Advice for stressed out new travel ball parent....

[grcsftbll]

Early on we were really careful what we said around our DD (9 yo). She was happy, wanted to play more but loved the team. We put a positive spin on things. Work hard, earn your spot. That was the goal. As time went on it became obvious there was no earning a spot on this team and as we got more frustrated/angry (not just about playing time, it was a whole big mess) she picked up on it. We still tried to keep it positive but eventually she was frustrated too, when her effort (and, frankly, skill level) made no difference. Once she was frustrated and angry too we put less priority on keeping it to ourselves. If your DD is happy, keep it to yourself IMO. If she truly is one of the weakest players then not playing her as much might be justified, and she can work and earn more play time if her coach is a good coach.

 

[sluggers]

At this age, the child will reflect how the parents react. The more fun you have, the more fun she will have.

She is better off playing TB at this age than playing rec. She is going to be learning a tremendous amount about softball, and will be a lot better next year.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I wish I had been more ready emotionally for travel ball... Playing time wasn't an issue for us before because she was usually one of the better house players, or the best pitcher on the team. But playing up in 12U travel is a whole new world I was not ready for myself.

There are multiple stages of parenthood emotions when it comes to travel softball.

@9U 1st year of travel ball. OMG. These girls are all so good. My DD will never be this good. She keep making mistakes. The coach knows everything. This is all sooooo new and different. 4+ games in one day??? Did I do the right thing with my DD?

@10U 2nd year of travel ball. My DD paid her dues. She is a much better player now. She belongs on the field. It's old hat now.

@11U 3rd year of travel ball. OMG. Those other girls are so big. They are fast and they hit the ball hard. Don't know if DD can play and keep up with them and the bigger ball. The coach is OK. Wonder what he's thinking sometimes.

@12U 4th year of travel ball. It's time for my DD to dominate. WTF is wrong with the coach??? He keeps making mistakes with the lineup and where he's playing the girls. I'll have to talk to him about it.

@13U 5th year of travel ball. College recruiting?? What??? Next year it starts??? It's so confusing. The coaching seems to be better. My DD can play with some of the bigger teams. It's not so scary. I'm soooo bummed we didn't play late on Sunday.

@14U 6th year of travel ball. The recruiting process is a lot of work. Which college camp is the right one? Does HS ball matter? Which exposure tournaments are we playing in? That's a lot of traveling. Getting really expensive now. Oh... DD is playing a lot. Coaches seem better.

@15U 7th year of travel ball. DD is driving me crazy. She doesn't know which school she wants to try and attend. She doesn't know what she wants to major in. The HS coach is a complete joke and does not know how to coach the team. My DD needs to play more in the showcases. Got a couple of letters from college coaches inviting her to their camps. The coach must be interested in her, right? So-n-SO is being asked to verbal already. DD told me sit and relax during the games. Guess I'll put my chair down the outfield line and just watch.

@16U 8th year of travel ball. DD finally decided where she wants to go to school. Still haven't heard from that coach. No other offers yet. What are we going to do? More of her friends have verballed. DD's HS coach is still brain dead, but DD plays more. Why doesn't the travel coach do more to get my DD recruited? I need to talk to him. She plays all the time in the showcases.

@17U 9th year of travel ball. The DD finally got a couple of offers. They weren't from her #1 choice. She is happy. We are happy. The HS coach might be getting better. DD drives herself to practice. She is playing less in the showcases to let the younger girls play. Life's a Beach!!

@18U 10th year of travel ball. DD signed her NLI. Don't care what happens this year. I'm still parked down the line at the field.

College: DD told me the schedule is posted on the web site. Still have my seat down the foul line.

 

[Terror Coach]

I see a lot of advice saying if she is having fun you stay with the team. I coach a 10u team. My daughter is on the team but is only 8. She has been playing softball for 1 1/2 years. She did no t ball or rec ball. The team is moving up next year. My daughter loves the team. Even though the girls are older she fits in well. While her skill level is on par with her teammates the size difference is an issue. 10u girls are faster, stronger, and bigger. We watched some 8u games this weekend and she is way ahead of kids her age.

My question is would you move a 9u kid up to 12's if she is having fun and improving. The team is good. She don't see much infield time. We play a tough schedule. She does have decent size hands and a strong arm. Throwing won't be an issue. Plus finding a team you love being on is tough. So what would you guys do in this situation?

