Don't be that parent

[JJS]

There is a big difference with general knowledge such as defensive schemes, player positioning,.... and pitching mechanics. Trying to position a player is so much different than getting a mechanical adjustment between innings. You have no idea the pitches being called, if you are shifting a cf to the left because the batter pulls the ball and the coach is calling everything out in the river then you are not doing anyone a bit of good. These are coaching decisions that are made not mechanical adjustments. Now if the dad says "hey you are taking two steps forward on all fly balls, you need to take two back" that would be similar. And if the coach hasn't caught that the kid is doing so then maybe it should be brought to her attention by dad.

This goes back to one of my earlier posts. If you feel that you know more than the coach about pitching, then talk to the coach. Do what it takes to get yourself in the dugout as an assistant. Help the team out. If you truly know more than any coach on staff about pitching, then you owe it to the team to share your knowledge and help all the pitchers. If not all the pitchers, then at least see about being in the dugout when DD is pitching.

What kind of example are you setting for your child, the other parents and the rest of the team if you are constantly coaching from the stands or behind the dugout? You are creating a situation that can lead to friction on your team, and your coach losing the control of the team in general. Your intentions may be good enough, but any other parents looking to undermine the coach are going to use your actions to undermine the team. Soon enough parents will start questioning game decisions, and start giving hitting lessons from the stands. After about 3 months of this, everyone loses because your team has disbanded.

Many of us will have to just agree to disagree on this subject. That's okay. I see both sides of it. I ask that you all also try to look at both sides. It is a very slippery slope allowing a parent to come over and give advice in the middle of a game. Again, any coach worth his/her salt will let you be an AC in the dugout to help handle the pitchers if you truly know what you are doing. If you don't want to be in the dugout you can always pass information to the coach to then pass to DD as THE COACH sees fit. .

 

[riseball]

.... Again, any coach worth his/her salt will let you be an ac in the dugout to help handle the pitchers if you truly know what you are doing. If you don't want to be in the dugout you can always pass information to the coach to then pass to dd as the coach sees fit. .

Now that is funny!!!!

 

[JJS]

Now that is funny!!!!

Why is it funny? As a coach I realize that I don't know everything. Have you never been on a team where the coach is there more for the betterment of the team, and not for their personal glory? Maybe the real issue is that the group saying that they need to coach from the stands(or behind the dugout) have never played for a team/coach that actually has the players best interest at heart.

If that is the case, then isn't the real issue why is your DD on this team?

 

[Joseph Sciara]

Unless you have been a head coach you can't even imagine the phone calls, emails and texts we get from parents. Maybe someday I will compile them into a collection and publish them, LOL. Dealing with 10-15 different families is difficult enough when everything goes smoothly. Personally I will not deal with this type of parent. Luckily, my families are not these types. People forget that most of us aren't being paid. Even if I was I wouldn't need the problems that these parents present. There is no reason to be at or in our dugout without permission or being invited over by one of the coaches.

 

[riseball]

Why is it funny? As a coach I realize that I don't know everything. Have you never been on a team where the coach is there more for the betterment of the team, and not for their personal glory? Maybe the real issue is that the group saying that they need to coach from the stands(or behind the dugout) have never played for a team/coach that actually has the players best interest at heart.

If that is the case, then isn't the real issue why is your DD on this team?

I am sincere when I say you would probably make a great HS coach. But I get the idea that you have yet to fully experience the joy of having 1 or more of your DD's play HS softball. Unfortunately you would be very atypical. While there are some very good HS coaches, many just plain suck. Many HS coaches are very insecure in their skills and their egos simply will not permit them to ask for help. They see seasoned coaches, especially TB coaches as threats not resources.

 

[SoCalASABlue]

I am sincere when I say you would probably make a great HS coach. But I get the idea that you have yet to fully experience the joy of having 1 or more of your DD's play HS softball. Unfortunately you would be very atypical. While there are some very good HS coaches, many just plain suck. Many HS coaches are very insecure in their skills and their egos simply will not permit them to ask for help. They see seasoned coaches, especially TB coaches as threats not resources.

DD's HS coach in the middle of the championship run in 2014 said out loud in front of all the parents (including the 5 TB coaches that she NEVER asked for any assistance, much less an opinion) "GD I hate freaking (but she didn't say freaking) TB coaches"...this after she heard the all too familiar AWW from the stands when she ran the team into yet ANOTHER 3rd out at 3B (but what did the TB coaches know -doesn't everybody have their slowest runner try to steal 3rd [not on a WP or PB] with 2 outs??)...

 

[fastpitch]

This is crazy. A pitcher showcasing for college coaches should not need her parents tweaking things during the showcase with college coaches watching. Pull her if it's that bad. Everyone who thinks it's completely normal and not giving coaches the impression that a kid is dependent on their parent while openly being in contact with their pitching DD during the game and between innings is out of their mind. While most reasonable coaches will understand a small quiet discussion maybe once, yelling from the sideline about their power line or whatever mechanic is not helping her out as far as recruitment. I have been to top events like IDT in Boulder and D9 in Florida. I can't recall any top pitcher getting spoken to by their parents during games or between innings about their mechanics. If they did it wasn't obvious.

