If you could start your DD into softball all over again............
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Sitting around the house today going over college camps and invites, DD heads for a 3 day D1 in the morning. And all I can say is it's starting to sink in. Mine will be a senior next year, and her life is going to really begin. I sat at the table with her tonight as we weighed all the options and talked about her future. She and her mother just left to go shopping, I went to the closet and took out some old photo albums of this little, gap in her teeth, glove almost too big for her body, starry eyed 6 year old, her first year in rec.
If I could start all over............I wouldn't change much..........I just wish I could live all those memories again.
My only advice to you young parents or parents of younger kids, make every game you can, forget the almighty dollar, get involved in her team no matter how small a contribution, these years have gone by too fast for this dad.
If I could start all over............I wouldn't change much..........I just wish I could live all those memories again.
My only advice to you young parents or parents of younger kids, make every game you can, forget the almighty dollar, get involved in her team no matter how small a contribution, these years have gone by too fast for this dad.
A Few Things I would do differently:
1. I would get myself to some coaching clinics years earlier so that I would know what I was talking about.
2. I would realize that winning in Rec League is not nearly as important as it seemed at the time.
3. Understand that when they reach college the politics and donors are more important than they were in Rec ball.
4. Know that there is a difference between someone asking my opinion, and someone that really wants it.
5. Make sure that my daughters, their mother, and I enjoy every minute of it.
1. I would get myself to some coaching clinics years earlier so that I would know what I was talking about.
2. I would realize that winning in Rec League is not nearly as important as it seemed at the time.
3. Understand that when they reach college the politics and donors are more important than they were in Rec ball.
4. Know that there is a difference between someone asking my opinion, and someone that really wants it.
5. Make sure that my daughters, their mother, and I enjoy every minute of it.
And I agree with you GOINGDEEP, it goes go by too fast. Much too fast (at least for my oldest).
I couldn't agree more with GOINGDEEP. The time has flown by.
I would've changed two things. DD played slowpitch until 8th grade. that's all we had around the area. I was the one that started up a fastpitch team. I didn't realize all the opportunities out there in fastpitch.
I would have started her earlier.
The other, get her involved in camps at colleges in the fall and winter. DD is getting a lot of interest, however, if we would have started earlier, I think going into this summer, it would be all done.
Enjoy the time, because it does fly by
I would've changed two things. DD played slowpitch until 8th grade. that's all we had around the area. I was the one that started up a fastpitch team. I didn't realize all the opportunities out there in fastpitch.
I would have started her earlier.
The other, get her involved in camps at colleges in the fall and winter. DD is getting a lot of interest, however, if we would have started earlier, I think going into this summer, it would be all done.
Enjoy the time, because it does fly by
Cannonball
Ex "Expert"
- Feb 25, 2009
- 4,882
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My dd has just finished her freshman year in college and so, our journey is not over. Still, I don't think she would change a thing. She is playing for a coach she respects and likes and has had a tremendous year. In the process, there were some things that I'd like to point out to others but, again, I wouldn't change them because my dd turned some from a negative to a positive.
I hope some find a benefit to this post.
- My dd was first recruited by a team when she was a freshman. Sure she had to go to them but then the coach followed her at various tournaments. She started receiving in the mail, Christmas picture post cards of the team and then, per NCAA guidelines, she got the emails, and the personal approach. How dare they do that! My dd shared "stuff" with the head coach and one assistant via emails and was so wrapped up in that school that she told other schools she was going to this particular school. Then, after a visit, we were told to come back for an offer but had to be on campus for the offer. I couldn't do it that weekend since we had a tournament. The head coach came to that tournament. In doing so, he like two of dd's teammates. DD hit 3 bombs, 3 doubles and hit .616 that weekend all in front of the coach. The next Friday, I called the coach and told him we were headed down and wanted to know what time he wanted to meet. There was silence on the other end. He told me that dd's two teammates came down during the week and he offered them so he only had limited money for my dd. He should have had to have been in the room when I told my dd. It broke her heart. She sent emails asking what she did wrong and why they no longer wanted her. She did not receive another response to any email. We saw this coach at a big exposure tournament. I was very proud of my dd when she told me she was going to go up to him and talk to him. I stood by and watched. She went, shook his hand and wished him well. Then she came back, asked for the keys to the car and went to the car to cry some more.
