Oh, Lord! I didn't sign up for this!
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I'm the manager of a 10U B team. Maybe six weeks ago the mother of one of the players, Bella, tells me her daughter had come home upset from practice. I figure I know why; we had been working on bunt coverage and Bella had been a fielder the whole time. We finally brought her in to bunt so she could have a turn, but we needed to get some other girls a rep and after her turn we asked her to go play SS. She complained that she only got to bunt one time and went out and stood at SS and sulked the rest of practice. But Bella's mom says that's not the reason she came home upset. Bella claims that another player, Alexa, said "I hate to you." to her. Bella's mom says maybe it was just a misunderstanding, but wanted me to be aware.
Bella is a feisty baller who has some issues, goes to therapy twice a week, may be autistic, gets very upset sometimes if she makes a mistake and is a little immature. Alexa, seems like a sweet little kid, so I pretty much dismiss this. I do ask Alexa at the next practice if she ever said I hate you to one of her teammates and she seems shocked by the question and denies it. I tell her, "We only say positive things to our teammates, right?" and she agrees.
I don't have any more trouble until a week ago Sunday when at our 1st tournament a player comes to me in the dugout crying that another player, Lila, hit her in the head with a bat. The player can't tell me if it was an accident or not. I'm steamed, safety issues make me react pretty harshly. I go and ask Lila what happened and she doesn't really have a good answer. I yell at her a bit at tell her she shouldn't be handling a bat in the dugout if she's not about to go up to bat (no on deck this tourney). She tears up and when I look at her later she's sitting at the end of the dugout on the floor crying. A few minutes later I see her mother is in the dugout talking to her. I say, "When you're done with Lila let me have a word". She gives me the look of death.
When I get a word with her, she tells me I'm not being a positive coach and I've made her daughter feel bad by taking her out of the game. Lila hasn't told her about the bat incident. I tell her and tell her that I've yelled at her daughter about it. I apologize for using the phrase "damn bat" and go back to the game.
I expect to get ripped in email that night, but I get a text that says Lila wasn't upset about me yelling at her, but because just afterwards she had accidently bumped into Alexa who called her "Fat, ugly and stupid".
So now I have to call Alexa's mom and tell her that there have been two accusations against her daughter. I tell her that if this continues we'll have to have a discussion about Alexa remaining with the team. Alexa's mom calls me the next day and says that Alexa has denied the latest allegation and that Alexa is a terrible liar and they can tell she's being truthful. I tell Lila's mom I've had a conversation with Alexa's mom. I don't mention the denials.
Today I get more texts from Lila's mom. Lila claims Alexa was following her around practice today calling her more names. I wasn't there, but I call my AC and she says she didn't hear anything, that the two didn't even really have much chance for interaction today. Curiously, todays texts mention the possibility of moving Lila to the 12U or staying on 10U if she can be used to her full ability minus the bullying. She also makes some digs at Alexa's skills.
Good grief! Did I mention Bella was the girl in the dugout who got hit in the head?
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I'm the manager of a 10U B team. Maybe six weeks ago the mother of one of the players, Bella, tells me her daughter had come home upset from practice. I figure I know why; we had been working on bunt coverage and Bella had been a fielder the whole time. We finally brought her in to bunt so she could have a turn, but we needed to get some other girls a rep and after her turn we asked her to go play SS. She complained that she only got to bunt one time and went out and stood at SS and sulked the rest of practice. But Bella's mom says that's not the reason she came home upset. Bella claims that another player, Alexa, said "I hate to you." to her. Bella's mom says maybe it was just a misunderstanding, but wanted me to be aware.
Bella is a feisty baller who has some issues, goes to therapy twice a week, may be autistic, gets very upset sometimes if she makes a mistake and is a little immature. Alexa, seems like a sweet little kid, so I pretty much dismiss this. I do ask Alexa at the next practice if she ever said I hate you to one of her teammates and she seems shocked by the question and denies it. I tell her, "We only say positive things to our teammates, right?" and she agrees.
I don't have any more trouble until a week ago Sunday when at our 1st tournament a player comes to me in the dugout crying that another player, Lila, hit her in the head with a bat. The player can't tell me if it was an accident or not. I'm steamed, safety issues make me react pretty harshly. I go and ask Lila what happened and she doesn't really have a good answer. I yell at her a bit at tell her she shouldn't be handling a bat in the dugout if she's not about to go up to bat (no on deck this tourney). She tears up and when I look at her later she's sitting at the end of the dugout on the floor crying. A few minutes later I see her mother is in the dugout talking to her. I say, "When you're done with Lila let me have a word". She gives me the look of death.
When I get a word with her, she tells me I'm not being a positive coach and I've made her daughter feel bad by taking her out of the game. Lila hasn't told her about the bat incident. I tell her and tell her that I've yelled at her daughter about it. I apologize for using the phrase "damn bat" and go back to the game.
I expect to get ripped in email that night, but I get a text that says Lila wasn't upset about me yelling at her, but because just afterwards she had accidently bumped into Alexa who called her "Fat, ugly and stupid".
So now I have to call Alexa's mom and tell her that there have been two accusations against her daughter. I tell her that if this continues we'll have to have a discussion about Alexa remaining with the team. Alexa's mom calls me the next day and says that Alexa has denied the latest allegation and that Alexa is a terrible liar and they can tell she's being truthful. I tell Lila's mom I've had a conversation with Alexa's mom. I don't mention the denials.
Today I get more texts from Lila's mom. Lila claims Alexa was following her around practice today calling her more names. I wasn't there, but I call my AC and she says she didn't hear anything, that the two didn't even really have much chance for interaction today. Curiously, todays texts mention the possibility of moving Lila to the 12U or staying on 10U if she can be used to her full ability minus the bullying. She also makes some digs at Alexa's skills.
Good grief! Did I mention Bella was the girl in the dugout who got hit in the head?
