty of "A" teams where I am formed around a coach's kid. At least in our age group; I'm sure that decreases as they get older.

Quite simply get your DD on the best team she can make.
This time of the year you start seeing all of the plastic in the photos.
Happy parents.. then you look at the tournament and most teams are C level. If you're on this site your are not a casual Softball family. Your kid deserves to play the best competition possible.

mikfish711 said:

Last year, a coach told me “TB is full of liars and thieves.”

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Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to this. My DD has been on 5 different TB/Tournament teams from 10U - 14U and only 1 team was what I consider honest and fair. For example, the coach said he was only taking 12 players on the team and DD would get lots of time in the circle, and he kept his word. They explained all of the fees and costs upfront and what tournaments we would be playing in (mostly college showcases in fall) during the season and PGF qualifiers and triple crown tournaments in the spring, summer with lots of friendlies.

I was shocked with the BS that well established organization (ones that had been around for 20+ years) were pulling. For example, they would take 18 players for a 12U team? A big time money grab! They would not give us an accounting of where our monthly dues were going, they ordered metal cleats for our players even though the players were not age eligible to wear them, we never did get the molded cleats! It took us 6 months for us to get bat bags. On one team, the org didn't pay our coach for 2 months and he quit mid-season. One organization merged with another (briefly) and they broke up several months later and apparently were suing each other for breach of contract, etc. I could go on and on...just disgraceful...

The bottom line is that there is a lot of money in youth sports and unfortunately there are some unethical adults who exploit families and players. You really need to do your due diligence before you join an team or organization.

Rocketech1 said:

Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to this. My DD has been on 5 different TB/Tournament teams from 10U - 14U and only 1 team was what I consider honest and fair. For example, the coach said he was only taking 12 players on the team and DD would get lots of time in the circle, and he kept his word. They explained all of the fees and costs upfront and what tournaments we would be playing in (mostly college showcases in fall) during the season and PGF qualifiers and triple crown tournaments in the spring, summer with lots of friendlies.

I was shocked with the BS that well established organization (ones that had been around for 20+ years) were pulling. For example, they would take 18 players for a 12U team? A big time money grab! They would not give us an accounting of where our monthly dues were going, they ordered metal cleats for our players even though the players were not age eligible to wear them, we never did get the molded cleats! It took us 6 months for us to get bat bags. On one team, the org didn't pay our coach for 2 months and he quit mid-season. One organization merged with another (briefly) and they broke up several months later and apparently were suing each other for breach of contract, etc. I could go on and on...just disgraceful...

The bottom line is that there is a lot of money in youth sports and unfortunately there are some unethical adults who exploit families and players. You really need to do your due diligence before you join an team or organization.

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We've had some really shady stuff happen on all but one of our teams too, not counting our just-out-of-rec (including the coaches) 8U team that only played spring. First year 10U for spring we were on a team where the coach mostly did what he said he was going to and we didn't experience anything unethical or shady. It wasn't a very fun team and at least 2-3 parents were pissed about playing time at any given moment, but nothing like coaches stealing, trying to (sometimes successfully) steal players, lying and cheating. We've had some wild stuff happen to us and it seems like we're not even close to the only ones.

I don’t understand several comments in this thread.

“Travel ball is full of liars, creeps, and crooks” Not any more so than rec ball.

“D-III sports, where the kids really are student athletes. “ Student Athletes are NOT exclusive to DIII.

“Most organizations are committed to their players as long as they are good enough.” Of course they are. If they keep a kid who isn’t as dedicated or working as hard they’ll lose the rest of the team.

“shady TB coaches, especially when the team experiences success and has to do it by batting 9 instead of batting lineup” How is batting 9 shady?

“I see a lot of what I would deem useless majors.” D1 & D2 softball players have just as strenuous majors as the overall student population and in general have higher GPA’s.