special treatment for a few

[grcsftbll]

Again, I don't think parents should be running the team. But if a coach is making decisions the parents don't understand, and parents are getting upset, the team has drama, and often will fall apart. Why not just a quick email discussing those types of things? Stop the drama before it starts. Not all parents are reasonable but I like to think most are, and if the thought process makes sense they'll settle down. And if there aren't a lot of secrets there's nothing to gossip about. I just like a little transparency, that's all. and for me it goes both ways - if we were going to make a decision that might affect the team I'd discuss it with our coach.

 

[nikkilugi]

This is simply not black and white...as others have mentioned a parent/girl might tell you exactly why they can't make practice BUT it is not your job to relay that to other parents that is between you and the family many times it is sensitive information (custody situations are the worst). Then as the coach it's on you to do what you think is the right thing that is why you are the coach.

Again control what you can control...if your DD is at every practice and game and if she is top half of talent you should expect to be out there almost every inning, if you are not one of two things is going on 1) your DD is not as good in the coaches eyes as she is in your eyes, in which case you need to have a "what can I do to improve" conversation with the coach 2) coach has ulterior motives that don't involve what is best for your DD and the team in which case you decide if you can live with that or if it is time to look for another team

I see what you are saying - and I am not asking that the coach divulge confidential information at all. However, if a girl is missing constantly and there are posts on Facebook of her attending parties instead of practices then obvious drama will ensue. Then a coach has said the girl is a 12th player but the reality is that she gets to play the majority of the time. It seems to me that the coach is the cause of the drama in this situation - not parents and honestly not that girl (she obviously hasn't been told she is expected to be at practices). The coach now needs to communicate with the parents/player as to why things are different as he stated they would be. Just hiding behind the statement "I am coach and you are parents so shut up" is not good leadership and a total cop out. Especially not at 12U level of play.

I agree with the second half of your post 100%.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Special Treatment.....

 

[CoogansBluff]

.if your DD is at every practice and game and if she is top half of talent you should expect to be out there almost every inning ...

My expectations are not related to my DD's abilities or practice attendance. They are related to what the coach told me would happen.

If coach says everybody plays equally regardless of ability or effort, then that's what I expect. If coach says it's based purely on his opinion of what will give team best chance to win, then that's my expectation.

On DD's current team, our leadoff hitter has made 1 of 5 practices and also missed a 3-game out-of-town scrimmage. Then she missed the first day (and 2 games) of a 6-game tournament last week. But when she showed up, she started and batted first. Coach's stated philosophy is that he does what's best for the team, people live far away, can't be at all practices, trust him to make the call. Therefore, I have no questions for coach. If he had said that playing time was based even partly on practice attendance, then I would have cause to ask.

Reminds me of a parent who once asked me why his pitcher/daughter was playing the field only when pitching at a tournament. He says, 'I thought you said playing time in the field would be equitable.' It was a fair question, because I did say that. I explained that we had only 2 pitchers that day, it was 95 degrees, we were in the losers bracket with no breaks between games, and I didn't want either pitcher in the sun when not necessary. Glad he asked.

 

[djcarter1966]

My expectations are not related to my DD's abilities or practice attendance. They are related to what the coach told me would happen.

If coach says everybody plays equally regardless of ability or effort, then that's what I expect. If coach says it's based purely on his opinion of what will give team best chance to win, then that's my expectation.

On DD's current team, our leadoff hitter has made 1 of 5 practices and also missed a 3-game out-of-town scrimmage. Then she missed the first day (and 2 games) of a 6-game tournament last week. But when she showed up, she started and batted first. Coach's stated philosophy is that he does what's best for the team, people live far away, can't be at all practices, trust him to make the call. Therefore, I have no questions for coach. If he had said that playing time was based even partly on practice attendance, then I would have cause to ask.

Reminds me of a parent who once asked me why his pitcher/daughter was playing the field only when pitching at a tournament. He says, 'I thought you said playing time in the field would be equitable.' It was a fair question, because I did say that. I explained that we had only 2 pitchers that day, it was 95 degrees, we were in the losers bracket with no breaks between games, and I didn't want either pitcher in the sun when not necessary. Glad he asked.

