Doug, I feel your pain. My DD#3 dropped softball when she was a sophomore. It can be really tough.
DD "B" is no longer a pitcher.
- Thread starter Doug Romrell
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I'll bet that was very tough!
- Nov 3, 2012
- 480
- 16
Doug,
I also feel your pain. MY 13 year old DD has been pitching for 3 years and I know the time and $$$ paid that I've sacrificed to help my DD. Im sure you've spent big$ and sacrificed so much time to help yours. When you get into this pitching, you never really know how much its going to take to go all the way. It really is a big investment from a parent to do this pitching thing. You have to be all in on this pitching thing to do it right. I guess thats why pitching parents get the crazy label. I know I would be really be frustrated if my DD gave up. I drive 45 minutes one each week to lessons and gave up competing in my sports for the softball. I guess you have to always account for the possibility that they won't make it as a pitcher. It would hurt me, but I still enjoy the time with my DD.
All I can say is nothing is absolute. Maybe sometime in the near future she'll rekindle the fire and want to pitch again. Never shut that door forever. Sometimes time is the best thing.
I also feel your pain. MY 13 year old DD has been pitching for 3 years and I know the time and $$$ paid that I've sacrificed to help my DD. Im sure you've spent big$ and sacrificed so much time to help yours. When you get into this pitching, you never really know how much its going to take to go all the way. It really is a big investment from a parent to do this pitching thing. You have to be all in on this pitching thing to do it right. I guess thats why pitching parents get the crazy label. I know I would be really be frustrated if my DD gave up. I drive 45 minutes one each week to lessons and gave up competing in my sports for the softball. I guess you have to always account for the possibility that they won't make it as a pitcher. It would hurt me, but I still enjoy the time with my DD.
All I can say is nothing is absolute. Maybe sometime in the near future she'll rekindle the fire and want to pitch again. Never shut that door forever. Sometimes time is the best thing.
- May 22, 2012
- 745
- 16
Doug, I enjoy your posts here and I can certainly understand where you are coming from! You are "all in" on this, and when you go "all in" on anything it is difficult to just walk away from it cold turkey. I'm "all in" too 
I'm a bucket dad with two girls and we practice every chance we can get. And sometimes even when we don't have a chance, we create one! I always tell myself that this is for them, for their confidence, for their long term aspirations,etc. And while I believe this to be mostly true, there is an element of it that is absolutely about me. I confess! The time spent with both DD's is priceless and I don't always get that interaction with them if they are texting or doing other things. I cherish the practice moments. Also, I cherish the in game success moments. There is nothing like watching your child succeed! So far, my DD's love softball, they (almost) never say no to practice, but they don't necessarily initiate it either. But I can tell that when they practice their spirits are improved and they most definitely keep coming back willingly. I think a fair amount of pushing from Daddy is quite healthy, especially during the younger years. I always remind them that "someone somewhere is practicing". Many times this provides the motivation.
I will know if they completely lose their interest, I have experienced it on the "piano lesson" side. Older DD was quite talented but fought tooth and nail whenever it was time to go to the lesson or practice. I will use that as my barometer, and hope the day never arrives!
Best,
Stick
I'm a bucket dad with two girls and we practice every chance we can get. And sometimes even when we don't have a chance, we create one! I always tell myself that this is for them, for their confidence, for their long term aspirations,etc. And while I believe this to be mostly true, there is an element of it that is absolutely about me. I confess! The time spent with both DD's is priceless and I don't always get that interaction with them if they are texting or doing other things. I cherish the practice moments. Also, I cherish the in game success moments. There is nothing like watching your child succeed! So far, my DD's love softball, they (almost) never say no to practice, but they don't necessarily initiate it either. But I can tell that when they practice their spirits are improved and they most definitely keep coming back willingly. I think a fair amount of pushing from Daddy is quite healthy, especially during the younger years. I always remind them that "someone somewhere is practicing". Many times this provides the motivation. I will know if they completely lose their interest, I have experienced it on the "piano lesson" side. Older DD was quite talented but fought tooth and nail whenever it was time to go to the lesson or practice. I will use that as my barometer, and hope the day never arrives!
