It is great you live in a world where you can blindly trust your kids welfare to people you do not know. Most people are not so fortunate to live in such a utopia.
HS Tryouts -Should I scope them out?
- Thread starter WARRIORMIKE
- Start date
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It is great you live in a world where you can blindly trust your kids welfare to people you do not know. Most people are not so fortunate to live in such a utopia.
- Jun 19, 2013
- 753
- 28
There is a ton of truth in this. In the age of Oprah telling everyone you need more me time put yourself first! I see a ton of parents who can't wait to drop their kids off and check out. I have multiple reasons for not doing this.
1. Life is short they will be gone before you know it, I can put my comfort aside for a few years and give my kids the attention/protection they deserve.
2. I like to see what's going on I also read the news every day and know how many sexual predators are continually being arrested who worked with kids in school and clubs. Those victims are typically the kids who have no one paying attention to them. The odds of my kids being a victim of this sort of crime is minimal with the parent involvement they have.
3. I consider myself one of my DDs coaches and training partner. I actually work with my kid on off nights. I like to see how she is performing. Do we need to work on throws to first? is she one of the slower runners? do we need to work on bunting? is she throwing with correct spin or just throwing? Can't believe more parents just think little Janey is going to become awesome showing up to a few practices a week. I don't say a word I just watch and sometimes take notes if necessary. I have emailed a coach a few times afterwards and asked for drills to work on a weak area.
4. I can't tell you how many times I have given a kid a bottle of water, granola bar, a hair tie, some sunscreen, etc. at a practice or when their parents have dropped them off on a 90 degree day for warms ups and haven't shown up by game time - or disappeared between games. My favorite was the mom group who ran off for pedicures and wine every chance they got and their girls would mooch my daughters water and snacks day in and day out.
5. If I hadn't been sitting right there and heard things myself that were said by two of the joker coaches that we had the last few years I wouldn't have believed it. I would have definitely thought it was an exaggeration of a teenager. I might add most of this was heard when he thought no one was in earshot except the players because I was out of his site by a dug out or in my car with the door open. I pulled my DD from a horrible team after fall ball one year thanks to being aware of what was going on. We would have been up a creek if we were stuck with them for an entire season as that team imploded.
6. My DD is a pitcher who was switched to I/R until this year we have had MULTIPLE issues with coaches trying to change her mechanics, generally I wanted to be aware during the transition what was going on. Now that I think about it I do have to admit I jumped in two times that I can think of in the middle of this sort of thing.
We are new to HS and I am fine with a closed try out - but if everything is secretive and behind closed doors I would have some serious concerns and would question what needs to be hidden.
WARRIORMIKE
Pro-Staff Everything
check out the my latest post
http://www.discussfastpitch.com/being-softball-parent/29711-my-ninja-skills-failed.html
Everything you mention is great for pre-high school. I just think HS is different and its time for moms and dads to step back and not be at practice. Majority of kids dont want you there anyway. its all part of the maturation procecss
- Feb 7, 2013
- 3,188
- 48
I agree. I think by HS especially by Soph yr a well worded "how did it go, what did u do" disscussion/interview and their demeanor and words when answering will tell you a lot if you pay attention to them instead of asking then thinking about what's for supper as they answer. DD immediately jumped on the HE crap they were pushing. The sub text as time went on told me and my wife there was more. Nothing serious just punitive, run for walks, run for hits, run for HR. Put blame here or there by coach with no offer of correction. Came down to " I've lost games and while a bummer still had fun, now we lose or win and can't enjoy playing". So us as parents "well make the most of this yr and tough it out, we can make a decision about nxt yr". Nothing warrenting a visit to AD, practice or coach.
It's not about blindly trusting others. It's about understanding where you are sending them and trusting your kids, that you raised, to recognize right from wrong and immediately respond accordingly. If you have a school person who has gotten themselves into a position where they can take advantage, they are not hitting a kid over the head in the middle of a tryout and dragging them behind the shed. They are grooming them over days and weeks, they are taking them off from the group in a way that makes the kid feel special and that's the risk. Not going to a tryout on their own. I think it's too bad you live in a world where you can't trust anyone and cant allow your dds to go off on their own and enjoy life without dad or mom looking over their shoulders. I won't be here forever, and sadly I don't know what day it is I won't be around anymore. I feel my job is to prepare my kids for the day they are on their own, letting my kids go off on their own with guidelines and rules, just like my parents did with me. Prepara them for the day I'm not there to guide them any longer
As the great man said - Trust but verify. what exactly is your method for "understanding where you are sending them" if have no clue about that environment or who is there? You live in small town where you probably can afford the luxury of a high level of trust. If you lived 40 miles to your SW in New Fallujah you would might have a different perspective.
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First of all I am talking HS age players here, I am not talking about TB tryouts where you don't know anyone and you don't have a clue about the fields...As the great man said - Trust but verify. what exactly is your method for "understanding where you are sending them" if have no clue about that environment or who is there? You live in small town where you probably can afford the luxury of a high level of trust. If you lived 40 miles to your SW in New Fallujah you would might have a different perspective.
I understand that I am sending them to an open field, attached to a school coach where the school performed a background check. I also am aware that the majority of sexual predator's in the world use technology to find, identify and "meet" their victims. People are so concerned about sending their kids outside where the risk is low, but have no problem letting their kids get on the internet in their bedrooms and chat and share with virtual friends who are literal strangers. This is more scary to me then sending my kid to a ball field that holds 30 other kids and 3 coaches, that is across the street from the parking lot that 200 students and 40 adults park their cars and come and go all day and evening. I am not afraid of that situation, and frankly I don't think 99% of the people who go to practice are afraid of their dds being sexually abused at a tryout. They are afraid that someone might tell them to squish a bug, or show the catcher their elbow. They are afraid that little Suzy's mom might sidle up to the coach and sweet talk her dd a spot on the team, they are afraid that no one knows that their dd is a poor practice player, but a real gamer... I have seen the aftermath of a lot of tryouts, no one ever has discussed the safety of the new coach, its always trying to determine the pecking order, is my dd the top dawg? Is she in the top 5, top 10, is she on the bubble... For 90% its not about player safety, because they know the kid is safe. Its about does my dd make the team and what do I have to do if she is at risk of not making it.
BTW I grew up 40 miles to my SW in Detroit, it was a very rough and tough area, the crime rates then were as high or higher then they are now. Our parents kicked us out of the house and wanted us to explore, play, fish by the river... We had no cell phones to check in with, we had rules and our parents and our friends parents taught us how to act in public and how to recognize danger, we used to call it street smart, now we call it common sense. You have to teach it, but its not all theory. At some time your kids have to go out and apply it.
Practice/Tryouts should be game like situation...