Unless I am missing something playing time CAN'T be equal...unless you put waaaaay more effort into it. With 11 girls there are going to be the majority of times when the same girls (which is why I said top half) will play all the innings; assuming your league or tournament does not have some kind of free substitution rules and you don't change lineups every game. The reason I said be at all practices is you don't give the coach any reason to use that as an excuse...if you do these two things and are not playing almost every inning I can't think of a reason to stay unless you are just playing for the fun and social part of it.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Unless I am missing something playing time CAN'T be equal...unless you put waaaaay more effort into it. With 11 girls there are going to be the majority of times when the same girls (which is why I said top half) will play all the innings; assuming your league or tournament does not have some kind of free substitution rules and you don't change lineups every game. The reason I said be at all practices is you don't give the coach any reason to use that as an excuse...if you do these two things and are not playing almost every inning I can't think of a reason to stay unless you are just playing for the fun and social part of it.

Agree with your advice about being at practices and giving yourself the best opportunity to play more, bat higher, etc. But coach still needs to communicate well.

As for equal playing time, I coached teams with 10 or 11 players in 10U-12U travel. Batted them all and moved players in an out on defense. Not that hard if roster is not big. Not saying this is the way all teams ought to operate. It depends on your goals and roster size. But it can be done. By equal, I don't mean exactly equal. I wasn't counting innings in the field.

 

[Carsonsig]

Issue here isnt playing time policy, it is lack of communication, and being shady by the HC. He told AC the kid missed, and was the #12, would sit mainly. Didnt. Shady as hell.

He is not ommunicating policy and program to the parents. As HC, he can do whatever he wants... but he should man up, tell the team the deal, and stick to it, own it.

 

[CMMom1740]

I've often wondered what the "other side of the story" is when these ads say stuff like "don't let distance be an issue." What does that mean, exactly? I'd really like for someone to explain that. Because it could mean, "if you're enough of a stud, we'll give you a pass on attending practice, and you'll see still plenty of playing time." Or it could mean, "We'll let you play, but if you hit a slump, we'll let others who attend practice play before you." Or it could mean, "as long as you're a decent or better pitcher, you'll always play." I think it behooves parents to ask lots of questions. Of course, the kid referenced in the original post sounds like she's just out having fun instead of attending practice as opposed to it being a distance issue. In which case, I do think attending practice should matter. Your stud pitcher/catcher/whatever shouldn't get a pass just because she's good. But, I guess coaches may feel differently.

 

[slugger3]

My expectations are not related to my DD's abilities or practice attendance. They are related to what the coach told me would happen.

If coach says everybody plays equally regardless of ability or effort, then that's what I expect. If coach says it's based purely on his opinion of what will give team best chance to win, then that's my expectation.

On DD's current team, our leadoff hitter has made 1 of 5 practices and also missed a 3-game out-of-town scrimmage. Then she missed the first day (and 2 games) of a 6-game tournament last week. But when she showed up, she started and batted first. Coach's stated philosophy is that he does what's best for the team, people live far away, can't be at all practices, trust him to make the call. Therefore, I have no questions for coach. If he had said that playing time was based even partly on practice attendance, then I would have cause to ask.

Reminds me of a parent who once asked me why his pitcher/daughter was playing the field only when pitching at a tournament. He says, 'I thought you said playing time in the field would be equitable.' It was a fair question, because I did say that. I explained that we had only 2 pitchers that day, it was 95 degrees, we were in the losers bracket with no breaks between games, and I didn't want either pitcher in the sun when not necessary. Glad he asked.

I agree, if the Coach states UP FRONT that Pez Dispenser Coaching will be in use, where all of the girls will get equal playing time regardless of skill, that is fine. The coach thumbs the Pez dispenser 9 times, and the first 9 numbers to come out in order, play in the game...

But if the parents and DDs were told by the coach that only the best players would play, and only 9 would bat, instead of 14 batters....then we have a problem...