- My dd was recruited by about 30 D-I and D-II schools. She is not a superstar but does ok. Anyway, she decided to go to a D-II school based upon the coach and the school's reputation in the subject she is majoring in. You can not believe how much crappola she has heard for deciding to go D-II. For my dd it was the right choice. She is happy and she believes that her team will take off next year and do well. Again, this keeps her working to be a leader on that team.
- When talking to some of the D-I schools, often many people don't think about in-state versus out of state tuition. It matters a lot. One D-I that had shown a lot of interest and where dd went for an official visit started talking money and sure enough, even with the athletic scholarship (40% offer) it would have cost us $16,000 per year. YIKES. For us, that was not what we were looking for. Had I realized that, I would have never waisted my weekend and time visiting that school. You might want to ask these types of questions before you ruin your weekend.
I hope some find a benefit to this post.
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Cannonball, that was a great story. Lots of folks ( including me ) don't understand the softball college journey. I've seen some play their cards right for 10 years and get nothing. On the other hand I've seen some do everything wrong and get a great offer. Softball is nuts for sure.
DD left this morning for a 3 day D1 camp, her first. ( remember we had the cuff tear last summer and missed out on that valuable time ) She and I discussed what you mention above, and it's very true. Playing D1 is not all its cracked up to be, it's a tough road. I've seen a few boys and girls quit because it's not all glamour and glory.
Echoing you, school reputation and major have a lot to do with it. I like a D2 that is interested in DD, very good education and private college. Then we have a JUCO interested right down the road that would be convenient, and has a pretty decent program. We have a NAIA about 45 mins away with another good interest.
DD wants to do something "medical", some colleges due to majors have her leaning into one field more than others. That's also what we have to look at.
Then I hear a few horror stories of colleges luring in freshman on year to year scholarships. One girl from the area got a $24,000 private school tuition, after the dust settled she paid $2500. After her first ( decent playing ) season they reduced her scholarship, and now pays $12000 a year. What happens the next year?
DD left this morning for a 3 day D1 camp, her first. ( remember we had the cuff tear last summer and missed out on that valuable time ) She and I discussed what you mention above, and it's very true. Playing D1 is not all its cracked up to be, it's a tough road. I've seen a few boys and girls quit because it's not all glamour and glory.
Echoing you, school reputation and major have a lot to do with it. I like a D2 that is interested in DD, very good education and private college. Then we have a JUCO interested right down the road that would be convenient, and has a pretty decent program. We have a NAIA about 45 mins away with another good interest.
DD wants to do something "medical", some colleges due to majors have her leaning into one field more than others. That's also what we have to look at.
Then I hear a few horror stories of colleges luring in freshman on year to year scholarships. One girl from the area got a $24,000 private school tuition, after the dust settled she paid $2500. After her first ( decent playing ) season they reduced her scholarship, and now pays $12000 a year. What happens the next year?
I'll share, because I (think/hope) I actually learned a lot. My DD was a four-year varsity starter at a smaller high-school. Played pretty high level travel. She is now a freshman in college, not playing softball. She actually "accepted" a D3 opportunity to play in the fall of her senior year at a great academic school, changed her mind and decided to go to a bigger D1-sized (and still great academic) school in the spring and not play in college (she's not a D1-type recruit). It was an uncomfortable decision/timing but this was a huge life choice for her and ultimately her decision. In hindsight a year later it was absolutely the right thing for her. So I'm proud of her and happy for her.
Most of the girls she played with in travel are now playing in college (a few are not). I'd say almost everyone had the opportunity to go that route if they chose. THAT fact more than anything was the most amazing thing I learned in my first go around (I have an incoming H.S. freshman next year). I had NO idea it was possible to play college ball when we started. I was hoping she'd get to play in high school. I myself would have given anything to have played college ball as a kid (preferably basketball) but at that time it seemed as possible as playing in the NBA. I didn't know a single kid boy or girl that played a college sport when I was a kid. I know dozens now. What happened? I don't know exactly....
