Shaking off the coach...what to do?

[OhioFPMom]

My daughter is a pitcher on a 14U team and for the first time this weekend shook off a pitch the coach called. Reason - coach calls for a changeup and she knew that the batter had twice before had whacked the ball on the same pitch. Coach gets mad, calls for a timeout, walks up to her and tells her this: "You think you are the best player on this team, you think you are better than anyone else here. Well - you are not the best. And it was downright dis-respectful that you shot me down" She was in so much shock to hear that she did not know how to respond!

Later on she apologized to him and he told her that he wasn't mad at her. She is a tough kid and did not show anyone how much this upset her, but continued to pitch the game and play 2 more games after that. It was only on our ride back home she broke down. She did not want to play for the coach or the team anymore.

How would you handle this situation?

 

[GunnerShotgun]

It depends. My catcher and pitcher have permission to shake off signs if certain situations come up. For instance if my catcher *knows* a runner is stealing (she picked the sign from the 3B coach or heard something) she can shake off my change-up request for fastball outside.

As long as they can defend their decisions with sound logic I don't have a problem with it. It only happens a couple times a game.

Your coach sounds like he has control issues.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

^ Why is a 14U coach calling the pitches? Shoot. I am tired of coaches ruining this sport for the girls.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

Coach "dictators" are coaches to avoid in my book. NOT to say that if the pitcher shakes it off and gets burnt that she shouldn't get a little ribbing thereafter from the coach BUT it should go both ways.

With this configuration the coach and the pitcher learn from each other.

 

[YoungBuck]

Your coach sounds like he has control issues.

Sounds about right.

 

[GatorGirl]

She apologized and he said he wasn't mad...sounds like it is dispelled to me. I would have her explain that she remembered this girl whacked 2 change-ups and ask for a way to signal back to him(other than the shake off) that this was the case. He just probably didn't remember.

If he won't discuss it, then you might want to walk. There are no pros in this game. This is where kids learn integrity, sportsmanship, team work and how to think for themselves. If he isn't on board with this, you might want to reconsider WHAT he is teaching.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

^ Why is a 14U coach calling the pitches? Shoot. I am tired of coaches ruining this sport for the girls.

I have a particular pitcher/catcher combo that prefers that I call pitches when things get serious. I don't mind but I sometimes "get busy" doing other things and they are left to sort it out on their own.

There is little difference in the team ERA when I call pitchers versus when they do. And yes I do keep track of it.

 

[coachjwb]

Most coaches tell pitchers they can shake off pitch calls they are not comfortable with, especially if it doesn't happen a lot. I guess the heads up for the future is that pitchers should discuss this with their new coaches. But for him to react like that is way over the top. Given that he apologized, I'd write if off this once.

 

[sdsoftball]

^ Why is a 14U coach calling the pitches? Shoot. I am tired of coaches ruining this sport for the girls.

Yeah what Amy said. Why do we not want kids to think the game for themselves? The fact that she was paying attention more than the coach tells you all you need to know about both your daughter and her coach. I coach a 14U team also and I haven't called a pitch in more than two years. They do just fine if you just let them.

 

[sluggers]

While I understand your distress about your child being upset, this is pretty common. Surely, you have had experienced a situation where the boss/customer/client/teacher/spouse wants you to do "A" and you want to do "B". You might have very good, well-thought out reasons for doing "B", it is just the boss/customer/client/teacher/spouse want it done "his way".

SO:

The coach over-reacted. Getting "shook off" by a 14YOA girl barely moves the needle on the "disrespect" meter. But, you know, who knows what stress the guy was under? Maybe he was having a bad day...

Your DD reacted correctly during the game. When confronted by lunacy anywhere, the best approach is to say, "Gee, I'm sorry," and then move quietly toward the door.

Your DD (not you) should talk to the coach now that everyone has cooled down. Absolutely, your DD should be able to shake off a sign. She is not a robot.

What goes with "shaking off a sign" is that your DD then has to be *responsible* for the outcome. If she shakes off a sign and throws a bad pitch, then she has to say, "My fault."

POSTSCRIPT:

There are many coaches who view their players as a bunch of minions, who are simply there to do his bidding.