Need help with a question from a friend.

[PEPPERS]

Information I did not include the kids is a junior in HS, her BA for the year is posted on the web of her summer team by the coach so that is true. I talked to the parents of the kid who is 15. She made the team last 2 years, but saw limited playing time.

They found out the coach had talked to a number of people even a local sports reporter 2 months prior to start of workouts and one person told them the coach told him he was cutting the player because of the parents, that is the only reason that was given.

I know both parents, who are hard working, donate time to church and community, they would be the first to admit they are not perfect. They had talked to the coach according to them in the past, but never had harsh words. They called to set an appointment with the principal and were told next Friday or 8 days away was as soon as they could be seen and the coach would not be there.

The parents insist they are puzzled why they are the reason the kid was cut and why it was such a object of discussion for the coach to tell so many people. Parents advise if you have a problem with them set down and talk it out, but don’t take it out on my daughter. Daughter after hearing this told parents she wanted to switch schools and not to bother with a meeting; parents are undecided at this time.

I agree with the kid’s parents if a coach has issues with them work it out with them and not punish the kid. It’s like a teacher failing a kid because who the parents are. Looks to me they would have to be some type of ethics broke buy this coach.

Edit to add thanks for the suggestions, parents were given the web sight to read responses.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

I sure don't want to come off harsh, but he is the coach and that is his decision. I don't believe he owes anyone an explanation. If he doesn't like the girl/parents and doesn't want her on the team there must be a 'hidden' reason. I've been in this game for almost 30 years, seen things I didn't like or agree with but that's life. Just help this young lady to move onto bigger and better things.

No matter what the meeting with the principle goes like, if he puts her on the team she will be more miserable than if he doesn't. I am sorry this happened to a friend of yours, find a good travel team for the fall. And then rub it in his face each game the HS loses.

Her BA, is that a HS summer league, travel A or B class, rec??

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Daughter after hearing this told parents she wanted to switch schools and not to bother with a meeting; parents are undecided at this time.

I would have paid my son to transfer HS's his senior year. He wanted to stick it out, with his friends.

I know a few families that put their kids in different HS's for sports reasons and I know 2 that had to buy a house in district to do that. Of all the people that I know that did that , it worked great for them.

 

[PEPPERS]

I sure don't want to come off harsh, but he is the coach and that is his decision. I don't believe he owes anyone an explanation. If he doesn't like the girl/parents and doesn't want her on the team there must be a 'hidden' reason. I've been in this game for almost 30 years, seen things I didn't like or agree with but that's life. Just help this young lady to move onto bigger and better things.

No matter what the meeting with the principle goes like, if he puts her on the team she will be more miserable than if he doesn't. I am sorry this happened to a friend of yours, find a good travel team for the fall. And then rub it in his face each game the HS loses.

Her BA, is that a HS summer league, travel A or B class, rec??

It was HS travel ball 18U, she batted clean-up for summer team.

Parents advised they teach their daughter when live gives you lemons make lemonade approach to life. Parents think as advised before if he is forced to put the kid on the team it could be ugly.

 

[SnocatzDad]

May have done the parents a big favor. If this kid really has the potential to play in college and Mom and Dad blew it for her, this season of HS ball is irrelevant towards that goal (most college coaches don't care about HS performance for non-pitchers). What they can learn from this season is in the future let the kid play, coach coach, parents just cheer. Saying they don't know why the coach has this bias seems disingenuous. If it's really true and they really feel they have been model parents (i.e. no bad mouthing players/coaches, respectful to players/umpires/coaches at games, allow coach to coach the player rather than instructing from the stands) then they should probably bring it up to the AD. If they have engaged in any of the above in the past then they should know that most programs have a code of conduct for the players and their parents and if the coach feels they violated it he should let them know, but may not be required to especially if in his opinion the violtations were blatant and repeated.

I can guarantee that if a college coach comes to see a kid and smells even a whiff of an issue with Mom and Dad they will pass immediately unless the kid is a superstar talent and some will pass even on that not wanting to risk the disruption a problem parent brings to the whole team.

