How to handle a "helicopter dad"

[quincy]

This thread has switched to my opinion a little bit.

Some posters seem to have a strong opinion about it.

If I may, why do you care what another parent does? (within reason, my reason) Another assumption is DD is fine, which OP stated.

 

[Cannonball]

This thread has switched to my opinion a little bit.

Some posters seemed to have a strong opinion about it.

If I may, why do you care what another parent does? (within reason, my reason) Another assumption is DD is fine, which OP stated.

Quincy, here is why I would care. I picked the coaches my dd played for. It took a long time to let her play for someone else but I did so to enable her to grow some as a player. However, I vetted those coaches prior to letting her play for them. Some dad off the streets may be ok. However, he may have other agendas including giving out selective advice to certain players etc. to gain a foothold with the parents. Then, he might try to take players the next year for a new team he will coach. I've seen that done. He might be a narcissist who thinks he knows it all when, in fact, he knows nothing. Then, the advice he gives if attempted by a player might hurt her game. Personally, I have a problem with any player's parent who hovers around. I don't like it as a coach or a parent. At times I wonder if they are a predator.

Lets take the way I coached my dd in hitting. It was not the same as most others here attempted. When I talked to to her last TB coach, we talked hitting, the cues I used and the drills my dd did. He understood the process I discussed. I knew our thoughts were similar. Still, a lot of "experts" would have tried to change her. I'd be hacked off if one of those "experts" was a dad who didn't know crap.

Finally, parents like this cause distension. It won't be long before this guy runs around telling everyone what he would have done. He will start telling parent how he would use their dds regardless of whether he is actually telling the truth or currying favor with those parents. I've repeated several stories about one of those type parents who's dd played with my dd. That didn't work out too well for him.

 

[smddad]

Does he bother you, or does he bother the players?

 

[bigchad64]

I have to sit through enough softball tournaments with parents from the team, if someone is annoying to me I'll just talk to them directly (and I'd appreciate others doing the same with me). Like others, I've started just planting myself in the outfield just so I'm not annoying to my own DD, but there are some people that just won't keep their opinions to themselves. And coaching other people's DD as a non-coach? Forget that mess! I'd be straight up with someone and let them know that though they may even be correct in their assessment, I like to let the coaches coach during a game, and minimize the voices speaking into mechanics.

I know some coaches have a "no drama" rule, but to me speaking to someone adult to adult isn't drama. Talking to other people about the person you have a problem with, that is drama.

If he was trying to give pitching advise, I'd amp up the conversation to 11 (Spinal Tap reference).

 

[grcsftbll]

I'm fairly antisocial so I'd probably enjoy sitting in the outfield area. But I'd have a hard time keeping score. I'm always losing track of the count. I'm a terrible score keeper and mostly do it for my nerves.

 

[CoogansBluff]

And coaching other people's DD as a non-coach? Forget that mess! I'd be straight up with someone and let them know that though they may even be correct in their assessment, I like to let the coaches coach during a game, and minimize the voices speaking into mechanics.

I agree that sideline parents should coach the players. That's the coach's job. But what about sideline parents calling out sideline parents? Could one argue that this also is the coach's job? Even though you may be correct in your assessment that the parent is out of line, is this a parent's job? To police the other parents?

 

[Cannonball]

Anything that has to do with some guy attempting to coach my dd is my job. We could create all kinds of scenarios. For example, suppose your dd threw a couple of balls in the dirt. Now, this dad tries to coach her on what to do. Are you telling me that you bucketdads would sit to the side and let this guy coach your kid? Not on your life would you guys do that. Suppose that your dd made a critical error. Are you telling me that you would sit to the side as this dad tried to coach your dd after that error?

What you see here is this thread is a microcosm of what will happen to that team if the coaches don't step in and tell that dad to have a seat.

BTW, I think I might have mentioned this but I overheard a mom this week talking about being a "helicopter parent." She said she was not a helicopter parent. she was an "Apache Attack Helicopter Parent."

 

[Ramchicken]

Thanks for the input Cannonball, unlike some previous posters I am in no way a "helicopter dad" far from it. Just looking for some advice was all. Thanks to all for input, maybe this will help others as my DD is in her last year of TB and we can all handle this situation. Lots of people don't all watch the same game I guess

 

[Sparky Guy]

He might be a narcissist who thinks he knows it all when, in fact, he knows nothing.

The most dangerous person on the field. The guy doesn't know just much he doesn't know.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Anything that has to do with some guy attempting to coach my dd is my job.

Good point.

But then does our jurisdiction extend beyond ''don't coach mine.''