Advice for stressed out new travel ball parent....

[msamom]

There is no way I'd move a 9YO to 12U. Ever. And I certainly wouldn't even consider it if the girl in question is anything less than the absolute best player on her 10U team, and even then I still wouldn't consider it.

Strong, mature second-year 12U teams have far more in common with 14U than they do with 10U. In fact, a good mature 12U should play some 14U on occasion. Really good 10U teams often struggle when they have to age up to 12U, as well.

Just remember that 13YO girls can be fully grown. I have a TON of experience with 12U ..... my advice? Leave your ego at home and let your DD play 10U where she belongs.

This is what I did - move her up to 12U right when she turned 10. She had usually played up in house ball, so she (and I) thought it would be "fun" to keep her with girls she had played with before. That was my mistake. If I had put her on that 10U team, I think she could've shined more. Big fish in small pond theory. Hopefully, as a PP mentioned, she will be ahead of the curve for next year if we find a different team.

 

[Terror Coach]

Retiredcoach, I couldn't agree more with you. I have an older daughter that has moved on to college. I also coached her coming up. I learned a lot with the my oldest on how to coach your kids. The moment we leave the park I'm dad again. At practice she usually works with the other coaches. At home is when I work with her.

Lilangels, my ego has nothing to do with this decision. I'm on her asking advice on how to handle. The size of the girls is clearly an issue. As an 8u girl playing 10u it's an issue already. I also agree with what you say about even if she was the best player keep her down. The problem I'm having is what to do with her current team. Her current team is special. The girls are loaded with talent. The girls have no drama. I have coached a few different teams and have never seen a team like this. Not only that she fits in with this team. On and off the field these girls are her close friends.

I have a couple options. I can start a new 10u team. After 2 years of coaching 10s I'm good at working with the little ones. I have no doubts I can build another quality team. Another option is to coach two teams. This would be a ton of work but doable. My daughter would probably practice with both teams and play up when not playing 10s.

The problem with starting a new team is what would happen to my current group. I don't believe they would stay together. Their is no one to step in and take over as head coach. I also know a few of the girls would be crushed. What is going to happen next year comes up all the time from parents and kids. We are a close group. I don't want to quit on these girls.

Option 3 is have her play for another team. I don't like this option but would consider. The problem is to put her on another team it would be a lot of driving. Quality teams in this area are rare. This would also mean I may miss her games coaching. She wants to play for me. Her sister played for me and she wants the same. We even hit the same food places when traveling. The kid is living the dream right now.

Now maybe this is ego but this kid has it. My oldest is good. The youngest could be special. Once her body catches up to the older girls she will be fine. That is why I would consider moving her up. I can protect her by sitting her against the top a level teams. But at the same time I do worry about her. As a father I want her to develop.

 

[riseball]

Keep in mind that much of what the parents of youth athletes obsess over is of no importance whatsoever in the long term success of the child. Support them, guide them and sit back and enjoy the ride. For every kid with a parent that actually contributed significantly to their kids sporting success, I have seen a hundred that have totally screwed it up.

 

[bleacher coach]

Be happy that she is good enough to play up and make the travel team

 

[junkball]

We at least one local 2nd year 10U team that sometimes plays up in 12U tournaments, and even win. They're really good though. With the bigger ball, greater distance, and often much larger opposing players, I imagine 10U girls who can hang in 12U are probably an exception that proves the rule. Seems like they hit a growth spurt around age 11/12. We're 1st year 10U and even the 2nd year 10U teams seem so huge in comparison sometimes.

There are two 10u teams that "play up" on occasion here in Atlanta area. One has done very well, one a mixed bag. But it is important to realize that neither one of them have won jack squat against a legit 12U team. Think of it this way - would you want your kid to play for a B level 12u team that would lose to an A level 10u team that played up?

I went through the whole "should we play up" debate before, and had people pulling me hard on both sides. She was wanted by top 10u teams, and some 12u teams that were pretty good. End of the day, we decided to stick with 10u. It was a good choice.

 

[nikkilugi]

We are in the same position. My daughter moved up with her team to 12U at the age of 10. She is a pitcher and there are times that I really, really regret not sitting down and really discussing the differences she would see playing 12U ball. She does fine with the 12'' ball and she is fine at 40' - but she is slower than most other pitchers even at the B level play which is what she plays. She is a pretty big girl for her age but she has not hit that puberty mark where she really starts to mature both in body and mind and it shows. I think she would have been so much more successful at the 10U level - pitching faster and getting the strikeouts that she so desperately wants. She doesn't get them now - she holds her own with her movement but if she lays one over the plate that ball is in the outfield with no chance of being caught.

However, she loves the team, loves the coach, has super great success batting in the middle of the line-up, and most of all is having fun. I remind myself of that when I talk to my friends whose daughters stayed in 10U and are super successful. I do believe DD will catch up and this experience will be invaluable in the end. In the meantime I smile and tell her great job. When she cries about her pitching I tell her we will work harder together. When she asks me to go catch her I drop my stuff and grab my glove. I support her 100% - I, however, will NOT let her move up to 14U until she absolutely has to, especially because she is a pitcher.

