Back Into Coaching
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Great job for giving your time for others in the sport. It is always rewarding to give your time and pass on your experience to other players and parents. I always pass this article on to the parents on my team: What Makes A Nightmare Sports Parent -- And What Makes A Great One | ThePostGame. I stress to them that the only voice the players should hear giving instructions are the coach, and the kids should only hear words of encouragement from outside the fences. I wish I had been a better sports parent myself, and wish someone had passed along their wisdom and experience as you are doing. My own kids no longer play sports and have moved on to other passions, but I still occasionally tell them that I miss watching them play, because I really do.
- Oct 3, 2009
- 372
- 18
Cannonball and PA, thanks for the kind words and passing along your stories. Like I said I made every mistake in the book, but I was especially bad on ride homes. Not so much yelling but more why did you do this, why didn't you do that? Fortunately my DD and I can laugh about it now but I know for a fact I made a game she loved so much less enjoyable and there was no excuse.
So the meeting was interesting. I don't want to bore people with the details but I might anyway.
The dad showed up first and we made small talk and I was pleasantly surprised at how calm and polite he was being. The mom showed up a few minutes later and before even saying hi to me she looked at him and said "xxxxx (travel softball organization) is definitely interested so maybe we do not have to put up with this rec drama when this season is over." She turned to me and said "Ok we are here like you asked, so what's on your mind?"
So I said well first I just wanted to thank both of you. Thank you for always having your DD on-time to practices and games. Thank you for supporting her and taking her to pitching and hitting lessons. I know what a commitment that is all the way around. And I finally thanked them for showing up to every game and supporting the team. Barely any reaction at all. They both obviously play Texas Hold'em professionally on the side. Now I was not saying this for effect, I meant it. Their DD makes every practice and is always on time. So I continued and told them their DD was not just a good softball player but a great teammate and I gave a couple of specific examples. Again I meant it, she is so kind to her teammates and encourages them all the time. And it is obvious that they have done a great job in raising a young lady that is very mature and kind. Polite smiles but no real reaction.
So next I said your DD is also a very gifted athlete and she does some things very naturally as a pitcher that really is amazing. And I took out my IPad to show them video I took of her pitching in a game. And I slowed it down and started talking about some specific things I saw that I thought were really good. And I told them that if they wanted I could email video from every game to her PC so she could review before lessons to get an idea of what their DD looked like in games. They both promptly said no to that idea and told me that was not necessary. I found it odd but whatever I just let it go.
Then I started telling them my story of all the things I did early in my DD's softball to make her life miserable. I told them I did not do it intentionally, but the fact was I did. And I gave them some very specific examples of some things I did that I am not proud of. Some of the behaviors overlapped with the Dad but I gave some others as well. When I was done he said "Well I have not done half of those things." The mom waited for a pause and said "Ok is that it?" I said yes and thanked them for coming and if they ever wanted to chat I was always available and if there were things I could do to help their DD more to let me know. They both just looked at each other and shook their heads.
I honestly have no idea if it even made a dent or not. I did not hear them yell from the stands when their DD pitched last night but again I have no idea if that was due to our conversation, a fluke, or just a temporary thing.
So the meeting was interesting. I don't want to bore people with the details but I might anyway.
The dad showed up first and we made small talk and I was pleasantly surprised at how calm and polite he was being. The mom showed up a few minutes later and before even saying hi to me she looked at him and said "xxxxx (travel softball organization) is definitely interested so maybe we do not have to put up with this rec drama when this season is over." She turned to me and said "Ok we are here like you asked, so what's on your mind?"So I said well first I just wanted to thank both of you. Thank you for always having your DD on-time to practices and games. Thank you for supporting her and taking her to pitching and hitting lessons. I know what a commitment that is all the way around. And I finally thanked them for showing up to every game and supporting the team. Barely any reaction at all. They both obviously play Texas Hold'em professionally on the side. Now I was not saying this for effect, I meant it. Their DD makes every practice and is always on time. So I continued and told them their DD was not just a good softball player but a great teammate and I gave a couple of specific examples. Again I meant it, she is so kind to her teammates and encourages them all the time. And it is obvious that they have done a great job in raising a young lady that is very mature and kind. Polite smiles but no real reaction.
So next I said your DD is also a very gifted athlete and she does some things very naturally as a pitcher that really is amazing. And I took out my IPad to show them video I took of her pitching in a game. And I slowed it down and started talking about some specific things I saw that I thought were really good. And I told them that if they wanted I could email video from every game to her PC so she could review before lessons to get an idea of what their DD looked like in games. They both promptly said no to that idea and told me that was not necessary. I found it odd but whatever I just let it go.
Then I started telling them my story of all the things I did early in my DD's softball to make her life miserable. I told them I did not do it intentionally, but the fact was I did. And I gave them some very specific examples of some things I did that I am not proud of. Some of the behaviors overlapped with the Dad but I gave some others as well. When I was done he said "Well I have not done half of those things." The mom waited for a pause and said "Ok is that it?" I said yes and thanked them for coming and if they ever wanted to chat I was always available and if there were things I could do to help their DD more to let me know. They both just looked at each other and shook their heads.
I honestly have no idea if it even made a dent or not. I did not hear them yell from the stands when their DD pitched last night but again I have no idea if that was due to our conversation, a fluke, or just a temporary thing.
- Oct 4, 2014
- 57
- 6
andys
we had the same thing happen on a TB I coach. we took everyone, parents and kids into a room and had a discussion that was prearranged by the coaching staff. one coach said it is very important that we steal every pitch, then another said no I don't think that is right, we should only steal on pass balls then the next coach said we should steal when ever we can, provided it was on a pitchers count...looking for change. then I looked at the parents and said are you thoroughly confused yet? they agreed, they were extremely confused. I then said how do you think the girls feel when I give them an instruction then you yell something else from the stands...... I then instructed them not to coach from the stands period. if they have a concern visit with me before practice or game with what your concerns are and I will handle it. one voice and only one voice during games, period.
I also have sent an email to all parents at the beginning of the year that they are only allowed to say 3 things to their girls prior to games
1 I love to watch you play
2 play hard
3 I love you
I have had a very good experience since our talk and only had to tell one very excited parent to settle down.
we had the same thing happen on a TB I coach. we took everyone, parents and kids into a room and had a discussion that was prearranged by the coaching staff. one coach said it is very important that we steal every pitch, then another said no I don't think that is right, we should only steal on pass balls then the next coach said we should steal when ever we can, provided it was on a pitchers count...looking for change. then I looked at the parents and said are you thoroughly confused yet? they agreed, they were extremely confused. I then said how do you think the girls feel when I give them an instruction then you yell something else from the stands...... I then instructed them not to coach from the stands period. if they have a concern visit with me before practice or game with what your concerns are and I will handle it. one voice and only one voice during games, period.
I also have sent an email to all parents at the beginning of the year that they are only allowed to say 3 things to their girls prior to games
1 I love to watch you play
2 play hard
3 I love you
I have had a very good experience since our talk and only had to tell one very excited parent to settle down.