BECAUSE it is possible to get on a good travel team, work hard and have college opportunities, it is difficult not becoming sort of obsessed with that path. I was certainly disappointed when my DD decided not to play in college, MY ego was absolutely involved and I had to swallow my pride when talking with other softball dads/moms. Thankfully, she was more adult and mature about it then I was : > And she's doing well at socially and academically at a great college with a year now under her belt, back home with us for the summer!
How does this impact my second DD? Rather than put her in a top-top-level competitive program, we've put together a very competitive feeder type/area team, to be fair, a notch below the very best. We have been getting better each year -- this year we are pretty USSSA competitive, and headed for Disney this summer. We try to teach them well and play the right way. But we are not a recruit-a-team, making us definitely a notch below ASA/Premier teams in our area. Our goal is to take another step forward next year. We're going to try to balance getting exposure for the kids that want it (while not wasting money on Colorado trips etc. with little pay-off) with those that don't (following in her sister's influential footsteps, my second DD isn't dying to play in college, but we'll see, she's probably more talented). All our girls aim to play H.S. varsity and play well and we're working hard to help them reach their goals.
I'm having more fun this second time around. There's less pressure for DD to perform or be cut/not play as on a top travel team. I am coaching again, which I gave up with my first one around 16U so she could play on better teams coached by paid coaches. I enjoy that. I am a little worried that our team will start to splinter apart in the next few years because girls will have different goals and get different pressures to move up and on. I've told myself that if it happens we'll all part with good feelings and no regrets -- but you never know. Hoping it all works out. I've got my second (and last) DD's high school years yet to go -- four more years hopefully : >
She actually went to her first summer camp session this morning with her new high school team (she's playing for a larger public school rather than the private one her older sis played for). We'll see how it went when she gets home today : >
Most of the girls she played with in travel are now playing in college (a few are not). I'd say almost everyone had the opportunity to go that route if they chose. THAT fact more than anything was the most amazing thing I learned in my first go around (I have an incoming H.S. freshman next year). I had NO idea it was possible to play college ball when we started. I was hoping she'd get to play in high school. I myself would have given anything to have played college ball as a kid (preferably basketball) but at that time it seemed as possible as playing in the NBA. I didn't know a single kid boy or girl that played a college sport when I was a kid. I know dozens now. What happened? I don't know exactly....
BECAUSE it is possible to get on a good travel team, work hard and have college opportunities, it is difficult not becoming sort of obsessed with that path. I was certainly disappointed when my DD decided not to play in college, MY ego was absolutely involved and I had to swallow my pride when talking with other softball dads/moms. Thankfully, she was more adult and mature about it then I was : > And she's doing well at socially and academically at a great college with a year now under her belt, back home with us for the summer!
How does this impact my second DD? Rather than put her in a top-top-level competitive program, we've put together a very competitive feeder type/area team, to be fair, a notch below the very best. We have been getting better each year -- this year we are pretty USSSA competitive, and headed for Disney this summer. We try to teach them well and play the right way. But we are not a recruit-a-team, making us definitely a notch below ASA/Premier teams in our area. Our goal is to take another step forward next year. We're going to try to balance getting exposure for the kids that want it (while not wasting money on Colorado trips etc. with little pay-off) with those that don't (following in her sister's influential footsteps, my second DD isn't dying to play in college, but we'll see, she's probably more talented). All our girls aim to play H.S. varsity and play well and we're working hard to help them reach their goals.
I'm having more fun this second time around. There's less pressure for DD to perform or be cut/not play as on a top travel team. I am coaching again, which I gave up with my first one around 16U so she could play on better teams coached by paid coaches. I enjoy that. I am a little worried that our team will start to splinter apart in the next few years because girls will have different goals and get different pressures to move up and on. I've told myself that if it happens we'll all part with good feelings and no regrets -- but you never know. Hoping it all works out. I've got my second (and last) DD's high school years yet to go -- four more years hopefully : >
She actually went to her first summer camp session this morning with her new high school team (she's playing for a larger public school rather than the private one her older sis played for). We'll see how it went when she gets home today : >
