DD puts so much pressure on herself

Bob516 said:

I have been thinking about that, but it would come at the expense of her batting lessons.

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If he/you are referring to infield practice, do you have a wall somewhere near your house? I used to practice fielding for hours upon hours (see my 1st post about my OCD-like behavior) bouncing a ball off of a concrete dugout at
my local playground. You can practice shorthops, backhands,forehands,etc for hours if you want..nobody else necessary.

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Bob, some of the things you have stated here demonstrate to me that your dd does have the drive to be successful. The problem then is how to channel it. The defense mechanism is sometimes appearing as if she doesn't have the drive but I have never seen anyone without drive yell at themselves when they are unsuccessful. I wonder this about your dd, has she been to a college camp where she can measure herself against others her age but of whom she has not seen before? For my dd, when she went to one camp in particular that was, "invite only" and limited to 40 players, my dd left that camp knowing that she was one of the best there. Somehow, it gave her a measurement on what to work on but also gave her confidence that she was on the right path. The unknown is most often scary and so, the defense mechanism kick in.

Bob, when you are working with your dd and she has that negative attitude toward you, don't forget that real development in any activity requires at least 4 to 1 positive reinforcement. I like 8 to 1 positive reinforcement. Also, a good pat on the back goes a long way after a bad workout when you can point out that the results might not have been what she wanted but the effort to try was great and so, she got better that day. It is always easy to see the negative. Help her see the positive. I have been working with a young lady who is very good but only sees her flaws. Recently, she made the last out of a very important game. She was depressed and upset over it. She had 2 hits that game for extra bases and drove in all of her team's runs. Still the focus was that last at bat. So, my advice to her was the misery loves company and she can find someone who will be sad with her. Instead, I told her know that you have room for improvement, realize the good you did that day for your team and one at bat should never determine how she viewed her game contributions. Good luck with your dd. Things always have a way of working themselves out if you have the patience to be there for you dd while letting her find her path.

pattar said:

If he/you are referring to infield practice, do you have a wall somewhere near your house? I used to practice fielding for hours upon hours (see my 1st post about my OCD-like behavior) bouncing a ball off of a concrete dugout at
my local playground. You can practice shorthops, backhands,forehands,etc for hours if you want..nobody else necessary.

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I will suggest to her that she try practicing off a wall.

Often she acts as if she only wants perfect practice opportunities. I hope she will consider working off a wall.

Bob516 said:

I will suggest to her that she try practicing off a wall.

Often she acts as if she only wants perfect practice opportunities. I hope she will consider working off a wall.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1EA7w0PQ5Y

Cannonball said:

Bob, some of the things you have stated here demonstrate to me that your dd does have the drive to be successful. The problem then is how to channel it. The defense mechanism is sometimes appearing as if she doesn't have the drive but I have never seen anyone without drive yell at themselves when they are unsuccessful. I wonder this about your dd, has she been to a college camp where she can measure herself against others her age but of whom she has not seen before?

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I have never doubted her drive. Once she caught the softball bug at 7 years old, she has been almost non-stop with her desire and intensity to practice. When she was in elementary school she would have me take her to the ball field to practice before school started. She was in a top rated DII school's camp two summers ago. If she did look to compare herself she didn't talk to me about it that much.

Cannonball said:

Bob, when you are working with your dd and she has that negative attitude toward you, don't forget that real development in any activity requires at least 4 to 1 positive reinforcement. I like 8 to 1 positive reinforcement.

Good luck with your dd. Things always have a way of working themselves out if you have the patience to be there for you dd while letting her find her path.

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I am not critical of her during practice, first, its not in my nature, and second, I don't know enough about the skills to critique her practice. Something I have not considered before, whether the pain of my disability is adversely affecting my behavior during her practice. As my condition worsens over the years my constant, chronic pain, worsens also. That could be a factor in what is going on.

pattar said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1EA7w0PQ5Y

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Watched a couple minutes of the video, it looks great. Do you recommend a regular fastpitch ball for this wall practice? Thanks.

BobInMadison said:

It can be tough being a teenager, and really having to come to grips with your parents' limitations.

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Thanks.

Even in the best of situations it can be difficult on kids, sounds like yours and mine are particularly striking.

Good luck.

Bob516 said:

I have never doubted her drive. Once she caught the softball bug at 7 years old, she has been almost non-stop with her desire and intensity to practice. When she was in elementary school she would have me take her to the ball field to practice before school started. She was in a top rated DII school's camp two summers ago. If she did look to compare herself she didn't talk to me about it that much.



I am not critical of her during practice, first, its not in my nature, and second, I don't know enough about the skills to critique her practice. Something I have not considered before, whether the pain of my disability is adversely affecting my behavior during her practice. As my condition worsens over the years my constant, chronic pain, worsens also. That could be a factor in what is going on.

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Kids pick up on body language, especially with their parents. Mine certainly does and she is only 8. I was a high strung/demonstrative person on the field/court and I have had to really,really make sure I don't show any signs of negative emotion when I am practicing with her. Sometimes I don't even think that I did anything and then my wife will later tell me (if she is there to see) that yes you made a face, slight gesture with your hand, etc. One time I told my DD that I was going to wear a Halloween mask when we play so she couldn't see my facial expressions

Bob516 said:

Watched a couple minutes of the video, it looks great. Do you recommend a regular fastpitch ball for this wall practice? Thanks.

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Take a beat up ball and use that. Mixing in a tennis ball every so often would be ok as well as that would work hand-eye as the ball is smaller. I think Coach Gasso has her kids field baseballs every
so often for that reason.