 

[slingnit]

This is crazy. A pitcher showcasing for college coaches should not need her parents tweaking things during the showcase with college coaches watching. Pull her if it's that bad. Everyone who thinks it's completely normal and not giving coaches the impression that a kid is dependent on their parent while openly being in contact with their pitching DD during the game and between innings is out of their mind. While most reasonable coaches will understand a small quiet discussion maybe once, yelling from the sideline about their power line or whatever mechanic is not helping her out as far as recruitment. I have been to top events like IDT in Boulder and D9 in Florida. I can't recall any top pitcher getting spoken to by their parents during games or between innings about their mechanics. If they did it wasn't obvious.

It probably wasn't obvious or at least not made out be a spectacle and it happens plenty. The yelling instructions from behind the fence is something totally different than a discussion next to the dugout. I agree it should be done with the coaches approval.(if the team does not have a competent PC, does not understand my dd's pitching mechanics or would allow a little help if she is struggling then chances are she would not be on that team) But all these large tournaments that attract 200+ schools are probably where you will see more parent/pitcher interaction than other tournaments. I would say 25 to 35% of the pitchers are pick up players. On their regular team dad may be an AC but now they are a pick up and the PU team may have never even seen her throw in person. You may not see it on the Rico's, SoCal A's, Bandits and the like because they actually have a staff. But you start getting into the teams that are successful for the duration of the coach's dd's TB career you will see them look for bucket dads to help make adjustments. And what happens when a team has 5 pitchers with 5 different pitching coaches. You gonna put 5 AC's in the dugout?

And it may not even be adjustments at all. You get a 14-15 year old kid that has 10+ coaches there to watch her throw she may just want a little self assurance that she is looking ok.

"Hey dad, do I look OK?"

"Yeah kiddo, everything looks good, keep it up!"

"OK, just making sure."

Tell me how could that possibly construed as a bad thing from a college coach?

 

[JAD]

just read this entire thread and wow many good points both sides. it also struck home for me as I'm in the middle of this type situation. DD and i found a great "fit" he is member here and teaches IR and well respected as a PC in our area. Now lets talk HS ball, coach brought on former player to help this yr. Pitched in HS and some college pitching. First day wants DD to push down and finish HE. DD handled it well and explained that isn't how PC teaches, coach doesn't like it but backed off some with little smart rear comments. According to some in this thread she should listen to the coach and do exactly what that coach at that time wants, AINT HAPPENING. I will correct if she asks and encourage to fight that coach tooth and nail when pitching mechanics are the topic. that coach can call pitches, recommend who pitches and who doesn't pitch to the head coach and aint none of my business. But if she asks me for help on a pitching issue I will help in the stands or at dugout, for the reasons A. I know more on that subject than the coach in regards to proper mechs. B. I know DD far better than her from the bucket time alone. So for the coaches who lay down the blanket rule no talking to parents you could be hurting your team when a parent could mention a small reminder and the pitcher goes from mediocre to lights out. Now if DD were to play college ball she will have to adjust to that teams PC and what they want since she is being paid to play via the scholarship. it will be for DD to work out without the parents help. In TB or HS and they have a PC that is in tune with PC I watch eat popcorn and enjoy a day of teams play ball. As someone said there are a lot of places to draw the line in the sand should have added that there are a lot of beaches with parents, players, coaches and skills or lack of skills. This can make anyone "That ____" depending which beach on which coast your on at that point in her journey of softball pitching.

Hallelujah and AMEN, preach it brother!!!

 

[fastpitch]

It probably wasn't obvious or at least not made out be a spectacle and it happens plenty. The yelling instructions from behind the fence is something totally different than a discussion next to the dugout. I agree it should be done with the coaches approval.(if the team does not have a competent PC, does not understand my dd's pitching mechanics or would allow a little help if she is struggling then chances are she would not be on that team) But all these large tournaments that attract 200+ schools are probably where you will see more parent/pitcher interaction than other tournaments. I would say 25 to 35% of the pitchers are pick up players. On their regular team dad may be an AC but now they are a pick up and the PU team may have never even seen her throw in person. You may not see it on the Rico's, SoCal A's, Bandits and the like because they actually have a staff. But you start getting into the teams that are successful for the duration of the coach's dd's TB career you will see them look for bucket dads to help make adjustments. And what happens when a team has 5 pitchers with 5 different pitching coaches. You gonna put 5 AC's in the dugout?

And it may not even be adjustments at all. You get a 14-15 year old kid that has 10+ coaches there to watch her throw she may just want a little self assurance that she is looking ok.

"Hey dad, do I look OK?"

"Yeah kiddo, everything looks good, keep it up!"

"OK, just making sure."

Tell me how could that possibly construed as a bad thing from a college coach?

I believe the absolute best case is the college coaches don't even know who the parents are and the kid is fine without them. To a certain degree it should be fine to have minimal contact with their parents or pitching coach but to think it is a regular thing to be tweaking kids every inning and giving instruction openly from the sideline is a whole other issue. That is certainly not normal at the showcase level and really should raise a red flag to a college coach. If they are having that many issues where they need to speak to their parent between innings they obviously aren't pitching that well or aren't that good. It's a game. Not a pitching lesson.

This thread was started to show what a college coach might be thinking with more than a little parental interaction. Right or wrong, like it or not, agree with it or not, have an excuse for it or not, the fact is in some coaches eyes it may be a strike against a kid at a showcase. If a parent feels that strongly about his/her rights that they don't care what those college coaches think and feel it's reasonable to speak to their kid and regularly tweak their mechanics between innings because they know how to fix their kid or give them that much needed pat on the head and can't just stay away for 90 minutes then go for it. Be that parent.