Shaking off the coach...what to do?

[Amy in AZ.]

We had a team called the Minions, last season. I guess I need to watch the movie.

 

[OhioFPMom]

Thank you all for your valuable input. I so badly wanted to talk to the coach and make my displeasure known. But, I did not want to be the difficult parent on the team. Glad I waited and got your opinions - I'll have her communicate with him.

 

[CoogansBluff]

This has nothing to do with whether a coach should call pitches or whether a pitch should shake off a coach.

It has to do with whether coach should get mad at a kid and make her feel like crap over something like this. And then should he further confuse the kid by telling her that he really isn't mad at her when she knows good and well that he was.

If this girl is like my DD, she interprets anger and disappointment from adults as "I don't like you.'' Kids have to be re-assured that this is not necessarily the case. It's part of why it's good to play sports, to learn and work through this sort of thing. Meanwhile, sounds like the coach has his own issues to work through. If the girl remains upset, I'd have a talk w/ the coach and say, ''When you did this, she felt like that.'' See where it goes. Might be that player and coach both need to grow a little.

 

[starsnuffer]

Buy the coach a hot dog and suggest he keep it in his shorts for the next time he's feeling insecure.

-W

 

[TimothyJ]

Amazes me that this guy will stop a game, walk to the center of the infield and berate a teenage girl in front of her friends, teammates and family... And he has the NERVE to use the term "disrespectful"?

I envy your self-discipline

 

[MandM]

I agree with TimothyJ and CB on this.

I probably would have been ballistic if my DD told me her coach said something like that to her- because I do not think there is an excuse for the coach to say this type of thing to a young girl- "you think you are the best thing out here and you are not" - what kind of statement is that- he should apologize to her for losing his cool. I would keep an eye out for this guy to say other inappropriate things 'cause his response in this situation is so over the top as to be a red flag in my mind.

 

[GatorGirl]

Before we all get our panties in a wad, let's just keep in mind that we weren't there to see it all play out or to hear exactly what was said. Let's not loose the forest for the trees. This is a HUGE learning opportunity for the DD. Talk to the couch and figure out how to move forward. I don't agree that at 14 a parent should talk to the coach. 10 maybe, but at 14 they need to step up. Maybe the parent and the assistant should be there just to witness and keep things cool, but this is between the coach and the player.

Keep this kid playing, that is the most important part. It will show her there is life beyond these sort of things. Being resilient is one of the best characteristics of a softball player(learned from DFP) and this is the time to be resilient. There will always be another pitch, another swing, another game to win, but when you loose your integrity, its lost for good.

Best of luck!
GG

 

[jdp29]

^ Why is a 14U coach calling the pitches? Shoot. I am tired of coaches ruining this sport for the girls.

Coaches call them in college, why not 14/U?

 

[jdp29]

Good for her, she was thinking for herself. The first time my daughter shook me off, I was pretty heated with her. In the same at bat, she was right..the kid jacked the next CU I called.

 

[Stand an]

Has the coach done anything like this before, maybe with another girl? I think situations like these demand communication, not yelling, but talking it out. And I think it needs to be your dd that does the talking with him. If your dd was able to recall that a particular batter was sitting on a change up to crush they need to figure out a way to communicate that information.

But then again, if this is a my way or the highway coach then maybe the highway is the better route.