I know both parents, who are hard working, donate time to church and community, they would be the first to admit they are not perfect.

That pretty much says everything and reinforces my point that they are being disingenuous about not knowing what the coaches complaint is. Working hard and being involved in church doesn't make up for bad behavior at a ball field and expecting someone else to put up with bad behavior because your a good person isn't realistic. Take the wake up call for what it is and quit harming your kid.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

It was HS travel ball 18U, she batted clean-up for summer team.
.

Ok, still confused. In our area we have a HS division in different sanctions of travel ball. ( very few ). So she played with her HS, clean up with a .500 BA and didn't make the same school season team???

 

[PEPPERS]

Ok, still confused. In our area we have a HS division in different sanctions of travel ball. ( very few ). So she played with her HS, clean up with a .500 BA and didn't make the same school season team???

She played NSA 18 under summer ball or I thing they refere to it as HS division at NSA her team had one player from the HS team where she tried out.

GOINGDEEP
That pretty much says everything and reinforces my point that they are being disingenuous about not knowing what the coaches complaint is. Working hard and being involved in church doesn't make up for bad behavior at a ball field and expecting someone else to put up with bad behavior because your a good person isn't realistic. Take the wake up call for what it is and quit harming your kid.

The parents have had a number of people in the community come to their support and a number of people are upset at the coach. The parents made a complaint to the principal and have yet to hear an answer. The parents were conserned that the coach could also cause problem for their child in the class room, being school sports is an extension of the class room. I personally believe the parents that they are unaware of a problem. If there were a problem the parents take on it is that a meeting to discuss the problem with the coach should have been arranged. To look for a solution best for the child, school and team, what the coach did sounded like retaliation against the child.





The kid played her first B team game for the new school and pitched a 5 inning perfect game SO 12 and went 3 for 3 at the plate. Her mom called and told me after the game she was proud of her daughter to play so well under pressure. On another post I advised she was 4 for 4 at the plate I missunderstood one was a walk. The new school is trying to get her on varsity.

 

[Ivy's Dad]

She played NSA 18 under summer ball or I thing they refere to it as HS division at NSA her team had one player from the HS team where she tried out.

The kid played her first B team game for the new school and pitched a 5 inning perfect game SO 12 and went 3 for 3 at the plate. Her mom called and told me after the game she was proud of her daughter to play so well under pressure. On another post I advised she was 4 for 4 at the plate I missunderstood one was a walk. The new school is trying to get her on varsity.

I'm a little confused. Did she switch high schools? If so, why bother meeting with the coach from the previous school. If the new school is a better situation, just have her attend this school for her junior and senior year. Meeting with people from the previous school seems like a waste of time.

 

[PEPPERS]

Yes the child requested to switch school after finding out what the coach was reported to have done, and the parents concern for the coach causing problem in the class room because of his problem with the parents. The problem as I understand for the parents is the coaches code of conduct, advising other coaches and a sports writer the kid would never make his team because of the parents, monts before try outs. It could effect other kids who come along and try out for the coaches team in the future equal oppertunity.

 

[SoftSocDad]

It upsets me when a coach says that he won't talk to parents about cuts. That is why it is important to have coaches that are teachers and not just the first guy that is able to get off work early. If he is facility, he surely has office hours and the parents need to go to the AD, in an attempt to talk to him. An educator must be available to student's parents for at least one meeting.

Now, my dad would have been at this guy's house, in a heart beat.

While that's how your dad may have handled it, I could not disagree more with your philosophy here, given that we're talking about a high school team.

By the time a child is 14-15, she should be handling her own business in regards to school sports. Parents are responsible for making sure the child has medical clearance to play along with health insurance and transportation/pickup to and from games and practices. If there are team fundraisers, then parents should volunteer their support, but conversations with coaches? No way.

If parents want to know why a child didn't make the team, then the child - not the coach - should tell them:

"Mom, I know I'm a better hitter and infielder than those girls, but I just had a horrible week at tryouts. Sometimes, these things happen."

If it were a pay-to-play team, I might agree with you, but not when it comes to school sports unless a kid is being abused by a coach, etc.