Ill-equipped, 22 y/o, unmotivated TB HC in WAYYY over her head...when/if to step in?

[PA SB Dad]

Talk to her, face to face. You don't want it to look like a dad that swooped in and took a team away from the young ladies.

I agree. I would suggest you give the HC some honest feedback, and help her figure this out. At 22, it is tough if this is your first time dealing with parents and kids as the HC. You push her aside now, and the organization will lose her for good. Help her succeed, and you will have a great coach, maybe for many years.

If you are dead set on taking over, it will be the beginning of the end for your team. You've already sown the seeds of discontent among parents, and if you don't find a way to be "fair" to all of the players and be successful right away (ie win games), you will be seen as an overbearing disgruntled daddy-baller by parents who think you are not treating their kid "fairly".

I have to admit, when these situations occur on other teams/organizations, it's fun to watch the parental drama, but I always feel badly for the players.

 

[FP26]

That's just it. I noticed early on--as did other parents--that she was overwhelmed and that is when I started pitching in to help her. That's the way I work. Others will b*tch and moan at the situation but I believe in action. It seems that the more I have helped the more complacent she has become. I have made it clear to her via emails and texts that I am willing to do anything to help her and the team but lately I'm the one doing all the "moving and shaking." Something's wrong with that.

Sounds like you have already tried what I would have tried first. Then it is on to plan B. Move on... But I agree with Amy. Do so face to face. Ultimately, the entire process should be about the girls. And if this move is truly in the best interest of the girls, then it seems to be the best plan. If she truly is as overwhelmed as she seems, this move may even be a relief to her... Good luck! I wish you the best.

 

[WB Coach]

You've already sown the seeds of discontent among parents

I was the last to b*tch about the coaches and the first to help. How did I accomplish the above?

 

[PA SB Dad]

I was the last to b*tch about the coaches and the first to help. How did I accomplish the above?

I should clarify that when I say "you", I mean the collective you (you'se in Philly-speak), not you personally.

The parents are unhappy and willing to cast aside a coach who stepped up to take the team. Now the parents have decided they can do better. If you'se (the new coaches) don't deliver and make everyone happy (and there is no way that you'se can), you'se will merely be the next target. Being a HC takes more than organizational skills.

 

[medicpelle]

Have you talked to the people or person in charge of the org? Do they know the details? Seems like they might want to know whats going on, she may have them snowballed. If it is a reputable org they will address it if there is actually cause for concerns. If they don't I would abandon ship. I have been in this spot before. Good group of girls and a dysfunctional coaching staff followed up by a dysfunctional org. I made the mistake of joining my team with the wrong org. My DD and I made the choice of leaving prior to the season. It was tough on her not playing with the girls she was comfortable and with and had a great core of players. Side note, that team basically imploded mid-season last spring and is no longer around and the org also lost their 14 and 16 teams as well that season. Now I have been dragged out of "coaching retirement" and she is in a way better org and a way better team with zero drama. I had to make the best decision for her at the time It worked out for us. Good luck.

 

[jasonacer]

At 22 there are a lot of life changes that may be happening, college, career, relationships, family, etc. Has anyone sat down with her as a friend to find out if this is what's going on? A friendly ear may help. Once that relationship is established, giving suggestions and advice is much easier and is more readily accepted.
Sounds like it has gotten to the witch hunt level (albeit unintentionally, by the sounds of it). Contentious meetings will make it worse. And it does sound like you have your mind made up already. If so, a quick, clean cut is needed and then move on. But plan on her never coming back. And hopefully this is being kept FAR from the kids.
Tough situation, hope it works out for the best. I look forward to hearing what happens.

 

[RookKev]

If it's an organization, you also have 'managers' of that organization that can be brought into the fold. That may be a way to help as well.

 

[WB Coach]

If it's an organization, you also have 'managers' of that organization that can be brought into the fold. That may be a way to help as well.

Was pretty sure I mentioned it in the original post, but phone calls and emails to the organization go unanswered. The President of the league is stepping down, although his unattentiveness has always been an issue from the feedback I get from people who have tried to deal with him in the past. I wish I knew about all this before having my DD join this organization. What a mess.

I will say that I'm leaning towards trying to give the girl more help and getting the parents to rally behind her. I would hate for this thing to fall apart and have to say I didn't do all I could to help.

 

[WB Coach]

So it's four months later and I thought I'd share the update.

The team stayed together and I took over the administrative duties for the HC so she can concentrate on the players. I currently handle scheduling and all texting/emailing to the parents and they come to me with any issues and I filter it through to the HC. Unfortunately the HC is still young and I think she's more interested in partying than anything, especially since getting a boyfriend. We are in league play now and a few teams have cancelled on us last minute so that they can play in tournaments, not cool, I know, but the issue is that our HC isn't motivated to keep the girls playing. She doesn't seem to want to scramble to set up a scrimmage or find a tournament to replace the scheduled games. These girls are tired of practicing and want to PLAY! Just this week she wanted to cancel a tournament we are supposed to be in this Saturday-with four days notice-because our organization's president didn't get her the insurance certificate we needed. It's like he never returns her emails or calls. Okay, I know that's an issue with this guy but can our HC at least try SOMETHING! Call our league and ask if their insurance covers it. Make other calls. Don't just give up, you know?

So the frustration continues. I've already asked around and have found a spot on another team for my DD if she wants to leave this team. Her call. I've tried everything with this HC and it is what it is. I've supported her, talked to her, asked how I can help, stuck up for her, defended her when parents wanted to lynch her, but I think it may be time for me to step off and let someone else take over my responsibilities. It is a shame that it will be the team that suffers.

 

[InsidePitch]

I took over the administrative duties for the HC so she can concentrate on the players. I currently handle scheduling and all texting/emailing to the parents

Sounds like it was your job to get the Insurance cert and round up a team to scrimmage last minute.

She is the one that is supposed to make the girls better players.