Every single play of every single game or practice is an opportunity to learn. You, as a player, have the CHOICE to either grow and learn from what just happened or you can allow it to be your excuse.
I think that it starts at home. If a parent is a screamer and everything is a disaster, that is how the child is going to react. (Or it could be a coach that is over reacting.) I had a pitched ball hit the ground and hit me on the top of the head, the other day. I continued to sit on the bucket. The 8th grade girl said "Why didn't you react?" I said "How would that have made you feel?" She said "Awful." I told her that it wasn't awful. It was an accident.
I've always told 12U/14U DD she has a specific job to do on every pitch of every play until she leaves the field. It includes having fun, doing her best, and being a good sport. If she's on D, she should anticipate the play and communicate constantly with her teammates. On offense, know what to do every pitch on bunt, slap, grounder, fly, etc. and listen to base coaches. On the pine, encourage your team and be selfless. When the game ends, be a humble winner or a gracious loser.
RALEIGH, N.C. – If this marked the end of Jabari Parker’s college career, the South Side native and four-time Simeon state champ will have his regrets.
Parker struggled mightily in Duke’s 78-71 loss to 14th-seeded Mercer, a senior-stacked team that played with tremendous poise down the stretch.
Parker shot 4-for-14, finishing with 14 points, seven rebounds, four turnovers and zero assists.
In the locker room after the game, Parker was crying and could barely speak. He said the loss would influence his decision on whether to declare for the NBA draft, summarizing his feelings with the word: “Incompletion.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said. “Don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I can't resist commenting, I'm a counselor and have worked with several athletes. First the player has to WANT to have composure. Some kids are attention seekers and get away with fits at home to get there way. If the desire is there try developing coping skills such as relaxation. Deep breathing has scientific reason it works. Guided imagery, see the play, go to happy place. In practice use quick energy building drills, get them breathing hard. The chemicals that build in the brain with increase of Oxygen in body are pain killers. Eye contact with coach and don't forget mutual respect.
My DD has always been harder on herself than anyone else has been on her. She's a perfectionist. When she was younger and made a mistake or things didn't go her way, she didn't throw a fit or throw things, but you could tell she was mad at herself. She just looked really intense and got quiet. Coaches, parents, etc would tell her, "you can't show your emotions", but would never tell her how to not. A couple of summers ago, I had a conversation with Bobby Simpson at a Higher Ground camp and asked him for some advice to give my DD as it's useless to tell someone they can't show emotions without giving them the tools to avoid it. His advice was to find something symbolic, such as, pick up a fist full of dirt or grass and 'throw it away'. He also said the Olympic team used to have a mini toilet in the dugout and they would flush the bad stuff away. He had other suggestions that I can't recall now. It helped her tremendously. She chose to pick up a fist full of dirt to throw the bad play away. It just looks to everyone else that she's helping her grip.