Small issue on dd's team this summer. We have a player who has an impossible attitude. It is more complicated because the dad is an asst. Coach. This is a 16u exposure team. Some examples are the girl showing up umpires who dare to call a pitch a strike on her, ignoring the head coach, then acting like she didn't hear him, literally stomping off to right field because the other catcher was in. I like her dad, but definitely does not see his dd the way the rest of the parents do. The head coach has not given in. She is currently the number 2 catcher. I sort of seen this coming, when she made her hs varsity squad. She sat all year on the bench, but if you could watch her at practices, she acted like she was the mvp on her hs team. Her and her dads head swelled quite a bit. Now we are back at travel on a good team and she is currently a role type player. It really doesn't have an effect on my dd. She knows to stay away from the cancer. I do help the team with the pitchers, and occasionally have to deal with the poor attitude of this girl. I have simply learned to ignore everything and work with the girls who want to get better. The last part of the story is the head coach asked me if I had heard anything. I guess the dad called and complained his dd was not catching enough. I told him I didn't hear anything. I am thinking there is some more to this story upcoming. Am I right by staying out of it? If my dd displayed this behavior, I would pull her off the field and she would not see daylight for a month. My gut says this girl will be on yet another team by fall.
How do you handle a bad attitude on your team?
- Thread starter joemcq51
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From personal experience Ill say if the HC ignores or doesnt very specifically handle this attitude itll become contagious and potentially destroy the team on the inside.
I thought I was working through such an issue when I should have removed this issue. My lack of a swift removal cost me more than that player.
I thought I was working through such an issue when I should have removed this issue. My lack of a swift removal cost me more than that player.
- Apr 13, 2013
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If you are not the HC, I would stay out of it. Heck if I was the AC I am not sure how much I would get involved in the whole thing.
Hopefully when the player falls it will not be too far and she will be able to get back up.
Hopefully when the player falls it will not be too far and she will be able to get back up.
- Jan 24, 2011
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Stay out of it and let the HC handle it if it becomes necessary
I will say that you need to tell the HC that there is an issue that needs his attention. As I always say - if I don't know their is an issue how can I address it? What might seem obvious to everyone else can sometimes be totally missed by someone with a completely different involvement on the team (i.e. one of the coaches).
I am not saying that you need to get involved in giving details - it is more a word in his ear "Hey, how are you handling XXX's attitude before it gets worse."
I am not saying that you need to get involved in giving details - it is more a word in his ear "Hey, how are you handling XXX's attitude before it gets worse."
Discussions between you and the HC should be about the entire team or your DD. It should not involve your input/comments/complaints about another player, even if the HC comes to you. If it is as described, I'm sure he has noticed and knows he needs to do something, especially if it is a role player. She would be lucky to make it to the end of this season on most teams.
- May 25, 2010
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You're in a tough spot, because you're aware that there are issues and because the HC considers you a trusted ear or adviser.
If you're not comfortable answering the question, just say so. There's nothing wrong with not having sufficient information to give the coach what he's looking for and it's certainly acceptable to say you don't feel it would be proper for you to repeat a rumor or engage in conjecture about another family's situation.
I agree with PA SB dad that any conversations not about your DD specifically should be about the whole team. If there are grumblings from multiple parents about a possible rift in the team, I think it's fair to say so, even if the coach put you in an unfair spot by asking you the question in the first place.
If I were in your shoes, if this is the way you feel, I would make it clear that you don't feel comfortable discussing these types of team issues.
Update- This issue is becoming worse and may boil over before to long. The player has become almost defiant. The AC Dad is the type who thinks it is funny when his DD makes a complete fool of herself. Last weekend, she got hit by a pitch and raised her bat at the pitcher. Dad thought it was funny. Everyone else at the park thought it was out of line. A couple weeks ago, the young lady was moved down in the lineup do to a lack of productivity. They took a pic of the lineup and sent it to the president of the organization. There have been several other obvious shots fired by the player and her Dad in recent weeks. The HC is completely at a loss with the AC and the player. We have two tournaments left this summer. It may be the worse kept secret ever, that this player is going to leave on their own at that point. The HC is considering sending them on their way right now. His fear is that if a couple girls leave with them, he can't finish the season and would hurt the core group of kids on the team. It is a difficult decision. Remove the issue from the team and risk losing the rest of the season or allow it to continue and risk losing his self respect. I am glad I am not in the HC shoes.
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