Best,
Stick
- Mar 28, 2013
- 769
- 18
Doug,
I grew up on the opposite side of the coin from you. I was forced for years to participate in a sport because I was very good at it. It feels just as alone a Dad who does not pay attention. The agony of those years I will always remember. She should grateful that you respect her by allowing her to be open to you and being able to walk her own path, Like wise you should be proud of the fact that you are capable of doing the right thing, even if its the hard thing. Hey, one door closed there is going to be another opening. make sure your ready to step thru it.
I grew up on the opposite side of the coin from you. I was forced for years to participate in a sport because I was very good at it. It feels just as alone a Dad who does not pay attention. The agony of those years I will always remember. She should grateful that you respect her by allowing her to be open to you and being able to walk her own path, Like wise you should be proud of the fact that you are capable of doing the right thing, even if its the hard thing. Hey, one door closed there is going to be another opening. make sure your ready to step thru it.
My oldest DD has a love for the game. She was a dominate pitcher for a few years. Took her to a coach that did things opposite of everything I read on this board. Her game got ruined. She still loves the game just doesn't pitch like she used to. Plays LF. Not a strong bat but cries if she doesn't play.
Youngest DD plays and is amazing but I worry she will drop the game some day because she doesn't love it like her sister.
Youngest DD plays and is amazing but I worry she will drop the game some day because she doesn't love it like her sister.
- Feb 7, 2013
- 3,188
- 48
Doug - all us bucket dad's and mom's send our prayers to you and your family! I can certainly empathize with you on the wife not as supportive. Practicing pitching is just not on their radar with all of the other family responsibilities going on, I get it, but it doesn't make it any easier. MY 12U DD has had an interest in pitching since she was 6YO and couldn't get enough of it for the first couple of years. Lately however, she rarely practices on her own unless I bring it up first. She says she loves pitching in games but doesn't like to practice. I know how this will end up one day (probably sooner than later)...., I'm just enjoying the ride while it lasts
Doug I feel your pain, although not my DD, I had a pitcher that joined us 1st year 14U. She threw pretty hard mid 50's but accuracy was horrible. I gave numbers for several pitching coaches, but she never called them, nor did she practice at home. Her BB to K ratio was 2:1. She no longer plays at all. It's kinda sad when you see potential, and what could have been.... but life goes on, and she is your DD (no sport is worth the relationship).
Going thru the same thing with my daughter right now. She loves to play, but practicing is a chore to her. School, friends, boys, internet. A dizzying array of things that distract kids nowadays. She's at a tough age (13) and we're just here to help guide her and support her. I wouldn't want to be a teenager again.
Spot on! However, I think it's worse when they are 16. It's definitely a dizzying array of things that distract kids now days.
What's interesting is just under two years ago (when she was 14) DD announced that she really wanted to play softball. Having coached my oldest daughter from the age of 11 through 17, I knew she was starting WAY LATE. I also knew it might end up this way, so I was very mopey about it. Interestingly, it was my wife who got after me to the point I went out in the back yard and started off showing her the beginnings of pitching. Then, I got her on a rec team and helped coach that. Then that fall I gathered up 14 of the best rec players I could find and started a competitive team. I really took it by the horns. That's the irony of it all. Wife gets after me, I respond by doing, then the support falls off the table. I guess she thought it would just be the rec stuff, but that's not me, and my daughter wanted more. Yeah, there's a bit of a history with the support issues between me and my wife, so that's not the whole problem here. DD grew up and really started wanting that social life......ALL THE DAMNED TIME. The interest in working on her pitching dropped off the table. Yeah, it was finally me who told her she should tell her HS coach that she's not pitching. Why? Because I have two other dedicated pitchers who need game time and it isn't fair to give the HS coach a false sense of hope in someone who wouldn't work on it. Yes, at this point she's content to play left field on the varsity as a sophomore. I guess that's good enough. Yeah, I thought she had potential to be a great pitcher, but if she's more interested in these other things on the side, I guess I can't change that. Years from now she will regret this as her older sister does, but she's not going to get that now.
Yeah, I'm torn up, and it ain't easy gettin' over it. Not easy at all. Of course, the thing that keeps running through my head is this.... "Is this my fault? Is this my fault??"
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