How to enjoy the ride

[sluggers]

My DD is a high school senior. We're right in the thick of things, but I've learned a few things so far along the way:

If your daughter ends up at a far reach school by some late in the game last minute pick-up slot, she may be the bottom-of-the-depth-chart kid, and you don't want that. I've been there. Traveling hundreds of miles and missing key classes to not play is not super fun. I did manage to scrape out a starting spot for myself by senior year, but I had to work extremely hard and completely change my position and style of play. The payoff was some fun and enjoyment senior year. Not an offer to go pro and earn a gazillion dollars. Looking back, I missed out on a lot of other things that my University had to offer. Was it worth it? I don't know, because I have nothing to compare it to. Maybe.

Thanks. This is *EXACTLY* what I try to tell parents. But, they don't want to hear it. Everybody thinks their kid is going to be batting 4th and playing SS as a freshman. (I've never understood this...the college kids practice softball every day, 5 days a week, 9 months out of the year. They are really, really good.)

I tried to explain this to someone about a year ago. I said his DD would have to work very hard, and that it was unlikely she would play much as a freshman. She would be a 19YOA kid competing with 22YOA women. The junior and senior simply aren't going to hand over their starting job to a freshman because she was "All-State" from Lake Wobegon.

He laughed and said, "You don't know how talented my DD is. She'll be the Big Dog pitcher as a freshman." His DD ended up with 22 innings last year.

The internal competition on good teams is fierce. If a kid is not ready for it, she'll be buried. Even if she is ready for it, she may not be good enough.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Thanks. This is *EXACTLY* what I try to tell parents. But, they don't want to hear it. Everybody thinks their kid is going to be batting 4th and playing SS as a freshman. (I've never understood this...the college kids practice softball every day, 5 days a week, 9 months out of the year. They are really, really good.)

I tried to explain this to someone about a year ago. I said his DD would have to work very hard, and that it was unlikely she would play much as a freshman. She would be a 19YOA kid competing with 22YOA women. The junior and senior simply aren't going to hand over their starting job to a freshman because she was "All-State" from Lake Wobegon.

He laughed and said, "You don't know how talented my DD is. She'll be the Big Dog pitcher as a freshman." His DD ended up with 22 innings last year.

The internal competition on good teams is fierce. If a kid is not ready for it, she'll be buried. Even if she is ready for it, she may not be good enough.

Being realistic about your chances of playing is important. No argument there.

But, sometimes it's hard to project where you might fit in, especially if you're still 2-3 years away when you commit. My DD (2018) is getting some mid-major attention. She needs to get a lot better, IMO, to be a factor at those schools at any point, even as a senior. She could play D-II or D-III and increase her chances of playing quite a bit.

But do you turn down a shot at playing at the highest level? If you don't take that opportunity, would you then wonder what would've been? At a mid-major, you might get to play against Tennesseee or UCLA, or win a conference and get into the NCAA tournament and play those schools with something on the line. It might be a long shot, but if you've been playing softball for 10+ years, would you regret it if you didn't try to take it as far as you could?

Kinda like the line in Rocky, where the bar owner makes fun of Apollo Creed, calls him a clown, and Rocky says, ''He took his best shot and became champ -- What shot did you ever take?''

 

[JAD]

One key to enjoying the recruiting process is having realistic expectations about your DD and her abilities. Most kids would love to play at Alabama or Florida, but there are very few spots available. Full ride scholarships, especially at the major D1 programs are few and far between. There are a lot of girls verballed to SEC schools right now who will receive little to no athletic money as a freshman. Not to mention that going to 6am workouts 6 days a week when you are receiving no financial aid and your chances for playing time are minimal is an eye opening experience.

 

[marriard]

But, sometimes it's hard to project where you might fit in, especially if you're still 2-3 years away when you commit. My DD (2018) is getting some mid-major attention. She needs to get a lot better, IMO, to be a factor at those schools at any point, even as a senior. She could play D-II or D-III and increase her chances of playing quite a bit.

But do you turn down a shot at playing at the highest level? If you don't take that opportunity, would you then wonder what would've been? At a mid-major, you might get to play against Tennesseee or UCLA, or win a conference and get into the NCAA tournament and play those schools with something on the line. It might be a long shot, but if you've been playing softball for 10+ years, would you regret it if you didn't try to take it as far as you could?

Kinda like the line in Rocky, where the bar owner makes fun of Apollo Creed, calls him a clown, and Rocky says, ''He took his best shot and became champ -- What shot did you ever take?''

I have been lucky enough to be involved with a bunch of girls who have played through college.

It is 4 years...in general the ones who enjoyed it the most, played the most, even if perhaps they could have played in a higher division (and for the ones who were 'stars' at low DI and DII a few transferred up divisions when it became important to them). There isn't a lot of time to be waiting for what could be a very slight opportunity.

