Do I have a right to be upset???

[EP Dad]

This is the key to your post. All the runs before really don't matter, because your DD gave up the "winning" run. I know it doesn't taste good but it's a fact. Even if you rallied back and scored 5 runs in the last inning, your DD gave up the tie breaking run making it 6-5.

Was the run earned or unearned?

Being a pitchers parent myself I am very sensitive to the blame game. You win as a team and you lose as a team. Does the pitcher sometimes lose the game all by themself? Sometimes. Does the pitcher sometimes win the game all by themself? Hardly ever. Maybe a 1-0 game that they produced the 1 run in but that's about it.

I guess I'm not very good at the crutch. If I think my DD lost the game I try to learn from it and hope that she learns from it without me having to point anything out. If I think she didn't lose the game all by herself then I hope that she learns from what she did wrong and understands that she can't do everything herself. It's a bizarre game but confidence, mental strength, and belief are all part of it. The daughter may have given up that 6th run but maybe she pitched the situation perfectly and the shortstop launched the ball into right field. The pitcher can't blame herself for that. Instead she has to believe that if she keeps doing things right things will turn out. Otherwise she starts to believe that she has to do it all and that's a recipe for disaster.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Was the run earned or unearned?

Being a pitchers parent myself I am very sensitive to the blame game. You win as a team and you lose as a team. Does the pitcher sometimes lose the game all by themself? Sometimes. Does the pitcher sometimes win the game all by themself? Hardly ever. Maybe a 1-0 game that they produced the 1 run in but that's about it.

I guess I'm not very good at the crutch. If I think my DD lost the game I try to learn from it and hope that she learns from it without me having to point anything out. If I think she didn't lose the game all by herself then I hope that she learns from what she did wrong and understands that she can't do everything herself. It's a bizarre game but confidence, mental strength, and belief are all part of it. The daughter may have given up that 6th run but maybe she pitched the situation perfectly and the shortstop launched the ball into right field. The pitcher can't blame herself for that. Instead she has to believe that if she keeps doing things right things will turn out. Otherwise she starts to believe that she has to do it all and that's a recipe for disaster.

Very good points. I should have added the earned vs unearned in my post.

Sometimes I'm too hard on DD, sometimes I expect too much. Coming from a long line of pitchers I think it just comes with the job. A pitcher is the quarterback and the CEO of the team. Almost every single situation and outcome starts in the hands of the pitcher. DD might say, "SS blew that play". I say, "well someone I know threw the ball and it got hit to the SS, so let's not give the SS all the credit for the bloop".

DD makes mistakes, and fielders make mistakes. That's why we have "stats" for the mistakes. But when it's the championship game or the last game of the season ( like in this thread ) the reality is the only thing people remember is the winning/losing pitcher, and the winning/losing final play or run.

Trust me, we had a game a month ago winning 5-4. They had runners on first and second, slapper steps in. She pops up twice foul with high pitched balls, I'm sitting back thinking "heading to the trophy case in one more high pitch". NOPE, DD plants one low and girl drives in into the ground. First base playing up mis throws to third ( tie score comes across ) LF gets the ball and makes a bad throw to home and we lose 5-6.

1. We lose the game
2. ERA still intact
3. DD starts talking about the errors
4. I stop her and ask why would you come downstairs on a slapper with a 0-2 count who has been chasing everything high or popping it up?
5. Dad's right..............again.

 

[EP Dad]

We're all too hard on our pitcher daughters. In my DD's case in that scenario above she either threw what the coach in the dugout told her to throw or she didn't. If she did then it's not her fault. If she didn't then she missed one which all pitchers are going to do.

 

[Ken Krause]

The coach actually did you a favor. Your DD needed a rest, in my opinion. I am thinking that she was too young to carry a whole team. Congratulations to her for doing so well, but that sounds like an awful lot of pitches.

I agree with Amy. Your daughter carried quite a load all summer long. It was probably better for her not to have to pitch yet another game. Sure you lost, but it's 12U. Who cares?

I can also see the HC wanting to see her daughter pitch after having her sidelined for so long. I'm sure she thought she'd do a great job, and maybe she does from time to time. But that day wasn't her day.

Overall, sounds like your daughter had a great season and a rare opportunity. It should set her up well for the future!