Coach Dilemna - Alittle help please

[SB23]

Here is the problem: I have lost faith in my daughter's coach, he doesn't show the same interest or intensity that he once did. This is a 1st year 16U team.

The other problem is my daughter still loves her team, she has been with many of these girls for over 5 years. She does not care for this coach anymore but seems to tolerate for the sake of the team.


Please share suggestions, ideas, experiences you have when it comes to this topic.


Thank you

 

[JAD]

Sounds like a good time to start shopping for a new team. Most teams in our area have tryouts the first week or two of August.

 

[Coach JV]

The softball window is closing quickly by the time 16U rolls around.
Find a team that will help her get to the next level while giving her
plenty of reps at her position(s)

 

[grcsftbll]

I think at her age, it should be her decision what to do. JMO.

 

[sluggers]

The other problem is my daughter still loves her team, she has been with many of these girls for over 5 years.

I'm assuming your DD is around 15YOA.

She should make the decision about which team she plays on. But, you need to explain to her "the reality" of softball. This is also time for a life lesson about jobs and working with people.

At her age, the "good" players don't play on teams because they like the other girls on the team. "Good players" play on teams that make them better ball players. The good players learn how to work with other girls they may not know well and may not, in fact, like very much. In other words, good players learn how to develop a working relationship with teammates.

At some point, your DD has to decide why she is playing softball. Is she playing to hang out with her friends? Or is she playing to advance her skills at a softball player?

If she has no plans to play in college, then playing to be around her friends is fine. If she wants to play in college, she has to find a team that will make her a better ball player.

 

[FP26]

There could be a number of reasons for this. You will need to determine which reason fits and if it truly is a problem. Based on your original post I am making the assumption that she has had the same coach the entire time.

1) Perhaps the coach has reached his teaching limit. Some coaches are ideal for teaching at the younger ages. Focusing on mechanics. Having fun. Etc. Other coaches are better suited for the upper levels where other factors become more important. Not that mechanics are still not important, but they should already have decent mechanics by 16u. So while this could be a very good coach and a very good person, maybe he/she has simply taught the team everything he/she knows at this point.

2) Other coaches. Most schools in our area do not have junior high programs, so the players are forced to stick with rec and travel ball until they become freshman. Once the high school experience begins, they are learning things from multiple coaches. We have a mixture of coaching abilities in my particular region. Some high school coaches are better than travel ball coaches. Some travel ball coaches are better than high school coaches. If your DD is in this position, perhaps she simply has developed a stronger relationship with the high school coach than the travel ball coach. Or perhaps the travel ball coach teaches things a little differently. Since our team is in that exact position this year, we have been extremely careful with what we work on. We have decided that we do not want to contradict what is being taught at the various high schools and our team is made up of several different school districts. Therefore we really don't teach as much as we used to.

3) Practice - As part of a first year 16u team, the big change I have noticed is the ability to hold practices. At 12u and 14u we typically practiced 1-2 times per week throughout the winter and 3 times per week during the spring and summer. Twice per week when we had a tournament on the weekend. Due to high school responsibilities, jobs, and other activities, we were limited to twice per month during the winter and once per week during the spring and summer. It has become increasingly difficult to get our team to practices with any regularity. We do offer side hitting and pitching practices as an option but only a few participate in those (typically the same ones most of the time). So, my point is the environment has changed completely from 14u to 16u. And it has been a tough adjustment for our coaching staff as well as the players.

4) Personality - Perhaps the coach's personality has changed a little over the past couple years. Or perhaps the player's personality has changed during that same time. From personal experience I can tell you that my DD is a completely different person at 16u than she was at 12u.

I am sure there could be numerous other reasons as well. My advice is to speak with your DD and try to understand what her overall goals are. A few girls on our team are interested in playing at the next level. Some others are simply trying to get better so that they can compete for high school varsity spots (my team is mostly freshman right now). I would not be surprised if some of them change their goal to the next level once the varsity goal is reached, but for now the overall goals are not the same. If she is truly interested in playing in college, you should at least consider the possibility of finding a new team for next season. Good luck!!

Edited to add - As a coach myself, I would welcome a discussion like this from any of my players or their parents. My goal as a coach is to help the player reach her goals. If those goals cannot be reached on the team I help coach, I will do what I can to help the player find a team that better meets her goals. To me it is not personal. It is all about helping the players.

 

[SlapHitter]

"At her age, the "good" players don't play on teams because they like the other girls on the team. "Good players" play on teams that make them better ball players. The good players learn how to work with other girls they may not know well and may not, in fact, like very much. In other words, good players learn how to develop a working relationship with teammates."


This is spot on. My DD goes through this with school ball. Great advice.... The good players make it work.

 

[Coach JV]

At her age, the "good" players don't play on teams because they like the other girls on the team. "Good players" play on teams that make them better ball players. The good players learn how to work with other girls they may not know well and may not, in fact, like very much. In other words, good players learn how to develop a working relationship with teammates.

THERE IS NOTHING THAT HAS EVER BEEN POSTED ON THE INTERNET THAT IS MORE TRUE THAN THE ABOVE STATEMENT.
Nobody on this forum or anywhere will ever top this. I spent the last 3 years in this vortex.