 

[let it be fun]

I see a lot of advice saying if she is having fun you stay with the team. I coach a 10u team. My daughter is on the team but is only 8. She has been playing softball for 1 1/2 years. She did no t ball or rec ball. The team is moving up next year. My daughter loves the team. Even though the girls are older she fits in well. While her skill level is on par with her teammates the size difference is an issue. 10u girls are faster, stronger, and bigger. We watched some 8u games this weekend and she is way ahead of kids her age.

My question is would you move a 9u kid up to 12's if she is having fun and improving. The team is good. She don't see much infield time. We play a tough schedule. She does have decent size hands and a strong arm. Throwing won't be an issue. Plus finding a team you love being on is tough. So what would you guys do in this situation?

What level are you playing? Legitimate 12A ball is good ball and can be a big jump for good 10A teams. Since you made a comment about her not playing much infield, are you concerned about her playing infield vs outfield? Is she? If she is fast and you think she is a future outfielder she might be in a perfect spot. There is a lot more action in the OF at 12U than there is at 10U. If, on the other hand, she wants to play a different position, it might be tough to do when playing up. Having run quite a few tryouts, there is always a demand for real outfielders who know how to play the position.

 

[Terror Coach]

Due to the big jump up I will be a little more conservative with scheduling next year. In 2 years we will play an A ball schedule. I'm not worried about where she plays. Last year she never played infield and that did bother her. This year she is getting a little more infield time. Long term she is probably an infielder but who knows. She really could play anywhere. I can see her moving to 2nd in 2 years. Her glove is one of the best on the team. She just don't have the reaction times needed yet. If she played 10s next year she would be an infielder.

She is begging me to move up. She has been told what I need to see before I can move her up. She is working hard to make it happen.

 

[JAD]

A question I would love feedback on: how much do you guys share with your daughters what is going on in your head? I am stressed about pitching time, playing time, etc... as my daughter is one of the weaker players on her 12U team (I played her up and realized maybe this was a mistake, but too late, so we will finish the season.) This stuff stresses me out, and I need to learn not to wear it on my sleeve when I'm with my daughter.

Players react differently to stressful situations. Some would use being a weaker player as a motivator to work hard to improve, some would use it as an excuse and some would get frustrated and quit. Since you pushed her to play up, my advice would be to work hard with her outside of her normal practice times to make her the best she can be. At the end of the season you can make adjustments as necessary.

 

[RetiredCoach]

As a travel ball coach, I have noticed that the children seem to always reflect the attitude of the parents. If the parent's freakout their DDs will freakout. So, don't freakout!

On a more personal note, as my DDs have progressed thru the different travel ball levels I have learned to have a healthier sense of detachment. I recognize that, now, that what they do in softball is truly in their hands. I can't force it. I know how it feels to be a parent and a coach and, I believe, that it is best to keep the negative stuff to myself because if I expressed it to them it would only detract from their enjoyment of the game.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

I see a lot of advice saying if she is having fun you stay with the team. I coach a 10u team. My daughter is on the team but is only 8. She has been playing softball for 1 1/2 years. She did no t ball or rec ball. The team is moving up next year. My daughter loves the team. Even though the girls are older she fits in well. While her skill level is on par with her teammates the size difference is an issue. 10u girls are faster, stronger, and bigger. We watched some 8u games this weekend and she is way ahead of kids her age.

My question is would you move a 9u kid up to 12's if she is having fun and improving. The team is good. She don't see much infield time. We play a tough schedule. She does have decent size hands and a strong arm. Throwing won't be an issue. Plus finding a team you love being on is tough. So what would you guys do in this situation?

There is no way I'd move a 9YO to 12U. Ever. And I certainly wouldn't even consider it if the girl in question is anything less than the absolute best player on her 10U team, and even then I still wouldn't consider it.

Strong, mature second-year 12U teams have far more in common with 14U than they do with 10U. In fact, a good mature 12U should play some 14U on occasion. Really good 10U teams often struggle when they have to age up to 12U, as well.

Just remember that 13YO girls can be fully grown. I have a TON of experience with 12U ..... my advice? Leave your ego at home and let your DD play 10U where she belongs.

 

[grcsftbll]

We at least one local 2nd year 10U team that sometimes plays up in 12U tournaments, and even win. They're really good though. With the bigger ball, greater distance, and often much larger opposing players, I imagine 10U girls who can hang in 12U are probably an exception that proves the rule. Seems like they hit a growth spurt around age 11/12. We're 1st year 10U and even the 2nd year 10U teams seem so huge in comparison sometimes.