 

[grcsftbll]

When we first started 10U there were 7 girls on our 06 team who'd played up (well, 6 plus one 05), and therefore were not new to 10U. I fell victim for awhile to the "oh no, she's behind" mentality. The girls who had played up were more polished with their fielding on average, and better hitters. It was interesting to see the batting stats, and the very clear line between those who played up and those who didn't. My DD was on the line, top of the first year girls; there was one who'd played up who was below her for batting average, but otherwise the girls who'd played up hit the best across the board. The 2 pitchers who'd been pitching 1-2 years longer were throwing faster than she was. This was in the fall. I have no time machine so I just had to accept that we hadn't played up and oh well; we did think perhaps we'd made a mistake. So here we are in spring and she's pretty much caught up. She's usually batting 500+ again, her pitching turned a serious corner, her throwing is much better. I don't think at this point if she were still on the fall team, that you'd be able tell which girls played up last year and which ones didn't, for the most part. Seems to me the kids who have a natural knack and the work ethic to back it up catch up pretty quickly whether or not they play up.

 

[GoCaboNow]

We are in the same position. My daughter moved up with her team to 12U at the age of 10. She is a pitcher and there are times that I really, really regret not sitting down and really discussing the differences she would see playing 12U ball. She does fine with the 12'' ball and she is fine at 40' - but she is slower than most other pitchers even at the B level play which is what she plays. She is a pretty big girl for her age but she has not hit that puberty mark where she really starts to mature both in body and mind and it shows. I think she would have been so much more successful at the 10U level - pitching faster and getting the strikeouts that she so desperately wants. She doesn't get them now - she holds her own with her movement but if she lays one over the plate that ball is in the outfield with no chance of being caught.

However, she loves the team, loves the coach, has super great success batting in the middle of the line-up, and most of all is having fun. I remind myself of that when I talk to my friends whose daughters stayed in 10U and are super successful. I do believe DD will catch up and this experience will be invaluable in the end. In the meantime I smile and tell her great job. When she cries about her pitching I tell her we will work harder together. When she asks me to go catch her I drop my stuff and grab my glove. I support her 100% - I, however, will NOT let her move up to 14U until she absolutely has to, especially because she is a pitcher.

DD situation is pretty similar to yours. She is a 2005 and still 10 but moved up to 12's with her older team last fall. I have to admit leaving the 11" ball and 35' was a little daunting but 12u games have been more fun for her to pitch in. At 10u walks would drive her nuts since she is a perfectionist, control freak. 12u, since she is playing up, we just told her to just sling it and whatever happens, happens. She has bought into this and is much looser and happier in the circle. Whether it was mom and dad or her just maturing, is hard to say...Surprisingly, her K's are about the same but home runs hit against her are way up. I do wish we had 11u leagues here as it is mostly those dang 2003 kids that are the problem.

 

[wheresmycar]

DD situation is pretty similar to yours. She is a 2005 and still 10 but moved up to 12's with her older team last fall.

Same situation... Jan 2005 birthday, wife wanted her to play up... I held firm, that if she wanted to continue pitching, she needed more innings at 10u. We stayed in 10u, and she was one of the top pitchers, one of top fielders, and one of the best hitters. Now, she is on the A squad of the 10u summer tournament team.

Had she played up, she would have been lucky to pitch at all, average fielder and average hitting. And probably sitting the summer out.

Wife even admitted late in the spring season, it was right decision to stay in 10u, and not try to "Keep up" with other girls she played with last year.

Funny thing... we played my younger daughter, 2007 (8u) up in the 10u league. Last opportunity to coach both kids on same team, and I couldn't resist. And she did fine, but I definitely detected some lost confidence and enthusiasm as the season progressed. Part of that was big sisters shadow, and part of it was going from King of the 8u league, to average player in 10u. We encouraged her to try out for the 8u summer team, and she is on the A squad of the 8u team. Not sure how we will pull this off logistically, but she is excited to be playing this summer. As a parent, it's a bit frustrating to watch 8u again, but it's all about her.

 

[msamom]

DD situation is pretty similar to yours. She is a 2005 and still 10 but moved up to 12's with her older team last fall. I have to admit leaving the 11" ball and 35' was a little daunting but 12u games have been more fun for her to pitch in. At 10u walks would drive her nuts since she is a perfectionist, control freak. 12u, since she is playing up, we just told her to just sling it and whatever happens, happens. She has bought into this and is much looser and happier in the circle. Whether it was mom and dad or her just maturing, is hard to say...Surprisingly, her K's are about the same but home runs hit against her are way up. I do wish we had 11u leagues here as it is mostly those dang 2003 kids that are the problem.

So what do you think you will do this summer? Play her again with the current 12U team she is on? (for us that would mean she will play with them for another year, and then either move up early again, or find another team when she is 11 turning 12...) Or try to find a team with mostly 2005 players?