This isn't everywhere else in the world where you are going to play until you are 40 (my pet peeve) and 4 years go REAL fast. Be on the field as much as you can - way too many girls end up on the bench for 2 years and end up quitting because the amount of work is ridiculous to not play.

 

[JAD]

Would your DD be better off playing at a smaller school as a freshman and sophomore, then transferring to a bigger school for her junior and senior seasons vs. sitting the bench as an underclassman at a big school? A lot of smaller schools can give more financial assistance, so the "out of pocket" expense for a 4 year degree could be significantly less. A lot of college coaches also like a battle tested transfer, just ask Riseball! I would also like to point out that when your DD gets her degree after 4 years (hopefully), it will not have an asterisk at the bottom noting where she attended as a freshman and sophomore.....

 

[CoogansBluff]

Would your DD be better off playing at a smaller school as a freshman and sophomore, then transferring to a bigger school for her junior and senior seasons vs. sitting the bench as an underclassman at a big school? A lot of smaller schools can give more financial assistance, so the "out of pocket" expense for a 4 year degree could be significantly less. A lot of college coaches also like a battle tested transfer, just ask Riseball! I would also like to point out that when your DD gets her degree after 4 years (hopefully), it will not have an asterisk at the bottom noting where she attended as a freshman and sophomore.....

In the case of my DD, I'm not saying she is definitely choosing the D-I (if she even gets that opportunity). Just saying that this is part of the decision-making process - weighing both sides. If she knows she is not likely to play, then it's an easy choice. But you don't always know that until you try. If you are basically asked to walk on, then that's a clue that you're a long shot. But you might be 50-50. And for D-I, you might commit as a sophomore or even younger. You don't know how good you might be in 3-4 years.

I

It is 4 years...in general the ones who enjoyed it the most, played the most, even if perhaps they could have played in a higher division (and for the ones who were 'stars' at low DI and DII a few transferred up divisions when it became important to them). There isn't a lot of time to be waiting for what could be a very slight opportunity.

Not necessarily talking about very slight opportunities. If it's 1 in 25 that you'll start at a D-I that offers minimal money, then D-II is looking pretty good.

But what if it's 1-in-4 that you'll be you'll be a starter at least one season at D-I James Madison vs. 3-in-4 that you'll be a 4-year starter at D-II Wingate? Who will be happier? If you say Wingate, then what if it's 1-in-3 at James Madison? Or a 50-50 shot? If it's all about playing, and not about taking your shot, then you have to be a can't-miss prospect before you would even consider D-I.

Add that to the fact that it's hard to gauge your exact chances in the 9th/10th grade. It might not become apparent until you're a senior, or freshman in college.

 

[Indiana]

I'm glad my story has helped! Everyone is different; I was a very shy kid who knew how to study and how to play sports.

Classifications vs ability level are relative. My school was an Ivy, so I guess I would say mid/lower D1. For ME, any D1 was a stretch. I was happy at my school academically and socially. The fact that I never played freshman and sophomore year (and maybe 1/4 of the game junior year) was depressing, but I had other things at school that made me happy. I REALLY didn't like the long bus rides after not playing. That was the worst part. Looking back a smaller D3 might have helped me come out of my shell a little bit while excelling on the field, who knows. I was very, very proud of my school, though, and proud of myself just for being there, so I think that counted for something as well.

 

[marriard]

If it's all about playing, and not about taking your shot, then you have to be a can't-miss prospect before you would even consider D-I.

Add that to the fact that it's hard to gauge your exact chances in the 9th/10th grade. It might not become apparent until you're a senior, or freshman in college.

In my opinion, when you consider a college for education and sport, considering your real chances of playing and playing a lot should absolutely be a major consideration.

If you are NOT going to be OK sitting watching for a year or so while putting in 40+ hours of practice and other team related activities per week, then this is very important to you. Maybe for someone else they may be OK with this. For example we had one player who went to a high-D1 school with her dream education program and was OK if she didn't play until her Junior year. Got to know your priorities.

And yes, it absolutely may not be apparent a players real level until the player is a junior/senior in HS or even a freshman in college. It is why early recruiting only really benefits the colleges (and some parents egos). Fortunately you don't have to sign a NLI as a HS freshman or sophomore, so you still have time to make another decision before you do. And it is also good to know there is more than one path to playing to your level (JUCO/transfers/WCWS, etc).

 

[Bubrox]

Here's something else to think about....DD1 is verballed to a small DII. People ask why she is on such a good travel team and why we still travel since she is verballed. DD1 wants to get better and play tougher competition so that when she gets to college she will be at or near that level to play college softball.